A number of you emailed or commented to help me get out of my funk over the past month or so. I greatly appreciate your words of encouragement. Here is an email that I found especially uplifting.
I’m sorry to read in your blog that you’ve been “in a funk” lately, so I thought I’d send you a note to let you know how helpful GayPatriot has been to me, and to thank you and Dan for your blog.
I am 47 years old and live in a small in rural Canada, and I teach at a nearby high school. I have been deep in the closet for my entire adult life, and had been trying to lead a “normal” heterosexual life and hiding my real identity, even from myself (fortunately, I never married, despite the opportunity to do so). This all came to an end in January when I saw Brokeback Mountain it was like a dam burst and after a period of severe depression, I came out to some of my immediate family and to my close friends. I feel much better now, although I’m not out at work (the community where I teach is very rural and “traditional” and a lot of people automatically equate gay teachers with pedophiles) or to my parents. I realize that it’s a long process, but I’ve taken the first steps.
One of the main obstacles to my coming out, even to myself, was that I am by nature a conservative, and am a card-carrying member of the Conservative Party of Canada (more or less equivalent to the Republicans in the U.S. and currently the federal governing party here). I follow U.S. politics fanatically, and I admire President Bush (which is not a popular position in Canada, believe me). In my mind, I thought being a conservative and being gay were mutually exclusive; I didn’t feel like I fit in to the “conservative family” here, since there are elements of the federal party which are very hostile to homosexuals. I didn’t feel like I identified with “gay culture” either, which in my mind I equated with flamboyant in-your-face Pride Parades and TV shows Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I just wasn’t like that, so I must not be gay, right? It was a real problem for me.
When I came out, I did a lot of research. I read Bruce Bawer’s A Place At The Table and I discovered websites like Independent Gay Forum and blogs like GayPatriot. I even found a few gay conservative bloggers right here in Canada. Wow! There really are conservative homosexuals out there! I’m not the only one!
Your blog has been a big help, and if it helps pull you out of your funk, I would like you to know that I check your blog daily to experience being part of a bigger community of gay conservatives that helps with the downside of living in rural isolation out here. Keep it up – we need it.
Thanks Eric!! We need you too!!
**UPDATE: There were some technical problems with this original posting so I’ve reposted it.**