Louisiana Sold Back To The French!!
President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal.
BATON ROUGE, LA. – The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.
“This is a bold step forward for America,” said Bush. “And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jacques Chirac, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash.”
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.
“Jacques understands full well that this one’s a ‘fixer upper,’” said Bush. “He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they’ve got a lot of work to do. But Jacques’s assured me, if it’s not right, they’re going to fix it.”
The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.
“Shuba-pie!” said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. “Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!”
However, President Bush’s decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.
“This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President,” said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. “Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we’ve just made 25 million dollars in pure profit.”
“This is indeed a smart move,” commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. “Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we’ve made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again.”
The money gained from ‘The Louisiana Refund’ is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.
(GP. Editor’s Note — A friend just emailed this to me…. if anyone knows where it originates…. please let me know. I’d like to give proper attribution!)
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Yep, that sounds consistent with this administration’s policies- rebuild Iraq by destroying the US.
Maybe once his lame duck term is up, Bush can run for president of Iraq; I’m sure he’s almost as popular there as he is here!
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 23, 2005 @ 7:23 pm - September 23, 2005
BTW, 25 million dollars would last just under 4 hours in Iraq (at 7.4 million USD per hour- the current rate of spending). Don’t you feel that’s money well spent?
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 23, 2005 @ 7:29 pm - September 23, 2005
The residents of Louisiana should appreciate this parody…. you know, they were underprivileged anyway….
Comment by Babs — September 23, 2005 @ 7:39 pm - September 23, 2005
Très funny, Monsieur Bruce.
Comment by GayPatriotWest — September 23, 2005 @ 7:46 pm - September 23, 2005
This is from BSNews.org. The full article is here:
http://www.bsnews.org/articles/56
Another relevant sample:
John Roberts’ Big Moment Blemished by Rambunctious Gay Son
Citing that he is ‘deeply disappointed’ with the girlish inclinations of his son, John Roberts apologized to a traumatized Christian nation today.
“Words cannot express how saddened I am by my son Jack’s uncalled for outburst of femme dancing yesterday,” said an unusually emotive Roberts. “I’m sorry. Like all of us, I am deeply disappointed by the girlish inclinations of my son, and believe you me, his homosexual tendencies will be dealt with.”
http://www.bsnews.org/articles/47
Comment by JT — September 23, 2005 @ 11:24 pm - September 23, 2005
Wouldn’t it be great if we could give Louisiana back to France and let the French pour $200,000,000,000 of their taxpayers’ money into what has historically been the nation’s most corrupt state — and we know New Orleans is “run” by one of the nation’s most incompetent city governments. Let the French have them.
Comment by Jack L. Allen — September 24, 2005 @ 1:33 am - September 24, 2005
Let the French have them.
Actually, upon further consideration that’s a GREAT idea! But why stop there?
Let’s give Texas back to Mexico. . . Hell, let’s let the South secede! It’s what they want anyway. Besides, all the ECONOMIC and CULTURAL centers in the US are ‘Blue’. Federal tax revenue flows from Blue states to Red states. And we Blue-staters are sick of providing ‘welfare’ to the lazy Red-states which can’t seem to make economic or cultural contributions to the US!
Without those lazy Red staters, we would not only be a richer country per capita, but would also probably have universal health care and gay marriage by now. Besides, all the hicks in the North could move to their third-world utopia in the South for faith-healing and to marry their cousins!
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 24, 2005 @ 9:18 am - September 24, 2005
#6 — You have deeply offended both New Jersey and Washington DC, who take their titles as most corrupt state and most incompetently managed city with a certain amount of pride.
Comment by V the K — September 24, 2005 @ 2:22 pm - September 24, 2005
In That Same Satirical Vein
Comment by V the K — September 24, 2005 @ 6:22 pm - September 24, 2005
O.k. We’ll take our oil and you blue stat MF’s can freeze.
Further, we’ll take our tech companies, internet hubs, fishing, agriculture, seaports, travel hubs etc. etc. etc. and let the elitist, snobby, bitchy, whiney, blue state P’s of S figure it out for themselves.
Deal?
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 24, 2005 @ 6:26 pm - September 24, 2005
#10 Additional.
Take back all your yankee carpetbaggers from Florida, Charleston and Texas. Take your freeking Canucks to.
It’ll sure as hell be easier to drive without blue state retards driving 30 MPH in the left lane with their turn signal stuck on.
Fair enough?
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 24, 2005 @ 6:30 pm - September 24, 2005
Damn.
LMAO. Oh my god!!
Blog Rage Alert!!
Comment by GOParrot — September 24, 2005 @ 6:51 pm - September 24, 2005
BTW, you also forfeit the military bases in all red states as well as all the blue counties within red states.
Sound like a deal?
There won’t be another civil war because you and I both know that blue staters don’t have the balls to even touch a gun.
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 24, 2005 @ 6:59 pm - September 24, 2005
This sounds like a job for “Trunk Monkey”.
http://www.trunkmonkeyad.com/
Comment by GOParrot — September 24, 2005 @ 7:00 pm - September 24, 2005
There won’t be another civil war because you and I both know that blue staters don’t have the balls to even touch a gun.
Wanna bet?
O.k. We’ll take our oil and you blue stat MF’s can freeze.
Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Argentina aren’t red states yet. . .
Further, we’ll take our tech companies, internet hubs, fishing, agriculture, seaports, travel hubs etc. etc. etc. and let the elitist, snobby, bitchy, whiney, blue state P’s of S figure it out for themselves.
Yeah, I forgot that the internet was invented in Tennessee! And there aren’t any lakes up north, right?
And just because we “got some schoolin’” doesn’t mean we’re elitist snobs. . . it’s the fact that we actually believe in science, “ain’t that right”?
Settle down Billy Bob, it was just a joke- like the ‘parody’ of New Orleans!
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 24, 2005 @ 9:41 pm - September 24, 2005
Geez! Inbreeding apparently makes one hostile!
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 24, 2005 @ 9:55 pm - September 24, 2005
Bush Rulez and GOParrot, you’re both marvelous! Bush Rulez, for having just driven ThatGayConservative into a “coucher” rage, oui; and GOParrot for having provided the antidote for the same — Trunk Monkey! What a stitch Trunk Monkey is — where did you find him?
Comment by Queer Patriot — September 24, 2005 @ 11:16 pm - September 24, 2005
By the way, Bush Rulez, notice they NEVER respond the Red State welfare issue?
Comment by Queer Patriot — September 24, 2005 @ 11:17 pm - September 24, 2005
#15-18
Those countries aren’t red states, but how much do you think you’d actually get from them?
I wasn’t referring to your boy Algore inventing the internet, I was referring to the tech/internet hubs in Houston, Atlanta etc.
As far as lakes? I don’t see what that has to do with anything I said. Oh wait. I mentioned fishing. I wasn’t talking about lakes, but the gulf fishing. But then, you can still get shrimp and what not from China and South America. I’m sure you wouldn’t have a problem with exporting jobs there.
As far as science goes, you only believe in it when it supports your kook agenda. And “schoolin’” doesn’t make you an elitest snob, but being an arrogant prick does.
Geez! Inbreeding apparently makes one hostile!
Clearly, liberalism makes you stupid.
having just driven ThatGayConservative into a “coucher” rage,
Hardly. I laugh at his BS.
By the way, Bush Rulez, notice they NEVER respond the Red State welfare issue?
One doesn’t really have to. It’s yet another one of those tired, worn out, better-than-you liberal lies. But hey, whatever creams your twinkie.
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 24, 2005 @ 11:44 pm - September 24, 2005
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all month. Thanks for the laugh.
Now if we could only find a way to sell President Fox a few million of his misplaced Mexicans…..
Comment by Jay Croce — September 25, 2005 @ 12:07 am - September 25, 2005
Or if we can talk Fidel into purchasing our kommies (liberals).
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 25, 2005 @ 1:08 am - September 25, 2005
#13
May I introduce you to my Colt .45 and my Beretta Tomcat .32.
The Tomcat is my plinking gun.
Comment by chandler in hollywood — September 25, 2005 @ 4:23 am - September 25, 2005
#22
Oh how cute.
“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 25, 2005 @ 5:01 am - September 25, 2005
“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
Comment by ThatGayConservative
======================
I’m 98% bullseye at seven yards with the 45. The Tomcat is a much more up and personal hit. But either way, it wouldn’t be MY eye.
Never the less, I do appreciate being called kid.
Comment by chandler in hollywood — September 25, 2005 @ 5:10 am - September 25, 2005
By the way, Bush Rulez, notice they NEVER respond the Red State welfare issue?
One doesn’t really have to. It’s yet another one of those tired, worn out, better-than-you liberal lies. But hey, whatever creams your twinkie.
Oh really?!?!?
http://www.taxfoundation.org/research/show/266.html
You can read the full report there. Or maybe it’s also a “tired myth” that the wealthy pay most federal taxes?
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 25, 2005 @ 10:02 am - September 25, 2005
Also here’s a nice synopsis:
http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2004/09/red_states_feed.html
Comment by BUSH RULEZ! — September 25, 2005 @ 10:03 am - September 25, 2005
Well done Bush Rulez. Wonder if the twinkie realizes he’s been creamed.
Comment by Queer Patriot — September 25, 2005 @ 11:29 am - September 25, 2005
http://theriverring.blogspot.com/
Please visit my blog. It is about La. politics.
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I like what you have done with your site, and can’t wait to see more.
Comment by Alaska Joes Fishing Trips — January 26, 2006 @ 12:53 pm - January 26, 2006
Very true. You always seem to get your facts right.
Avax
Comment by agriculture electronic scales — February 13, 2006 @ 3:35 pm - February 13, 2006
Anybody know how we get an RSS feed for this blog? I am not very tech savvy and would really like to get updated info on this blog. Thanks!
Comment by Fish Hooks — February 27, 2006 @ 1:20 am - February 27, 2006
How can I get an RSS feed on this blog? I am new to this and really like the content being discussed here
Comment by Fishing Lodges — February 27, 2006 @ 9:56 am - February 27, 2006
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Comment by Rod Class — January 1, 2007 @ 5:03 pm - January 1, 2007