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Please God, Tell Me This Isn’t Happening…

Posted by Bruce Carroll at 10:11 am - January 30, 2006.
Filed under: Blogging,Post 9-11 America

Was Dan’s humorous suggestion over a year ago actually a sad prophecy? (Is GayPatriot the new Andrew Sullivan?) And yes, that’s what the “original” GayPatriot site used to look like! LOL

Well, gang I hope this isn’t one of the seven signs of the End of Gays for me! Last night I went to my second visit to a sleep lab here in Charlotte to stop my excessive snoring (8 out of 10 scale!) and possible apnea. And, like Andrew, I too was fitted with a CPAP mask that will help me breathe better at night, stop the snoring, and help with the apnea. Andrew looked something like “Hannibal on oxygen” when he showed off his device on CNN.

Frankly I do not think I will allow a camera, much less one with live broadcasting capabilities, near me when I don the damn thing.

Here was Andrew’s take on his experience.

In general, I haven’t had the amazing burst of energy I had after my night in the hospital. Maybe the psychosomatic explanation holds up. But my sleep has been better; and longer; and deeper. I’m told it takes time to feel the cumulative effects; I do feel more rested; and sleeping itself has been much easier than I anticipated. But one side-effect has surprised me. It probably shouldn’t have. It makes sense, after all. I’ll give you a subtle hint: when you have air being pumped into you with a face mask for eight hours a night, and when there’s nowhere for it to escape, except some small holes in the top of the mask, then the air finds other outlets. So now, I officially have hot air coming out of both ends. The boyfriend has to choose between being deafened or fumigated. But my sleep is heavenly.

As for me, the first night with the CPAP mask (albeit in a sleep lab) was not the kind of euphoric experience Sully had. I just hope that I develop the long term, deeper sleep deal he talks about. PatriotPartner will probably be glad to sleep sans 32 decible earplugs, that’s for sure.

So I’m hoping that an increase in forced oxygen doesn’t turn one from a pro-war conservative to a Gay Leftist. Perhaps that’s why the Left wants to clean up the air? They know some secret molecule in O2 will brainwash all of us?

Anyway, my lack of sleep (perhaps stretching back over two years) is probably one reason I’ve been irritable at times and having increasing short term memory problems. The other reason is that I am irritable at times, and frankly the less I remember the less I have to testify to under oath.

-Bruce (GayPatriot… headed to Cleveland)



  1. Maybe that mask just muffles the snoring? ORA: Try wrapping a hot towel around your head.

    Comment by ColoradoPatriot — January 30, 2006 @ 10:49 am - January 30, 2006

  2. The ironic part is if a terrorist-detainee appeared on TV with a mask like that, Sully would be shrieking “Torture!” at the top of his lungs.

    Comment by V the K — January 30, 2006 @ 11:09 am - January 30, 2006

  3. “Luke, I am your father.”

    Comment by V the K — January 30, 2006 @ 11:10 am - January 30, 2006

  4. GP, watch out for sudden, unexplainable Left Turns….and the urge to pet strange beagles.

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — January 30, 2006 @ 11:38 am - January 30, 2006

  5. Careful. That mask is NOT what it appears. Its real purpose is to suck all the conservative views from your mind, and rearrange your thought feeling process to turn you into a liberal moonbat.


    Comment by sonicfrog — January 30, 2006 @ 11:42 am - January 30, 2006

  6. There’s ads on the radio for a CPAP without a mask. I suppose you could look into that. That’s what I would go for.

    Comment by ThatGayConservative — January 30, 2006 @ 7:45 pm - January 30, 2006

  7. Andrew shot his wad months ago when he started getting as moonbatty as Mother Sheehan and Murtha Focker. I quit reading him when his rants became so…

    Peter Hughes

    Comment by Peter Hughes — January 30, 2006 @ 10:43 pm - January 30, 2006

  8. Welcome to the ranks of Sleep Apnea sufferers. The good news is that most people don’t require a full face mask. Of the other varieties there is the standard just over the nose mask, what are called air pillows (little inflatable canulas that fit into the nostrils) and my favorite, the mask that just fits into the mouth kind of like a very small SCUBA mouthpiece.

    For me the alertness and energy increase happened so slowly as to be unnoticable. The deepness of the sleep jumped right out at me as I started waking up feeling like a zombie and it takes a few minutes to shake it off.

    Anyway, if you are diagnosed with Apnea through a sleep study then there is no doubt you have it. Be patient with the CPAP, be open to the different CPAP masks and devices and don’t just settle for whatever they want to foist off on you, there are choices. Good Luck!

    Comment by RC — February 2, 2006 @ 12:10 pm - February 2, 2006

  9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport “the terminal?” …just a silly joke, couldn’t help myself 🙂

    Comment by myfreepaysite — March 7, 2006 @ 6:28 pm - March 7, 2006

  10. Great input. In fact I would go as far as saying your 101% right on. Others may disagree but I certainly do not

    Comment by ionic breeze quadra compact silent air purifiers — March 29, 2006 @ 11:37 am - March 29, 2006

  11. Nice Site! I have a bearded dragon called Gucchi and a border terrier called Ruby.They both hate each other and run a mile when they see each other! I enjoyed your blog- Thanks. R

    Comment by Pets — March 31, 2006 @ 7:22 am - March 31, 2006

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