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State of Union Pre-Game LiveBlog

Posted by Bruce Carroll at 8:43 pm - January 31, 2006.
Filed under: General

Eh…. American Idol has too many “characters” in their melodic drama for me to do a play-by-play quite yet. But some singers from tonight stick in my head… like the female African-American prisoner guidance counselor who sang, “I’m A Redneck Woman”…. and sang it very well. Me like! Me like!

Then the very overweight guy who kind of looked like a young Louie Anderson was rejected by all three judges bitched and moaned outside the door to Ryan. As he left the room, Simon said “thank God it was a ‘no’… we couldn’t afford the food bill.” Okay, mean… but I admit I laughed. I’m sure the Gargantuanly Large Americans Against Defamation (GLAAD) will put out a press release tonight.

I’m also browsing some other blogs and find more proof our friend Dandy Andy is a Liberal.

Yes: this president! George W. Bush. I repeat: George W. Bush. He thinks we’re consuming too much oil. I’m not making this up. Promise. They just sent me an email.

And look: I know, I know. But the only sane response is to cheer and check the details. Five years too late … but better late than never. Now, how about that gas tax?

Andrew… Al Gore is on the phone for you.

8:50 PM. This has been a rather TERRIBLE American Idol episode. From what I can tell, they have aired the best auditions from last week’s San Francisco tryout.

But tonight from Las Vegas, most of the singers have just been horrible. I’d turn it off except I’m afraid I’d miss something…

8:51 PM. Hey, Idol contestants…. first lesson: LEARN THE FRIGGIN WORDS.

8:52 PM. Are you kidding me? Cindy Sheehan Plans To Be in SOTU Audience.

You know that the networks will show Momma Sheehan when the President speaks about Iraq. What a joke she is! I hope she dares to flip out so she can be escorted out by big beefy Marines. Sheehan for Senate of California… I’m all for it!

8:56 PM. The Vegas auditions are SO bad that Randy and Paula think that this prematurely gray white dude from Alabama singing Ray Charles stuff is GOOD. Oy.

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6 Comments

  1. Yes, Andrew Sullivan is a lib.

    Now, just to fill you in on some other deeply held secrets.

    Chris Rock… black.

    Michael Moore… fat.

    Paris Hilton… slut.

    More updates later.

    Comment by V the K — January 31, 2006 @ 9:03 pm - January 31, 2006

  2. V the K… smartass.

    Comment by DaveP. — January 31, 2006 @ 9:27 pm - January 31, 2006

  3. Dave, why don’t you go bail your friend Cindy Sheehan out of jail tonight? It actually may give you something to do.

    Regards,
    Peter Hughes

    Comment by Peter Hughes — January 31, 2006 @ 10:44 pm - January 31, 2006

  4. Peter, if you weren’t oblivious to the point where I wonder how you can see the CRT, you’d know that I was TEASING V the K, not TRASHING him. Kindly grow the hell up.

    Comment by DaveP. — February 1, 2006 @ 4:54 pm - February 1, 2006

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