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Differing Holiday Greetings

Posted by Bruce Carroll at 6:36 am - December 24, 2005.
Filed under: Liberals,Post 9-11 America

For Our (Liberal) Democrat Friends: “Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age,physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher! .This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

For Our (Conservative) Republican Friends: Here’s wishing all of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

(via email)

-Bruce (GayPatriot)



  1. Outstanding! I wonder what the cost would be of having proprietary Christmas cards made with these respective holiday greetings embossed on them, particularly the Liberal greeting? I might try it next year.

    Comment by greg wilk — December 24, 2005 @ 8:42 am - December 24, 2005

  2. Merry Christmas (long i) Bruce and Dan.

    Comment by V the K — December 24, 2005 @ 9:09 am - December 24, 2005

  3. Maybe I’m not liberal enough, but I simply say “Merry Christmas” to those that celebrate Christmas, “Happy Hanukkah” to those who celebrate Hanukkah, and “Happy Holidays” to those who don’t celebrate either, or to those I don’t know what they celebrate. Works well for me. Most people I know don’t get offended, if I get it wrong, but I respect people enough to attempt to give them the appropriate greeting.

    Comment by Pat — December 24, 2005 @ 9:51 am - December 24, 2005

  4. Congratulations! Turning a season of Joy into one of Hatred, Changing the celebration of the birth of the Prince of Peace into encouraging Anger and War: It’s what you Conservatives do best.
    But I do wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you enjoy your day of consumption. Your phony big box version of a church is probably closed anyway.

    Comment by bbbustard — December 24, 2005 @ 12:23 pm - December 24, 2005

  5. #4

    Is this what you call the pot calling the kettle black? Nobody could possibly be more angry, miserable, hate-filled, self-hating etc. etc. etc. than a liberal.

    Comment by ThatGayConservative — December 24, 2005 @ 12:44 pm - December 24, 2005

  6. I laughed out loud . . and then I read the comments by bbbustard and I cried . . . do liberals not understand humor?

    It is amazing that liberals can find hate in everything . . . there was nothing “Hateful” in the spoof Holiday card . . . when will liberals start to think logically and not emotionally?

    Sigh . . .

    Comment by Mogenda — December 24, 2005 @ 1:21 pm - December 24, 2005

  7. when will liberals start to think logically and not emotionally?

    If they could do that, they wouldn’t be liberals.

    Comment by V the K — December 24, 2005 @ 3:04 pm - December 24, 2005

  8. Have a miserable, depressing and hate-filled holiday, bbbustard .

    That ought to make him “happy”.

    Comment by ThatGayConservative — December 24, 2005 @ 3:24 pm - December 24, 2005

  9. Happy Hollidays my conservative Republican friends…oh…no no, really, I do believe in Christ. What? Well I don’t think I’m less of a Christian because I didn’t say…There isn’t any need to act like that and just interrupt me because I decided to merely say Happy Holi…I didn’t say it to be politically correct although…I’m just saying so what? I mean there’s Hannukhah and Kwanza and New Years…but I am a Christian! why do you repeatedly bring my faith into question? Yeah..yeah..just whatever!

    (This was last conversation on christmas with a conservative christian republican. Apparently you guys believe your incapable of mindlessness. 🙂 Now thats a joke.

    Comment by Damon — December 25, 2005 @ 6:01 am - December 25, 2005

  10. Ha, typical republican, prospering from the sweat of the common man. I hope you are not trying to pass this piece of text off as your own work. It’s been doing the rounds for a few years now and is courtesy of an undoubtedly democratic music Professor Gary Potter. And here was me thinking he was pastiching the onslaught of the litiginously minded republicans LOL!

    Besides, can someone tell me at what point Patriotism became synonymous with Repunblicanism. I suppose gayjingoist was already taken as a domain name. (c8

    Seriously though – I hope you had a good Chirstmas, and come to see the light of liberalism in the year ahead.

    Check it out…

    Comment by Rupert Breheny — December 27, 2005 @ 5:47 am - December 27, 2005

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