Since every single hurricane forecast for the past two years has been completely wrong…. I’m going to appeal to our favorite (and most sinister) villain of our times: Global Warming (his black cape flowing behind).
Please… please, Global Warming. Do what you can to steer Tropical Storm Dean to the Carolinas. No need for Category Five or anything like that. But damn, we need the rain. All of our hurricane forecasters said that, because of you, we’d be drenched in hurricanes by now… and perhaps life as we know it would be over. So give us some slack in our dry weather condition, would ya?
And Pat Robertson.. listen here: You just stay out of this! This is between me and Global Warming. None of your fancy hurricane-deflecting tricks, you hear? I just simply do not want to hear another weatherprop person on my TV say the word “drought” anymore!
[Related Story: Red Faces at NASA Over Climate Change Blunder. According to the figures released last week, four of America’s 10 warmest years are now in the 1930s, during the Dust Bowl era. Just three years from the past decade remain among the top 10, with 2001 having fallen out entirely. Oh…just an inconvenient truth.]