GayPatriot

The Internet home for American gay conservatives.

Louisiana Sold Back To The French!!

by

President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal.

BATON ROUGE, LA. – The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

“This is a bold step forward for America,” said Bush. “And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jacques Chirac, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash.”

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

“Jacques understands full well that this one’s a ‘fixer upper,'” said Bush. “He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they’ve got a lot of work to do. But Jacques’s assured me, if it’s not right, they’re going to fix it.”

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

“Shuba-pie!” said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. “Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!”

However, President Bush’s decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

“This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President,” said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. “Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we’ve just made 25 million dollars in pure profit.”

“This is indeed a smart move,” commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. “Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we’ve made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again.”

The money gained from ‘The Louisiana Refund’ is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

(GP. Editor’s Note — A friend just emailed this to me…. if anyone knows where it originates…. please let me know. I’d like to give proper attribution!)

Comments

  1. Yep, that sounds consistent with this administration’s policies- rebuild Iraq by destroying the US.

    Maybe once his lame duck term is up, Bush can run for president of Iraq; I’m sure he’s almost as popular there as he is here!

  5. This is from BSNews.org. The full article is here:

    http://www.bsnews.org/articles/56

    Another relevant sample:

    John Roberts’ Big Moment Blemished by Rambunctious Gay Son

    Citing that he is ‘deeply disappointed’ with the girlish inclinations of his son, John Roberts apologized to a traumatized Christian nation today.

    “Words cannot express how saddened I am by my son Jack’s uncalled for outburst of femme dancing yesterday,” said an unusually emotive Roberts. “I’m sorry. Like all of us, I am deeply disappointed by the girlish inclinations of my son, and believe you me, his homosexual tendencies will be dealt with.”

    http://www.bsnews.org/articles/47

  6. Wouldn’t it be great if we could give Louisiana back to France and let the French pour $200,000,000,000 of their taxpayers’ money into what has historically been the nation’s most corrupt state — and we know New Orleans is “run” by one of the nation’s most incompetent city governments. Let the French have them.

  7. Let the French have them.

    Actually, upon further consideration that’s a GREAT idea! But why stop there?

    Let’s give Texas back to Mexico. . . Hell, let’s let the South secede! It’s what they want anyway. Besides, all the ECONOMIC and CULTURAL centers in the US are ‘Blue’. Federal tax revenue flows from Blue states to Red states. And we Blue-staters are sick of providing ‘welfare’ to the lazy Red-states which can’t seem to make economic or cultural contributions to the US!

    Without those lazy Red staters, we would not only be a richer country per capita, but would also probably have universal health care and gay marriage by now. Besides, all the hicks in the North could move to their third-world utopia in the South for faith-healing and to marry their cousins!

  9. In That Same Satirical Vein

    MoveOn.org Says Ready For Rita

    Galveston, Texas – As Texas Gulf Coast braced for the worst, activist group MoveOn.org today began moving massive convoys of celebrities, civil rights rights spokesmen, reporters, conspiracy theorists and litigators into the region for the expected weekend landfall of Hurricane Rita.

    MoveOn spokesman Peter Maloney said that the organization made painful mistakes during the Hurricane Katrina disaster which they would strive to avoid with Rita.

    “Frankly, we were caught flat-footed by the Katrina,” said Maloney. “We lost almost six hours before were able to coordinate our blame workers with our complaint teams, let alone set up basic communication links with the European media.”

    “This time, though, we are locked and loaded,” he added, pointing to a detailed pre-Hurricane response plan that includes over 10 satellite uplink trucks, redundant teleprompters, and over 200 pounds of nails to flatten the tires of evacuating residents.

  10. O.k. We’ll take our oil and you blue stat MF’s can freeze.
    Further, we’ll take our tech companies, internet hubs, fishing, agriculture, seaports, travel hubs etc. etc. etc. and let the elitist, snobby, bitchy, whiney, blue state P’s of S figure it out for themselves.

    Deal?

  11. #10 Additional.

    Take back all your yankee carpetbaggers from Florida, Charleston and Texas. Take your freeking Canucks to.
    It’ll sure as hell be easier to drive without blue state retards driving 30 MPH in the left lane with their turn signal stuck on.

    Fair enough?

  15. There won’t be another civil war because you and I both know that blue staters don’t have the balls to even touch a gun.

    Wanna bet?

    O.k. We’ll take our oil and you blue stat MF’s can freeze.

    Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Argentina aren’t red states yet. . .

    Further, we’ll take our tech companies, internet hubs, fishing, agriculture, seaports, travel hubs etc. etc. etc. and let the elitist, snobby, bitchy, whiney, blue state P’s of S figure it out for themselves.

    Yeah, I forgot that the internet was invented in Tennessee! And there aren’t any lakes up north, right?

    And just because we “got some schoolin'” doesn’t mean we’re elitist snobs. . . it’s the fact that we actually believe in science, “ain’t that right”?

    Settle down Billy Bob, it was just a joke- like the ‘parody’ of New Orleans!

  17. Bush Rulez and GOParrot, you’re both marvelous! Bush Rulez, for having just driven ThatGayConservative into a “coucher” rage, oui; and GOParrot for having provided the antidote for the same — Trunk Monkey! What a stitch Trunk Monkey is — where did you find him?

  19. #15-18

    Those countries aren’t red states, but how much do you think you’d actually get from them?

    I wasn’t referring to your boy Algore inventing the internet, I was referring to the tech/internet hubs in Houston, Atlanta etc.

    As far as lakes? I don’t see what that has to do with anything I said. Oh wait. I mentioned fishing. I wasn’t talking about lakes, but the gulf fishing. But then, you can still get shrimp and what not from China and South America. I’m sure you wouldn’t have a problem with exporting jobs there.

    As far as science goes, you only believe in it when it supports your kook agenda. And “schoolin'” doesn’t make you an elitest snob, but being an arrogant prick does.

    Geez! Inbreeding apparently makes one hostile!

    Clearly, liberalism makes you stupid.

    having just driven ThatGayConservative into a “coucher” rage,

    Hardly. I laugh at his BS.

    By the way, Bush Rulez, notice they NEVER respond the Red State welfare issue?

    One doesn’t really have to. It’s yet another one of those tired, worn out, better-than-you liberal lies. But hey, whatever creams your twinkie.

  24. “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
    Comment by ThatGayConservative
    ======================
    I’m 98% bullseye at seven yards with the 45. The Tomcat is a much more up and personal hit. But either way, it wouldn’t be MY eye.

    Never the less, I do appreciate being called kid.

  33. DUE YOU HAVE THE EXECUTIVE ORDER NUMBER OF THIS. OR A COPY OF THIS TRANS ACTION THAT THIS WAS DONE. THEIR IS SO MUCH HEARSAY AND FRAUD. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE REAL PROOF OF THIS ACT. ANY ONE CAN SAY BUT I AN ONLY INTERTESTED IN THE PROOF. IF YOU DO ARE CAN DIRECT ME TO A CITE TO GET THIS PROOF. MY EMAIL IS ITCONSTITUTIONAL@AOL.COM MY NAME IS ROD