Comments on: Norah Vincent’s Self-Made Man, A Must-Read Book on the Absence of Intimacy in Men’s Lives (Among Other Things)

By: GayPatriot » Athena at the Oscars

GayPatriot » Athena at the Oscars — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:01:40 +0000

[...] for the meaning of manhood than perhaps anyone (I’ve encountered) since Norah Vincent wrote of her life as a man in Self-Made [...]

By: World and Global Politics Blog » Blog Archive » Norah Speaks; GPW in His Element

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 06:06:34 +0000

[...] I just got back from a discussion and signing of Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Journey into Manhood and Back, the wonderful book by Norah Vincent, a graduate, like yours truly of America’s finest small college. I had reviewed the book last February and still ***highly recommend*** it. In the book, Norah recounts her experiences living for eighteen months as a man and offers observations on what she learned in that guise. [...]

By: themoldlawyer

themoldlawyer — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 19:44:08 +0000

i will read it. i forget the exact name of the book, but i recently read something about the feminisation of the american man. how wussy some of them have became and how it is the result of pressure from women. it’s arguable, but it’s interesting…

By: Florence MALETREZ

Florence MALETREZ — Fri, 24 Feb 2006 12:59:01 +0000

Hello,
I am a French publisher based in Paris.
I would like much to read this book “Self made man” by Norah Vincent : could you indicate me the name of the Publishing House so that I can get in touch with them and ask them to send me a proof copy ?
Thank you so much in advance.
Best regards,
Florence Maletrez
Rights Sales Manager
LES PRESSES DE LA RENAISSANCE

By: GayPatriotWest

GayPatriotWest — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 07:00:33 +0000

Actually, David in #8, I had a similar reaction when I first read the passages where she recounted going to the seediest places — and taking a job in a non-traditional line of work. The latter is more easily explained as it would be very difficult for her to maintain her disguise in a job which had the traditional interviewing and vetting process.

While I thought she offered the most insight in her chapters on the monastery and men’s group, I thought she showed that one could learn from watching men even in the seediest places. It is her observations of men which make this book worth its price (and then some). And if you can draw a universal from the seediest of environments, you have still drawn a universal.

By: Kalroy

Kalroy — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 06:38:04 +0000

I liked it. My wife is currently reading it now, and seems pretty wrapped up in it.

I’m glad Ms. Vincent’s experience helped to disabuse a few misconceptions she had. I know her experience helped disabuse me of a few.

Still some serious misconceptions about the military and those who serve, however. Hey, subject for her next book perhaps.

Kalroy

By: CGHill

CGHill — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 02:36:08 +0000

What I wrote about it, three weeks or so ago:

Who else will speak up for the guys? If we do it, anything we say will be dismissed as self-serving bloviation, and few are the straight women who are inclined to say anything on our behalf these days, especially if they suspect they’re being overheard by persons wearing “Crush the Patriarchy” shirts.

As a garden-variety straight guy, I appreciated this book tremendously.

By: Zoe Brain

Zoe Brain — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 00:28:11 +0000

I’m very glad she made it out with her sanity intact. Gender Dysphoria is bad enough when you’re born with it, and faking male is far easier when you have male hormones in your system.
What she did was extremely dangerous. Having to act in a role contrary to your gender for long periods will cause depression, and usually suicidal ideation. It gets worse the longer you do it too.

By: marc savard

marc savard — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 23:03:12 +0000

david,
i was watching foxnews when she was interviewed. she was asked by the audience at noon if she had to kiss a woman, and all she did was nod her head, and everyone went ‘eeewwww’. it was never stated during the interview that she was a lesbian. pretty weird. i too think she could have gone to some more typical places like a professional office, a sports bar, a construction site. it was focused too heavily on the seedier side of life.

By: David Ross

David Ross — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 21:01:56 +0000

marc, my impression was that Vincent had mentioned it but, for whatever reason, chose to downplay it in the initial chapters. She threw out a lot of “code”: starting out with a mention of “drag kings”, commenting that she was a tomboy as a child and noting a “girlfriend”. But I think you had to already know that she was gay to decipher this code; in my case, from reading her Salon work back in 1997-2000 when Salon was worth reading.

I’m not sure why she chose such seedy strip clubs for her experiment nor why she kept going back. Even Jim, the guy she went with, wasn’t comfortable with them. They’re certainly far worse than any I’ve visited. Although she does put her finger on why normal men, including Jim, prefer to attend more upscale joints and less frequently (when they go at all) rather than attend a “cheaper” place more often. Yecch!

By: Loweeel

Loweeel — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 17:53:52 +0000

Ooops, I posted way too soon, as I just skimmed it looking class years… my apologies!

By: Loweeel

Loweeel — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 17:53:00 +0000

Dan ‘85,

What, no comment about how you and Norah ‘90 share a common alma mater?

Have no fear, We over at EphBlog will be linking to this and noting the lovely ephconvergence!

By: marc savard

marc savard — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 17:40:47 +0000

i was not familiar with norah before i read the book. i am a 43 year old male hetero who was fascinated by the subject. as i read the book i was slowly coming to realize something wasn’t what i expected. then she told me outright she was a lesbian and i was taken aback. it changed the whole outlook i had for the rest of the book. i enjoyed it immensely, but it wasn’t what i had been looking for. i want a hetero female to look into a man’s world the next time i buy a book like this. she is a great writer but way too conflicted for my simplistic mind.

By: George

George — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 16:40:22 +0000

The book is worth a read. It’s alternately funny and insightful. Sadly, it is also more than a little creepy. The author (as a man) dates women, and as she’s seducing at leat one of them breaks the news that she’s really a woman. The author also tries to learn about men by visiting strip clubs. Fair enough. Except that the author spends what appears to be an inordinate amount of time (i.e. visit after visit after visit) to the lowest, foulest pits she can find. It’s also clear from reading the book that she went into the experience thinking that most, if not, all men were racists, homophobes, and woman haters who are slaves to their sex drives. In the end, she seems to learn that men are more complex and varied than that. In short, I felt sorry for the author.

By: Dave

Dave — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 15:15:28 +0000

Hmm. This review implies, in a delicate way, that yet another woman has observed men to conclude that something is wrong with them that only women can fix. And dear GPW, men are not catty, queens are. Let’s not get confused, lol. All in all this book does not sound scientific. There is no control group, no baseline. It appears to be the opinion of a lesbian disguised as a man who decieves clergy, straight women, and bowling buddies, etc. whose own interaction in this “experiement” must have been bound to affect peoples behaviors and the outcome of this “experiment”. The expression of her opinion may well have been artful and moving. But as we are all observers of human nature we should also be at least somewhat skeptical of her conclusions.

By: Bandit

Bandit — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 14:15:56 +0000

‘The part she hated most about being a man was learning that, “As a guy you get about a three-note emotional range” ‘

Actually that’s the good part. Low maint.

By: Sarah Rolph

Sarah Rolph — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 14:14:18 +0000

What a beautiful review. Absolutely the top of the form–this tells me so much about what the book has to offer.

And in addition to being a great review, you give us such thoughtful reflections. This is such as excellent piece of writing, it stands on its own as a lovely essay.

Thank you.