Avoiding “Connection Withdrawal” When Lacking Internet Access
At my high school reunion this past weekend, I learned that a classmate of mine had, like me, experienced the crash of his computer and like me, was forced to go without for several days. He observed that he experienced a kind of “withdrawal” while his computer was in the shop.
I too experienced such withdrawal, a feeling akin to a bout of depression, in the days between my computer crashing and my renting one from the shop repairing this one. And while I felt better when I got a rental, I was not able to use it in my apartment until I finally entered the twenty-first century and had high-speed access installed.
It’s odd how quickly we have become dependent on such technology. For my first five years out of college, I didn’t even have a home computer. For the next five years, when I had a computer, I didn’t have e-mail. And when I finally got e-mail, I did not at first (for three years) have full access to the web.
In that period, I seemed to manage just fine without such ready connections at home to the rest of the world. As did many other Americans. As do people today around the world who still lack Internet access.
And while having easy access to news, information and others who are similarly wired is certainly a boon, I wonder what we have lost by such “virtual” connections. Do we spend less time reading and reflecting than we might once have? Does such ready connection at home discourage us from going out and making real connections in the world?
In those days a few weeks ago, when I did not have a computer — or when I had a computer and lacked internet access — I occasionally experienced feelings akin to bouts of depression. Yet, in the days before I had a computer, I was much better able to deal with this lack of ready, virtual connection. Others have experienced such “difficulties” as well. My high school classmate described this as withdrawal.
Let me hope that I remain aware of what I experienced in those days when I lacked Internet access as a reminder of how dependent I had become on virtual connections. Aware of the changes this medium has wrought, we might do more to find others means of connecting to the world. And to take more time to look within and discover the power — and the beauty — of our own individual passions.
- B. Daniel Blatt (GayPatriotWest@aol.com)
UPDATE (10-17-06 @ 10:44 PM PST): Just found this via The Corner: “The United States could be rife with Internet addicts as clinically ill as alcoholics, an unprecedented study released suggested.” So, maybe my classmate did go through withdrawal. Well, after reading that article, I realize I better log off!
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“…we might do more to find others means of connecting to the world. And to take more time to look within and discover the power — and the beauty — of our own individual passions.”
Oh, Daniel Darling – you’re a man after Vera’s own heart!
Vera hates these new technologies.
Nothing like hand cranked Victrola with its brass horn playing Rudy Valle records in the corner of the Vera’s ballroom – as opposed to ipods streaming digital music via ‘buds’ directly into some kid’s brain. Ugh.
Suddenly, everyone under the age of 30 has wires coming out of their head. All those heads shaking and silent lips mouthing lyrics as they twitch in time to the music – it’s like watching people with shell shock – only shell shock victims have more personality.
As bad as these ipods are – they’re not the worst.
The worst would have to be those slim little bundle of wires and chips that send out instant messages.
Instant messages? Just the name alone is enough to send a shiver down Vera’s osteoporosis spine! ‘Instant’ – as in ‘coffee’ – and we all know how delicious that is.
Long gone are the days of hand written notes on cream colored paper, begging a lover’s forgiveness for some insensitivity or perhaps the chance for a secret rendezvous. Now “what R U wearing?” and “CU L8R!” are what pass for as communication. Koko the gorilla has a larger vocabulary than that. And this is progress? Even the recent stories of young women found locked up in some psycho’s dungeon or kidnapped by her ‘pro-choice’ parents for an abortion, didn’t have the Hollywood ending of the cavalry riding to the rescue or Lassie frantically barking out that little Timmy fell down the abandoned well – these girls sent out instant messages to their buddy lists. Where’s the chivalry in that? Where’s the adventure in being saved by some heroic, handsome….instant message?
It may make things faster but Vera would argue it doesn’t make them better.
Congressman Foley may have been enticed by the monosyllable grunts of reply from his ether-net Romeo, but nothing can match the stolen glimpses and blushed cheeks of a flirtatious personal encounter. From awkward body language to stammering, stuttering replies, it’s all about observing the other person…in person. It’s a sad day indeed for romantics everywhere when the best thing a potential suitor can say for a possible partner is “gee, she’s a good speller” or “I love his screen name”.
Vera isn’t proposing the return of the carrier pigeon, but there is something of value being lost in exchange for expediency. Immediacy isn’t intimacy – and one shouldn’t confuse the two, least you know too much – and not enough – at the same time.
Historians always blame the death of romanticism on feminism: no man could romanticize a woman who could fire him. Vera blames the death of romanticism on Bill Gates: No woman can romanticize a man who’d rather IM her.
Cheers Darling!
Comment by Vera Charles — October 17, 2006 @ 8:27 pm - October 17, 2006
It’s not surprising that anyone who has become accustomed to “virtual connections” would go through withdrawl when that mode of interaction was denied them. I think it’s no different with any new information/communication technology be it the printed page, the telegraph, radio, the telephone, television or yes, the Internet, email, and IM’s. While we can get by without them, it’s no longer comfortable to do so. And it’s been that way for centuries. As for those who go through life isolated by their earbuds, be my guest; just spare me exposure to your loud conversations with your Borg-like Bluetooth headset.
Comment by Ian — October 17, 2006 @ 11:42 pm - October 17, 2006
There is a solution to computer withdraw…
Buy more than one computer and a generator for if the power ever goes out.
Comment by Chase — October 18, 2006 @ 12:31 am - October 18, 2006
I liked this post alot, GPW. I worked from hom for the past year after moving to a new state, practically living on the computer because of that, and as such don’t have too many friends in my new location. My partner was out of town this weekend and I realized just how quiet it is, and that I didn’t really have anyone to call to hang out with. So I’m right with you – I think maybe we all need to back off some and make some better inter-personal connections.
Comment by Mike — October 18, 2006 @ 10:28 am - October 18, 2006
“The unexamined life is not worth living” (A 38a) Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, Christians and even the random but misplaced agnostic knows the truth in your last few posts, Daniel.
The only ones who don’t are the secular atheists who see ANY examination as part of a conspiracy by society to control their lives, their urges, their insular dementia.
Comment by Michigan-Matt — October 18, 2006 @ 10:44 am - October 18, 2006
Yes for me the internet is an addiction, my kids laughed at me a few months ago when the dsl line was down and I was running off to an internet cafe for my fix.
I’ve found it to be an amazing tool to reconnect with old friends, many who were completely lost to me. And to make new friends, that I never would have found any other way.
Of course I make a big effort to actually meet and spend time with these people in real life. Or if they are on the other side of the country or world, to pick up the phone and have a live conversation.
Like anything else in life – moderation that is the key.
Comment by Leah — October 18, 2006 @ 12:09 pm - October 18, 2006