As I work on an essay for my grad program on some of the mythological elements in The Lord of the Rings, Hugh Hewitt is running a contest asking “which American blogger is which LOTR character.” I’ve had fun playing with this for the past few days and here are my answers:
Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs as Merry. Jovial, but also a tenacious fighter for what is right. (Gateway Pundit also qualifies as Merry figure.)
Roger Simon is King Théoden of Rohan, a wise elder, whom reality (9/11 for Roger as Saruman’s attacks for the King) knocked out of his stupor. (Roger voted for Gore in 2000.)
Instapundit as Elrond, wise about so many things.
Captain Ed of Captain’s Quarter’s as Gimli, the dwarf of the book, not the movie. Full of common sense and eager to fight for what is right.
Victor Davis Hanson as Gandalf, possessing the wisdom of the ages.
Michelle Malkin and Tammy Bruce as Éowyn, a courageous woman who championed those she loved.
Such mibloggers as Austin Bay, Belmont Club, Black Five and Mudville Gazette embody the qualities of Eomer, Erkenbrand and Prince Imrahil, warriors of Rohan and Gondor, who boldly lead their troops against the forces of the enemy. And Uncle Jimbo of Military Matters as Faramir.
Powerline as the Dúnedain, great scholars and the leaders of the Men of the West.
The Anchoress as Galadriel, a wise woman with a wisdom more spiritual than martial. (If Peggy were a blogger, she would also be a fitting Galadriel.)
While other bloggers suggested Andrew Sullivan as Denethor, I believe the more appropriate comparison would be to Saruman. Coming to Middle-Earth in the early centuries of the Third Age, this wise wizard was head of once head of his order, the Istari, dispatched form the Undying Lands to endure, as Tolkien wrote in Unfinished Tales of Numenor and Middle-Earth, “of free will the pangs of exile and the deceits of Sauron they might redress the evils of that time.”
For much of the time (many centuries) after his arrival in Middle-Earth, Saruman waged the good fight against the Dark Lord just as Andrew once stood strongly against the evils of our time. It was only the decades immediately preceding the narrative (i.e., the time in which the Lord of the Rings took place) that Saruman began to turn.
Saruman’s Elvish name Curunír means “Man of Skill.” Andrew has great skill as a writer and debater. And just as Saruman fell because he became obsessed with the Ring, so Andrew fell because of a similar obsession.
UPDATE: The Anchoress, who, I believe, embodies Galadriel’s feminine wisdom, weighs in with her own selectons and links to the Lord of the Rings Character Test. I ended up as Celeborn, spouse to Galadriel who, the movie notwithstanding, remains behind in Middle-Earth into the Fourth Age. He would be the Last of the Eldar to depart for the Undying Lands.
UP-UPDATE: The Malcontent‘s Robbie is clearly Pippin. Those who read his blog will understand.
UP-UP-UPDATE: In the comments, some have criticized my choice of Andrew as Saruman. As I acknowledge in Comment #14, they raise some valuable points. While both are wise and suffer from an obsession, Andrew certainly has not gone as far over to the dark side as had Saruman. It seems those who compare Sullivan to Denethor may be closer to the mark.
Does this mean we can’t call him Adriana Sullington anymore?
That is the nerdiest thing ever…and not in the hot-nerd way.
Hot-nerd? Oxymoron alert!
Who is Josh Marshall? Maybe wormtongue? The “moderate” democrat blogger as some wish to know him who makes a reasoned post from time to time to break up the steady stream of Aragorn Derangement Syndrome?
And here I thought that Andrew might qualify as Gollum.
Maybe that should be David Brock.
Nancy Pelosi makes the best Gollum both in looks as well as outlook but since she doesn’t blog (or work for a living) perhaps we’ll just use the standard Kos for that role.
No, the ultimate Gollum is Markos Moulitsas and the members of DailyKos and MyDD are definitely Orcs.
Saruman who was once good, actually turned evil, wicked and knowingly malicious.
Andrew Sullivan, though you may not agree with him (and sometimes I do not) is none of the above.
It was a cheap shot.
At the very least, Andrew puts a great amount of thought into what he is writing about, and even if one does not agree with his conclusions I believe that he comes to those conclusions from a point of integrity.
You have done Mr. Tolkien a disservice.
thanks for the great list of people who will be out of work and begging for spare change in a years time.
Oh silly you, lester. Most of those people aren’t making a dime now off of blogging unless they are being supported by a politician’s coffers (*cough* KOS *cough*)
Hewitt’s a jackass, of course, but why not broaden it out a bit? How about extending the question to–say–Dr. Strangelovian characters?
LotR is cute escapism–which is probably why Hewitt was directed to that. For those of us who grew up in the cold war era of the 1950s and 1960s, Dr. Strangelove hits a bit closer to home–regardless of how well LotR was translated to the screen using blue-screen CGI techniques. And Strangelove a bit more real than the movie fantasies of LotR.
Money quote from Strangelove:
President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers, to George C. Scott as Gen. ‘Buck’ Turgidson and Peter Bull playing the Russian ambassador, after the American B52s had been sent to attack Russia): Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!.
It was absolutely hilarious.
At the very least, Andrew puts a great amount of thought into what he is writing about
Some of the time that’s true. The rest of the time he’s driven by knee-jerk emotion or the buttkissing of the latest Moby, er, “email of the day”.
Your comparison of Andrew to Saruman is unfair. Saruman’s obsession was with obtaining power over others. Andrew shows no signs of megalomania beyond that which is normal for any media figure. He has also never back-tracked in his resolve against terrorism AKA “against the evils of our time”. Indeed he often points out instances of terrorism far more often than this blog does. He has also never back-tracked on his basic support for invading Iraq, although he thinks he was wrong to trust this President to carry it out competently. And many people agree with his positions, myself included. He has his followers.
Therefore a more apt comparison would be to Theoden. He had his own ideas about fighting Evil than others did. And some of those ideas were very unpopular, and (from your point of view) turned out to be wrong.
GPW, you and much of the right-wing blog-group-think believe that Andrew’s disapproval of Bush is solely because of the gay marriage issue. But that is a point of view, not a fact. And I think its one you should start reconsider, especially given the ever-growing numbers of dissenters among the ranks of conservatives that have become disenchanted with Bush.
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And I nominate Karl Rove for role of Wormtongue. (of course!)
Haha. Wow, Panties Media proving all by itself that it is populated by obsessive dorks with no social lives. Chukles Johnson is a perfect Merry – he was the dim-witted one.
Those who criticize my choice of Andrew as Saruman raise some very valuable points. While both are wise and suffer from an obsession, Andrew certainly has not gone as far over to the dark side as had Saruman. It seems those who compared him to Denethor may have been closer to the mark.
Patrick, let me repeat again, it is not merely Andrew’s criticism of the president, but it is the manner of his criticism. It has becoming increasingly angry and unhinged.
I recognize that there are many conservatives who have become disenchanted with the president, but the serious conservative critics use arguments that differ greatly from the rhetoric of the Angry Left. Since 02/2404 when the president came out in favor of the Federal Marriage Amendment, Andrew’s rhetoric increasingly resembles that of the Angry Left. And that’s just not conservative.
Actually, wait. Chuckles Johnson more resembles Frank Burns from M*A*S*H.
And a good evening to you, Deafie.
I am assuming this is a joke, or were you drinking last night?
Drinking or not, I was pleased to be included in some weighty company.
Cordially,
Uncle J
Then I think you must also then admit that neither Michelle Malkin or Hugh Hewitt are “conservative” as their rhetoric has often been more vitriolic and unhinged than Andrew’s ever has.
While both are wise and suffer from an obsession, Andrew certainly has not gone as far over to the dark side as had Saruman. It seems those who compare Sullivan to Denethor may be closer to the mark.
Well … only if he’d rather cling to his obsession to the point where it drives him to his own death. Saruman was dogged enough to drive others to put him out of his misery.
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Hey, how dare you apply your rules uniformly, GP? 😉
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when will this blog re-name itself MoreOnAndrewSullivan?
“The Angry Left”? So this blog now engages in characterizations not unlike Lord of the Rings or Dungeons and Dragons? LOL. The Righteous Right? Can we use that? What kind of silliness is this, after all?