(Hat tip to Inside Larry’s Head for this doozy of a story!)
Yes, a vampire is running for Governor of Minnesota this year. None other than Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey.
‘Impaler’ Sinks His Teeth Into Governor’s Race – StarTribune.com
Quite some distance from the mainstream, however, is his pledge to execute — by impalement in front of the State Capitol — terrorists, rapists, drug dealers, child abusers, repeat drunken drivers and anybody who preys on the elderly.
“I’m going to be totally open and honest,” he said. “Unlike other candidates, I’m not going to hide my evil side.”
Okay….. I’m starting to warm to this guy…..
Although he calls the “Christian God the Father” his “mortal enemy,” Sharkey said he has nothing against Jesus Christ or his followers. But he thinks God the Father was a poor parent for allowing his son to be crucified.
Well, at least we know he isn’t a LibDemocrat if he doesn’t hate Christians!
Sharkey, 41, is receiving veterans’ disability benefits because of a severe injury in the Army in 1982. On a high-altitude jump while training as a paratrooper, he says, his main parachute failed and the reserve chute opened just before he hit the ground “like a ton of bricks.”
I’m just guessing but I think he may have landed on his head.
I blame this all on Jesse Ventura for bringing out every Tom, Dick & Scary who thinks they are capable of running the Minnesota state government. At least if elected, you wouldn’t be surprised if the Governor tried to suck your blood in taxes! Oh, did I forget to mention he’s running for President in 2008?
Hillary versus the Impaler in 2008? Man, they are going to need a lot of garlic in the audience of the Presidential Debates!