Gay Patriot Header Image

Summer Night in Charlotte

Posted by Bruce Carroll at 10:31 pm - June 22, 2006.
Filed under: Living In Red State America,Photoblogging

Some recent photos of the Patriot Household.  It is going to be a hot one this weekend!  (Global warming, of course!)

house2.jpg
  
house1.jpg

-Bruce (GayPatriot)

A Message To PatriotPartnerDad

Posted by Bruce Carroll at 10:02 pm - June 22, 2006.
Filed under: Dogs,Photoblogging

saxby1.jpgUm….Dad…. I’m really sorry about the whole nose injury thing on Saturday.  You know I just get excited when you play with me.  I don’t get to see you a lot…..so I just get all jumpy and love to bite on your face.

Anyway, I hope you are doing okay in California.  OtherDad took me to the doggie daycare today.  I can’t wait to see you both again next weekend.  OtherDad told me Grandma is coming.  That means more food for me!

Well, this has taken me a while to write since it is hard to type with my paws.  So I think I’ll just relax now and look for some food scraps on the floor.  Or maybe I’ll just go to sleep.

saxby.jpg

I miss you Dad!

-Saxby (PatriotPooch)

Fifteen Ways To Avoid A Good Southern Ass Whuppin

Posted by Bruce Carroll at 9:13 pm - June 22, 2006.
Filed under: Living In Red State America,Post 9-11 America

(Note: This came to me from “The Party Crasher” in New York City…. but he’s still a Georgia Boy at heart!)

Fifteen Ways To Avoid A Good Southern Ass Whuppin – (Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And Northeastern Urbanites)

1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It’s just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know.  If you confuse them, they’ll kick your ass.

2) Don’t laugh at our Southern names (Merlene, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Laura Jo Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, Perky, Becky Sue, etc.). Or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here.  Down here it’s called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever-  it’s still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we’ll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don’t care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we’ll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we’ll kick your ass.

8) Don’t order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended – with gravy. And don’t EVER put sugar on your grits, or we’ll kick your ass.

9) Don’t fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern shitholes like Detroit, Chicago , and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying,  and that’s all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we’ll kick your ass.

12) Don’t complain that the South is dirty and polluted.  None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we’ll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don’t ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they’ll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air, and we’ll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked).  You’re lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box.. . . Minus your ass.

Yeehaw!

-Bruce (GayPatriot)

House Democrats’ Disunity & Their “Unimaginative” Agenda

Posted by GayPatriotWest at 4:41 pm - June 22, 2006.
Filed under: 2006 Elections,Bush-hatred,National Politics

If it were not for the intense animosity Democratic congressional leaders (and prospective committee chairs) harbored for the President of the United States, I would not be so concerned about a Democratic takeover of Congress. While there have been signs of improvement in the Republican caucus in recent days, it still has not fully embraced the Reaganite agenda of The Contract with America, the series of policy proposals which helped the GOP win a majority in Congress in 1994.

Perhaps, a term in the minority might remind them of the limited government principles which animated the Gipper’s policies, still define much Republican rhetoric and inspired rank-and-file Republicans for over a quarter-century. But, given the Bush-hatred which animates the Democrats, it seems clear they would use their majority not to govern, but to obstruct.

Indeed, this past week has provided much evidence that if the Democrats took control of Congress this fall, they would have a hard time uniting around any legislative priorities. On Friday, House Democrats failed to unite in opposition to a resolution opposing setting a date for “withdrawal or redeployment” of our troops in Iraq. Today, Senate Democrats showed a similar division. While Democrats did present their “New Directions” agenda, even liberal Washington Post columnist David Broder found it to be “as meager as it was unimaginative

While House Republicans in 1994 offered a comprehensive proposal with draft legislation, the Democrat’s “New Direction for America” is nothing more than a campaign flyer offering broad policy goals rather than specific means to accomplish those goals. A full half (one-page of a two-page document (available here)) is devoted to attacks on President Bush. That animosity seems to be what’s really animating congressional Democrats.

(more…)