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It Doesn’t Work with Gay Men; It Won’t Work with Gay Penguins

February 10, 2006 by GayPatriotWest

We’ve all heard a story like this. When we come out to our family or friends, somey say, “Well, you just haven’t met the right girl.” And sometimes, they’ll try to fix us up with a nice young woman. But, no matter how attractive, charming or intelligent that woman is, it doesn’t change the fact that we’re attracted to men.

It looks like German zoo officials are, like our relatives, trying the same trick to “cure” some male penguins at the Bremerhaven zoo who prefer the company of their own sex by fixing them up with some fetching chicks. They’ve flown in a few females “last year in a bid to bring the males to mate.” One of the new females did “cause a couple of males to separate’.” Sounds like a few pushy women I once knew. You now the type, those women who believe that if a gay guy just had a few moments with her, he’d go straight in a jiffy.

Well, from the looks of the photo in the article, these two male birds seem very content, cuddling together. No woman, no matter how hard she tried, could pull apart a truly loving gay male couple. And if these birds are any bit like our species, I highly doubt that any female penguin, no matter how curvaceous her claws, how beautiful her beak or how tantalizing her tail feathers could separate these two lovebirds.

(H/t: Best of the Web.)

Filed Under: Gays in Other Lands, General

Comments

  1. ThatGayConservative says

    February 10, 2006 at 8:26 pm - February 10, 2006

    Bow-chicka-bow-wow!!

  2. North Dallas Thirty says

    February 10, 2006 at 8:35 pm - February 10, 2006

    Hmmmm……now I will spend the rest of the night wondering what penguins DO value from an attractiveness standpoint. 🙂

  3. GayPatriotWest says

    February 10, 2006 at 8:41 pm - February 10, 2006

    Well, ND30, one of my straight friends commented that he loves to see a woman in heels because such shoes accent the curve of her ankles, so I would assume that if he were a penguin he’d be checking out a chick’s claws.

  4. nk says

    February 10, 2006 at 8:47 pm - February 10, 2006

    Well, ok, sure, but I thought that penguins lived in Antarctica. What would we do if they put us in a zoo in Antarctica or for that matter Germany? If you are in a threatening situation you may be thinking about fighting and not f_____g in which case you would want to associate with fighters and not lovers. Anyway, just ornithomorphizing the anthropomorphizing.

  5. ThatGayConservative says

    February 11, 2006 at 3:00 am - February 11, 2006

    #4

    Who did what now?

  6. Zendo Deb says

    February 11, 2006 at 10:08 am - February 11, 2006

    Whenever someone says that “if you only met the right person, you would change your orientation” I usually turn it back on them. Offer to set them with same-sex partner. “I’m sure she will be the right woman for you!”

    Once you throw that in their face, they usually get it.

  7. Kevin says

    February 12, 2006 at 8:04 pm - February 12, 2006

    Well, I’ve heard that penguins have a strong inclination to mate for lfe and it sounds like gay ones are no different. Are these folks trying to create some kind of Exodus International for the short, flightless waterfowl set?

  8. raj says

    February 13, 2006 at 12:55 am - February 13, 2006

    Well, ok, sure, but I thought that penguins lived in Antarctica.

    Emporer penguins–they’re the big ones–do. I’m not sure what the entire range of all the penguin species is–I looked for it, but was unable to find it–but apparently they range far outside of the Antarctic region, particularly along some of the southern stretches of the coasts of South America.

  9. raj says

    February 13, 2006 at 1:03 am - February 13, 2006

    Are these folks trying to create some kind of Exodus International for the short, flightless waterfowl set?

    From what I have read about the effort at the Bremerhaven Zoo–it isn’t a particularly new story, by the way–the penguins that they were trying to mate with the Swedish penguins are considered an endangered species, and the zookeepers hoped that they could induce the gay male birds that Bremerhaven had with the female birds that the Swedish zoo had. It didn’t work very well.

    If they really wanted the gay male birds’ sperm to fertilize the female birds’ eggs, perhaps they should have considered artificial insemination. Although I don’t know whether that’s been tried with birds before. /tic

  10. neo tech book says

    March 15, 2006 at 8:14 pm - March 15, 2006

    A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

    “Well,” said the demon, “the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes don’t!”

  11. themoldlawyer says

    March 31, 2006 at 2:29 pm - March 31, 2006

    And penguins are mates for life… so those two males are going to be happy (pending the zoo people don’t interfere) for the rest of their lives.

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