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Poor Zarqawi

June 9, 2006 by GayPatriotWest

He just found out that all 72 virgins have to remain virgins through all eternity.

Filed Under: War On Terror

Comments

  1. bird dog says

    June 9, 2006 at 4:29 pm - June 9, 2006

    Wrong. Truth is, via an unfortunate mistranslation from ancient Arabic, they find they get ONE 72 year-old virgin.

  2. Bill says

    June 9, 2006 at 5:43 pm - June 9, 2006

    No, That’s not it……he found out they were sheep.

  3. curtis kreutzberg says

    June 9, 2006 at 6:14 pm - June 9, 2006

    Nah, they’re all really horny, they’re just all Helen Thomas clones.

  4. Trace Phelps says

    June 9, 2006 at 6:33 pm - June 9, 2006

    You all have it wrong! This just came into my e-mail:

    Zarqawi had just come to when a ghostly figure looking a lot like George Washington slugged him and knocked him out. When he regained consciousness he tried to sit up but was whacked over the head with a club by a ghostly figure looking a lot like Patrick Henry. Still again he came to only to face a ghostly figure looking a lot like Robert E. Lee, sabre in hand. Zarqawi took off running. screaming, “Oh my Allah, it’s not 72 virgins, it’s 72 Virginians!’

  5. sonicfrog says

    June 9, 2006 at 10:12 pm - June 9, 2006

    He was dissapionted when he found out it was 72 Norwegians!

  6. sonicfrog says

    June 9, 2006 at 10:17 pm - June 9, 2006

    Or how ’bout this. The only way you can be a virgin in heaven is to die a virgin here on Earth. You remain a virgin on Earth if you’re hideously ulgy. So I’m afraid Zarqawi’s version of heaven may in fact be hell for the rest of us!

  7. Calarato says

    June 10, 2006 at 10:27 am - June 10, 2006

    Folks, courtesy of Iowahawk, the afterlife report from Zarqawi himself is: here

  8. the friendly grizzly says

    June 11, 2006 at 3:23 am - June 11, 2006

    Perhaps the 72 virgins all look like Helen Thomas or Madeline Albright?

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