Hi folks…. I’m liveblogging the Oscars here. And Dan is liveblogging them over at PajamasMedia. Just a note as we start…. PatriotPartner is allowing me to watch against his better judgment as, in his words, “there are so much better things on TV tonight.” So he’s watching under a protest flag.
8:00 Eastern – The opening montage is great… especially in HDTV!
8:02 – Great “Brokeback” reference with Billy Crystal and Chris Rock in a tent during the opening sequence pointing out that no one wanted to host the Oscars and John Stewart’s dream sequence with Halle Berry and George Clooney in bed with him. Very good, and very John Stewart-esque!
8:07 – Great crack at liberal Hollywood by Stewart – “This is the one place you can see this many Hollywood stars without having to donate to the Democratic Party. It is about time you all voted for a winner.” Not many laughs. Except in this household!
8:10 – Stewart: “Bjork couldn’t make it because as she was trying on her dress, Dick Cheney shot it.” Very funny!
8:12 – Stewart just went on a riff about how middle America sees Hollywood as a sex-filled, glitzy, Sodom & Gomorrah. “I really have no joke here, just thought you all should know that’s what people think.”
8:15 – Great montage showing how, in Stewart’s view, “Brokeback” ruined the old masculine themed Westerns. Of course the montage showed very innuendo-laden clips from old movies. And Stewart is right, Charlton Heston WAS cut in his youth!
8:19 – Best Supporting Actor nomination is up. Nicole Kidman as presenter is pretty bad. She seems drunk. George Clooney wins for “Syriana”… so I’m sure he’ll give some Bush-hating remarks…. let’s see.
8:20 – Clooney: Admits Hollywood is out of touch, but says he’s proud because Hollywood is at the forefront of social change (civil rights movement, etc.) Of course he didn’t say anything about the closeted gays in the audience.
8:24 – Back after a commercial now. PatriotPartner thinks John Stewart was very smart NOT to mention President Bush in the opening. And man, Stewart’s observations about Hollywood being out of touch got under Clooney’s skin based on his reaction in his acceptance speech.
8:28 – Great riff by Ben Stiller who acted as though he was “headless” through technology, but alas was wearing a green suit (reference to green screen in filmmaking). He looks like a human lizard…. but very funny. “King Kong” wins for Visual Effects.
8:33 – We are eating dinner now, so excuse the break. Head over here to watch the fun at PJM (with Dan) until I’m done eating. And keep commenting until I get back too!
8:35 – A dinner interruption…. Dolly Parton looks fantastic. Thank God for the miracle of modern plastic surgery, eh? I love her!
8:48 – I’m back. I decided to count the gays winning Oscars tonight… kind of like a side-game. So far I count two, both in the short film category. I am not counting Clooney.
8:51 – Oh yeah, Russell Crowe looks terrible (rolling eyes) in a tuxedo.
We are coming up on 9:00PM Eastern… pausing now for station identification. 🙂
8:57 – Will Ferrell and Steve Carrel (two of the funniest guys of TV and film comedy these days, I think) are intro’ing the Makeup award. Both are horribly made-up with nasty makeup. Carrel looks like a drag queen in a suit. LOL.
8:59 – “Chronicles of Narnia” wins for best Makeup. We wonder if that was the bone thrown to the half-billion movie?
9:01 – One jab at the War in Iraq by Stewart. He said if “we tore down this large Oscar statue behind me, would democracy flourish in Hollywood?” Not funny, even the libs didn’t laugh. I wonder if he really means that Hollywood needs democracy? Hmmm.
9:03 – Morgan Freeman is giving out the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. PatriotPartner wonders why he is dressed down. I’m wondering how scary it is that I knew Morgan Freeman growing up on “The Electric Company.” Yikes.
9:04 – Rachel Weisz wins Best Supporting Actress for “The Constant Gardner.” Interesting to note this is the second big award “Brokeback” was passed up for. The first being Supporting Actor (Jake G.)
9:10 – Dan (GayPatriotWest) has fallen silent over at the PajamasMedia liveblog. Someone call Dan and see if he’s okay. Meanwhile, the discussion at PJM has a decidedly “Corner @NRO ” feel to it.
9:11 – Ooooo, Lauren Bacall. Love her. And she looks great for being, what, 90?
9:18 – A very funny montage of “political ad”-like lobbying ads for Best Acrtress. “Reese” – paid for by Americans for Best Actress with Non-Threatening Names. LOL.
9:19 – Best Documentary Short nominess are being announced…. what is a “Bang-Bang Club”????
9:20 – Awesome! “March of the Penguins” wins for Best Documentary Feature!!! And they brought up stuffed penguins to help with their acceptance speeches. (Oh, they are French…. one demerit.)
9:26 – Dear God… this song from “Crash” is putting me to sleep. How depressing. I vote for Dolly’s song (free on iTunes!)
9:29 – The careerbuilder.com with the monkeys playing with laser pointers on the guy’s butt is on. Funny. 🙂
9:32 – Why is Democrat US Congressman Ed Markey (Mass.) at the Oscars? Did he get some campaign check earlier today from Clooney?
9:33 – PatriotPartner wants to remind everyone that Sen. Joseph McCarthy was right…. despite the historical revisionism going on this evening in the Kodak Theatre.
9:35 – What the hell is the award now? I’m losing interest. Make John Stewart tell more Hollywood-smearing jokes!!!
9:36 – Samuel L. Jackson is lauding Hollywood’s “vanguard” at changing America. Now the self-gratifying montage begins…. What is the positive social change message from “Thelma and Louise”, might I ask?
Um… most of these movies they are showing took place after society solved the problems shown. When will Hollywood tackle Islamic fascism I wonder?
9:41 – And now a shameless plug for Glades Homemade Candy. PatriotPartner and I are feasting on dark chocolate-covered pecans. Yum. 865-436-3238. John says it is the best dark chocolate ever.
9:45 – Original Score nominees are up. Unless John Williams is nominated, I don’t care.
9:48 – I honestly think Brokeback Mountain’s score was very good and I hope it wins…. waiting for Selma Hayek to announce. She looks like she’s choking her left boob with her dress strap….waiting…
And Gusatvo Santaolalla, the composer of the score of Brokeback wins! Very good music, download it if you can. Next year, gay Argentinian immigrants!
9:53 – Commercial break. Did they say Jake Gyllenhaal and Eric Bana will be presenting together after the break? Now there’s the movie I wanna see!
9:56 – Nope, Jake is alone on stage. Looking good in a tux, looked better in a cowboy hat.
Jake introduced a montage of “epics” noting that you have to see movies like Ten Commandments, Star Wars, etc., on the big screen.
I see a pattern tonight from the Academy… “Red State America… don’t abandon us, remember all the great times we gave you. Come back and give us your money!” I wonder if they will restort to a tribute to Ronald Reagan? Seems they are getting desperate to me.
10:00PM Eastern – Jessica Alba got to be the lucky one accompanying Eric Bana. Um, I didn’t know he was Australian. And, he looks better in a tux than Jake did. Especially with the Australian accent.
10:03 – I lost track of the gays winning.. but Lily Tomlin is now presenting.
Tomlin and Meryl Streep are leading off a tribute to director Robert Altman (M*A*S*H). We love Meryl’s dress, by the way. They are phenomenal together!!! Have they ever been in a movie together?
Godsford Park was very good. I was never a big M*A*S*H (the movie) fan. And isn’t Altman a borderline Commie? Yeah, NDT, he’s one of those people that was supposed to move out of the USA after Bush won … twice.
Two minutes into Altman’s speech….. no Bush bashing yet….
10:13 – Altman is concluding his remarks by thanking his family, and PatriotPartner notes that no one yet this evening (unlike the Country Music Awards, for example) has thanked God for their success and/or talents. Very telling.
10:16 – They just showed an American Express ad starring (and obviously directed by) M. Night Shyamalan. John says if we are ever in a restaurant where he’s eating, we are leaving the joint.
10:19 – I’m sure the song “It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp” will go over well in rural America…. We muted the sound.
John points out that it is actually harder for those working for da pimp.
Look! A token white boy on stage!
10:22 – Queen Latifah is about to announce “Best Original Song”….. The Queen and PatriotPartner share the same hometown… some trivia for y’all.
The guys from 3-6 Mafia win for Best Song. There’s more metal in those guy’s mouths than Fort Knox.
Hey, despite being high and drunk they did thank Jesus. Otherwise I didn’t understand any other word they said.
10:27 – Jennifer Garner nearly took a spill on her way to the microphone to announce for Best Sound Editing.
10:30 – Looks like Gay #3 wins for sound editing for King Kong. Could be #4 too, but with a British accent it is always hard to tell.
10:31 – George Clooney is intro’ing a montage of those who died in the past year.
Not… recognizing… many… of …. these…. people.
We do miss Barbara Bel Geddes and Sandra Dee. Brock Peters was in one of the Star Trek movies and I think played a bad guy. Anne Bancroft died??!!!?? I thought Richard Pryor died a long time ago.
Andrew Leigh, liveblogging at PJM, wonders why there was no tribute to the passing of Theo Van Gogh.
Along those same lines, why isn’t any terrorist in a Hollywood movie an actual Middle Eastern guy?
10:37 – Will Smith is saying “hello” in different languages as a way to introduce Best Foreign Film. A guy named “Christian” directed “Joyeux Noel”… how odd.
We want to know why the Academy called it the “Palestinian Territories”? They are a parliamentarian-elected government with a Prime Minister and a rightist Isreali PM has withdrawn troops. Historic revision brainwashing again…
10:42 – A side note prior to Best Picture. I only saw Brokeback Mountain and Walk The Line. I think Brokeback was a better film of the two. But I wish I’d seen Crash and Capote.
10:44 – Hilary Swank is lookin’ hot. She actually looks like a woman tonight.
I almost forgot she is awarding “Best Actor.” I do think Heath Ledger gave a great performance. He definitely was better than Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash… in my opinion.
Philip Seymour Hoffman wins for Capote. Though I haven’t seen it, I’m not surprised given the reviews I’ve read and heard.
Again, Brokeback is getting shut out of the major awards. Maybe because it will get Best Director or Best Film? Not sure now after this one.
10:51 – Despite the Brokeback shutout so far…. I’m with Andrew Leigh at PJM on my wish for the night: ALAACMDW – As Long As A Clooney Movie Doesn’t Win. Yessir.
10:52 – John Travolta is announcing the Cinematography Award.
Dion Beebe wins for Memoirs of a Geisha. Another Brokeback slight, but another ALAACMDW!
Um… what will the mainstream media say if Brokeback only gets Best Score???
10:58 – Jamie Foxx announcing nominees for Best Actress…. Kiera Knightly looks a lot like Winona Ryder. She probably gets nasty looks in Rodeo Drive shops. Reese Witherspoon was very very good in Walk The Line. And she can sing!
Going for the Red State vote yet again tonight…. Reese wins! I’m very surprised.
She is giving one of the best speeches of the night… “I just want to do something that matters” — attributed to her grandmother. Ya gotta love Reese. The New Julia Roberts. And she’s married to him…. the bitch!
11:08 – Dustin Hoffman about to announce “Best Adapted Screenplay.” Brokeback’s best chance?? I was shocked, by the way to find out that Brokeback was only 28 pages.
11:13 – Best Original Screenplay…. Crash wins… another Clooney snub. Hee hee.
11:19 – Tom Hanks.. the man who I think started the gay Hollywood craze with Philadelphia announces Best Director…
Ang Lee wins for Brokeback…. another smack at Clooney.
11:22 – Jack Nicholson rounds it out to announce Best Picture. Again, smart of Hollywood to play to Middle America. Everyone loves Jack.
And the winner is…
Hollywood seems only capable of lip service to the gay community?? Discuss among yourselves. Brokeback is shut out of the big awards except for Best Director and Adapted Screenplay.
But most importantly…. Clooney goes home empty. Maybe he can give Mrs. Garrett a call for some consoling.
11:29PM – The Academy Awards ends at least 30 minutes earlier than I can remember. We think John Stewart did a great job.
Final thought for the night… where were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?
I’ll leave this posting up for additional comments and hopefully Dan will resolve his computer issues and comment or update later.
Good night and thank God (ALAACMDW) the Oscars are over with no trashing of our country, this nation’s President or its military heroes. Has Hollywood learned something?