Comments on: Holding Hands in West Hollywood

By: Mary in Iowa

Mary in Iowa — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 16:42:16 +0000

Here in the Midwest there is alway a limited amount of PDA. When I see male/female hand holding it makes me feel bad that I can’t reach out and hold my girlfriends hand — which I naturally want to do (heck, we hold hands in bed).

I have never seen men holding hands here. I don’t think it would go over very well.

By: Steve in San Diego

Steve in San Diego — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 20:34:49 +0000

I’ve always found this topic interesting.

I’ve lived in the “Gay Bubble” in Boston and now San Diego and in both places it seems rare for male couples to hold hands. Personally, I do it when dating/partnered but am aware of the boundaries where it is “safe”. I don’t mind being glowered at by non-approving people or getting a little comment but I don’t want to be put myself and my partner into a situation that could get ugly. That line is different for different people.

That said, I wish more guys would hold hands. I remember being in the financial district in San Francisco 10+ years ago and being fascinated by the normality of two middle aged businessmen in suits holding hands as they walked to lunch.

Personally, I’d rather feel safe to hold hands anywhere in public than get married. In some ways, it’s a stronger signal of full public committment. But that’s another conversation.

By: V the K

V the K — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:34:02 +0000

“one of the local public high schools had to ban PDAs when heteros complained about a rising incident of guys holding hands in the hallways during school”

Let me guess, Commie High?

By: Michigan-Matt

Michigan-Matt — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:13:33 +0000

Well folks, come on back to the land of liberty and love. Here in Ann Arbor, men hold each other’s hands without slight consideration to PDA prohibition. In fact, one of the local public high schools had to ban PDAs when heteros complained about a rising incident of guys holding hands in the hallways during school. In the Diag, you can spot guys holding hands on any sunny day it’s above 50. No big deal.

By: ThatGayConservative

ThatGayConservative — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 06:34:58 +0000

I wouldn’t mind holding my partner’s hand while in public, but we just don’t. Not even in the Montrose (well, we did a few times) nor in London where we noticed a lot of guys holding hands.

One interesting note, I’ve seen straight couples holding hands, say at the mall, and it sorta looks fake. Can’t explain it, but it seems contrived or forced.

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 03:55:16 +0000

Oh, come on! Isn’t anyone going to respond to my comments in #5? I thought I was confusingly witty!

By: cbi

cbi — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 01:27:17 +0000

Making out in public is offensive…gay or straight.

By: EssEm

EssEm — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 00:58:24 +0000

You see it a lot here in the Castro, but not as often as you might expect. When I was partnered, we held hands all the time.

What strikes me as odd here in Homo Central is that I far more frequently see straight couples kissing in public. I don’t mean peck-on-the-cheek, but making out. I sometimes think that straight couples here get anxious and so they make out to prove to themselves that they’re not going to catch the homo gene and turn. [As a matter of fact, I find it kind of offensive. Don't they have their own neighborhoods --aka, the whole planet-- to do that it in? But I digress]. On the other hand, I just don’t see gay men making out in public very often, either.

By: Ted B. (Charging Rhino)

Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 00:45:37 +0000

Minnesotans aren’t big on hand-holding and PDA’s in-general reqardless of the sexual-permutaions.

And where I live, it’s the lesbians and the straight(?) gal-pal friends that seem to be the most hand-grabbly, once you add men to the combination the hands stay farther and farther apart. And two men, rarely, except for a quick clutch once seated.

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 00:29:21 +0000

Hmmmm, I’m going to have to start paying more attention to straight people’s behavior. What percentage of straight couples holds hands? This could be used as a baseline against which we can measure the hand holding aptitude of every imaginable coupling. Polygamists, for obvious reasons, must remain in a category of their own, lol!

By: Kalroy

Kalroy — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 00:26:54 +0000

I’m a married straight man and I hold hands with my wife.
.
.
.
Because she likes it.
So maybe Caltechgirl is on to something.

Kalroy

By: GayPatriotWest

GayPatriotWest — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:55:58 +0000

Caltechgirl, good point, when I volunteer at Outfest, I always end up working at the screenings of lesbian films. The lesbian couples waiting in line frequently hold hands.

Maybe that’s why people accuse me so frequently of being a lesbian trapped in a gay man’s body.

By: Malcontent

Malcontent — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:52:31 +0000

I do my part, everywhere I go.

By: caltechgirl

caltechgirl — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:28:13 +0000

Maybe it’s that guys are just less demonstrative in public. In my experience with straight guys, the man is less likely to be the one initiating the PDA unless they have something to prove (like to show off that the pretty girl is THEIRS) or they’re trying to get something from the girl (like acceptance of an apology). Without a chick in the relationship, maybe it just doesn’t happen as often.

On a related note, I often see lesbian couples holding hands in public. But who knows.