“Five years have past” wrote William Wordsworth in one of my favorite poems, “five summers with the length/Of five long winters” as he revisited the banks of the Wye a few miles above Tintern Abbey. And I multiply his five by five as I return to Cincinnati for my twenty-fifth high school reunion.
To be sure, unlike that great Romantic, I have returned multiple times to the subject of my writing. And my memories of my high school years aren’t nearly as sweet as were his of the rugged riparian region. Indeed, as recently as ten days ago, I was not planning on returning. But, a call from a classmate prompted me to reconsider my decision and realizing that a trip to the city of my birth would also afford me the occasion to see three of the PatriotNiecesWest, one of whom joined me for breakfast this morning — and to see as well the infant PatriotNephewWest (whom I am now watching). Just seeing these two was well worth the increased price of buying a plane ticket so close to my departure — and the aggravation of a red-eye flight from Los Angeles.
As I prepare to join my classmates tonight for our first event of the weekend, I reflect on the changes of the past twenty-five years. I knew some of the people I will see tonight in my earliest childhood, having started at this private school when I was in kindergarten. One man I have seen occasionally over the years. Another woman I haven’t seen in a quarter-century. And yet I had seen her nearly every day from when we were five years old until I graduated from high school. I remember when she came over to my house when I was five or six; everyone says that we made such a cute couple.
I am certain tonight that I will bring up this blog and those who don’t already will know I am gay. I was certainly aware of my feelings for men when I was in high school, but I had not then made the link between those feelings and the word “gay.” The world has changed so much since then.
I recall the last time I was in the Buckeye State, six months ago, when I returned to celebrate Passover with my family — and to speak to my oldest nephew’s high school, presenting a conservative view of gay rights. It struck me then, as it strikes me again today, how meaningful was that talk exactly twenty-five years after my own senior year.
At my nephew’s high school, there was something unheard-of when I was a teenager, a school Gay-Straight Alliance with an openly gay teacher as faculty advisor. Not only did I attract a standing-room only crowd, but I learned later that even the high school principal had come to hear me speak. What moved me more than anything was that the second eldest PatriotNephewWest, a very straight young man, not only came to hear his gay uncle speak,* but had brought along his best friend. It didn’t phase him that he had a gay uncle.
So has America changed — and changed for the better — in the twenty-five years since I graduated from high school. Instead of trying to explain away their feelings (as did I), gay teenagers can begin exploring their sexuality at the same time as do their straight peers. And let us hope that such exploration includes a moral education as well as the liberation of coming to terms with one’s own feelings.
What I learned when I returned to the Buckeye State this past spring is that today’s teens, unlike those from when I was in high school, are more accepting of their gay peers. This current social environment makes it possible that a young person coming to terms with his attraction to members of his own gender no longer feel ashamed of his attraction. While that attraction may distinguish him from his peers, acknowledging it need not make him a pariah. And young straight people don’t distance themselves from gay relatives as once they did.
Something to celebrate as I prepare for my own twenty-fifth reunion.
Bear in mind that these changes have taken place in a period when Republicans served in the White House for all but eight years. While my party certainly is less pro-gay than the Democratic, this gradual social progress has continued despite its political prominence. Something to ponder as we look forward to the next twenty-five years. It is not politics, but from the good will of the American people and our private institutions where we can expect to see the greatest social improvement.
-B. Daniel Blatt (GayPatriotWest@aol.com)
*Unlike his older brother, this nephew was not a member of the school’s conservative club sponsoring the lecture.
GPW, coming from the liberal end, I just want to say that this post was particularly good. What a great expression of your situation/life/feelings independent of our often clashing political views. Hope the evneing turned out well.
Yes, things are better for young gay people, but not as rosy a picture as you paint.
Thanks for the good word, Mike, it did turn out well, very well indeed.
On a side note:
A thought occurs. If you change your handle, how are you going to refer to family members in your posts?
Dan, I really enjoyed this post and am glad you enjoyed Friday night’s reunion event. Your best writing is produced in posts like this rather than in those dealing with partisan politics.
One minor quibble, GPW…..
It didn’t phase him that he had a gay uncle.
I think you meant “faze”.
“Phase” is what the moon has and Shadowcat does. 🙂
This is a very moving story, without a doubt. Things have improved.
Unfortunately, between the large number of teens who sneeringly use “that’s so gay”, the large number of gay teens who continue to say they are harrassed in school, and the constant efforts to curtail the gay-straight alliances that you mentioned, it’s hard to be happy about what gays are going through in school, or what the future holds for them.
I enjoyed reading this. I needed a good chuckle.
“It is not politics, but from the good will of the American people and our private institutions where we can expect to see the greatest social improvement.”
You hit the nail on the head. There is something about the American spirit that is propelling these social changes. Political parties are about power, not the individual. That comes from our daily lives, and our personal interactions.
America is a wonderful country worth celebrating. Dan, if you can look back 25 years and see these positive changes in your life, and in the collective life of our country – than you are a lucky man indeed.
“my party certainly is less pro-gay than the Democratic”
!
BTW Dan, I was frankly surprised that you are old enough to be having a 25th reunion.
Thanks, Ian–I think this the first time I have given a clue as to my age on this blog!
Oh and, to our readers. Ian has met me. 🙂
#12: “Ian has met me.”
And we both survived the encounter. 😉 Actually we had a very enjoyable and interesting discussion.
Yes, we did. Interesting and enjoyable. 🙂
That’s, actually, nice to hear from you two. 🙂 🙂
monty