One of the reasons I have posted a number of pieces on the Folsom Street Fair (this being the third) is that I believe it provides gay people an opportunity to stand up against some of the extreme behavior in our community and affirm certain basic values. And in affirming those values, we help show how similar our lives — and our hopes — are to those of our straight peers.
Not only that, in criticizing extremes in our community, we take on other extremes, those anti-gay social conservatives who attempt to define all gay people by the most outlandish behavior in our community. An action similar to the idea Albert Camus described as “the ‘no’ which affirms” in his book, The Rebel.
Some have pointed out the particular story I referenced in my first post was two years old. Even Michelle Malkin noted as much in the piece which alerted me to the issue, writing that the twin toddlers dressed in pet collars by their gay male parents was taken at the “2005 fair.” While that picture may be two years old, in a subsequent post, Michelle included a screen capture from the fair’s web-page about this year’s festivities, noting the they “don’t have age restrictions” at the fair.
In denouncing the absence of age restrictions, gay leaders could affirm the value that certain things are not appropriate for children. Affirming a value by saying “no” to something which violates it.
They could also affirm a value by providing examples of those who affirm in it in their everyday lives.
In some ways, the Bush White House has done a better job of showing the similarity between gay parents and straight parents. The White House press office issued nearly identical press releases announcing the births of the Vice President’s three grandsons, all born since he took office, the last one, Samuel David Cheney, being the son of Mary Cheney and her partner Heather Poe, the elder two, the sons of Mary’s sister Liz. (Releases for Mary’s son, here and for Liz’s sons, here and here.)
Note that in each of the three pictures, we see the Vice President and his wife Lynne, with captions identifying the baby’s parents. While some gay bloggers groused that the White House didn’t include a picture of Sam’s lesbian parents, no straight bloggers groused that the White House didn’t include a picture of his cousins’ straight parents when they were born.
The White House treats the birth of a child to the Vice President’s lesbian daughter the same as it treats the birth of a child to the Vice President’s straight daughter.
That’s a pretty good way to promote a positive image of gay parenting.
If gay leaders are truly concerned about improving the public image of the gay community rather than advancing a partisan agenda, they should praise parents like Vice President and Mrs. Cheney who recognize that their lesbian daughter is just as capable of raising a child as their straight offspring.
Yet, it seems to be too much for gay organizations to praise a conservative Vice President. Just as it seems too much for them to criticize a gay organization which allows kids to attend a festival featuring sexually explicit behavior.
And the death wishes for the child of a lesbian couple begin in
3
2
1
…..
If the gay community wants to change the hearts and minds of those opposed to gay marriage taking their children to bondage fetish festivals is NOT the way to do it. While some people are simply (and unfortunately) anti-gay, there are others who are not but do believe that it is best for a child to be raised by a man and woman.
I think there needs to be a re-assessment of parenting generally in this country. Yes, gay parents exposing their children to an open-air fetish orgy is depraved, appalling, and should be treated criminally. But it’s also just an extreme symptom of a culture in which parental dysfunction is rampant; be it mothers in Austin who delight in dressing their pre-teen daughters like whores, the deaf lesbian couple who deliberately handicapped their daughter, or any number of parents who treat their kids as pals, trophies, political statements, or fashion accessories.
But I think GP has the right diagnosis. First, step back from the brink and make it clear what is unacceptable, punish those who do the unacceptable, and tighten the boundaries of what is acceptable. Second, praise examples of good parenting and praise people who actually do a good job at it and take it seriously.
“the deaf lesbian couple who deliberately handicapped their daughter” ?
ILC: Indeed.
I have never been to the Fulsom Street Fair, East or West so I have only a vague idea of what goes on there. I don’t think anyone should bring their kids. I also think the only reason no one ever said you couldn’t bring your kids is that it never occurred to anyone that anyone actually would.
Next year there should be a rule. It’s a shame there have to be policies about things that ought to be common sense.
But seriously, you can’t make a point about gay parents based on one couple’s bad judgement. That would be like calling into question all heterosexual moms because one of them left her baby in the car in the heat for too long. That was a horrible thing but certainly not representative of mom’s as a whole. Plenty of straight people are bad parents too. And plenty of gay parents are very good parents indeed.
Zombie has pictures from this year’s FSF Bacchanal. I didn’t look. Are there any children present this time?
That would be like calling into question all heterosexual moms because one of them left her baby in the car in the heat for too long. That was a horrible thing but certainly not representative of mom’s as a whole.
It would be fair to criticize them if the heterosexuality community generally defended the practice of leaving kids in the heat as part of their culture, and denounced people who criticized neglectful or abusive parents as “intolerant” and “bigoted.”
Houndentenor in #8, yep, there are plenty of bad straight parents.
But, the presence of kids at this festival gives gay leaders an opportunity to affirm the values of good parenting–to show that they do not defend all conduct in our community, as many social conservatives seem to claim.
It’s a chance to promote good public relations. And gay leaders, alas, too afraid to take issue with anyone but Republicans, are passing up an easy opportunity to show how gay people’s attitudes toward parenting are similar to those of straight people.
And in ignoring the Cheneys, failing to show that one doesn’t need to be liberal to have a good attitude toward gay children.
Now you are going way to far – have the gay establishment say something positive about non-liberals?
I’d be happy if they just condemned the very bad behavior of the fringes of the gay community.
As to hetero parents being bad. Statistically there are many more of them, since many hetero’s become parents by accident. While gay men have to make a real choice of adoption or surrogate in order to become parents. Which is why it is all the more important for the establishment to chastise these ‘parents’. These people are ensuring that adoption and surrogate agencies will be more reluctant to deal with gay men.
The old saying is very true: all it takes is one rotten apple to ruin the bushel.
Actually, GP, rather than them affirm values of good parenting, I would say they need to state that the gay parents who did this are wrong.
[Well said. –GPW]
ND30–well said.
Perhaps I should have picked a different title. But that’s not always easy when you’re rushing to put a piece up in the wee hours of the morning.
OT, but still related to the subject of values:
GP and/or GPW – Could you do another post on Larry Craig? Today’s news from him is disgraceful.
He remains legally guilty. Any praise I have made of him, is and has always been conditional on his doing the right thing for the American people by removing himself from the public political stage.
OK – I bit and looked at the link VtK posted in #8. There’s a month’s worth of captionable pictures there. I can’t say I wasn’t warned. XXX on the street. Geez.
I guess being an adult doesn’t require any “restraint”, huh.
How in the world any city could sanction public displays like this is beyond my tiny midwestern mind. You’d get tossed into jail for this sort of stuff anywhere else. I thought the guy getting whipped just outside the SF Chronicle’s booth was rich.
Animalistic.
And parents who’d expose a child to this sort of stuff? Criminal. But these days, gay or straight, there are too many parents that don’t give a damn about their kids if it gets in the way of their “self expression”
What consenting adults do in privacy is up to them… but this is outrageous. I remember a story a few years ago about some Focus on the Family operatives “infiltrating” gay day at Disney or something. I thought “why waste the time? Just go to one of these festivals or a pride parade, easier yet, gay.com to get pics sure to stir up anti-gay fever.
And another thing… I’m not religious at all. But the blasphemous dildos are over the line. As others have observed, these idiots wouldn’t dare try to sell an “Allah Phallus” or a “Prophet Plug”.
But they should try.
it’s still loading on my browser, but I can tell that reporting this made Zombie uncomfortable.
Most of the pictures aren’t loading, but again, the ones that are are a step beyond what went on in parties I’ve been to, or hosted for that matter.
Frightens me that some of my peers want to be like these folks.
I don’t see why people don’t diavow the action, it’s a no brainer.
Though apparently in Cali, folks are in better shape than here.
Because opposing it would hurt people’s feelings for one, for another, you’d be a “fascist, bigot, Nazi dictator” if you told them “no”. In a city where, evidently, nobody has the balls to stand up to others, that’s what you wind up with.
#8
No. I don’t know what’s worse, the public sex or the fact that everyone in the pictures are butt fugly.
A few other notes,
I thought using shortening as lube was the worst thing you could do to yourself.
The guy with the kepi in the first oral photos, doesn’t he have an HRC tattoo on his right arm?
Sorry. You’d stand a better chance of getting me to go to FSF than you would serving me beer or food naked. Last time I got a beer from a naked person, the bottle smelled of bad tuna.
In a city where, evidently, nobody has the balls to stand up to others, that’s what you wind up with.
Pretty much.
I mean, in any other city where a manager of a health club knew that people were having sex in the steam room or shower, he or she would be well within their rights to have people arrested, much less shutting the place in question down until people learned to behave.
Here, he has to apologize and pathetically explain that his enforcing the law, his policies, and public health codes isn’t because he’s “sex-negative”.
The longer I live in this city, the more I understand why nine out of ten of its HIV infections are among gay men.
Unless you’re the military.
The longer I live in this city, the more I understand why nine out of ten of its HIV infections are among gay men.
I was thinking about my shortening comment back in #20. I think I remember something that you shouldn’t use it with condoms. However, in a city where you don’t use condoms……
BTW, wouldn’t it be safe to say that these are Dr. Spock’s kids?
The longer I live in this city, the more I understand why nine out of ten of its HIV infections are among gay men.
It’s because Ronald Reagan didn’t say the word ‘AIDS’ in public in a sufficiently timely manner, isn’t it?
Unfortunantly, even gay people don’t have to pass a test to be parents. You just have to have enough money. I’m a lesbian but I’m sick of what I see in the community. Sexual immorality abounds (yes it does) I’m not talking about what gender your partner is. The imorality lies with the same kind of parties you find is strait culture. Problem is, blatent sexuality is the sexuality of a “homosexual” (biblical deffinition) The sin of Sodom and Gamorah….(the people were screwing trees and children and animals, and wanted the angels)
This is not the morality of gay people. The common definition of homosexual is only 50 or so years old. These men are sick, I hope someone takes this child from them.
When I first saw that article, and still wonder today if these lame brain guys are still bringing these girls to this events like this, I wanted to knock some sense into them muy pronto. I love children and KNOW that this is NO place to have infants, young children or even teens, come to with naked men, masturbaters, or people having sex out in the open. Those standing by and allowing it to happen ought to be thrown in jail, and those of you in the gay community should be MORE THAN out-raged here. I’d almost bet my life on the fact that they’re still doing this, one so-called couple who have no right to raise anyone’s children if things like this are taking place. Get as mad at me as you choose, call me any name you want, but I’m more concerned for those girls (even if they are a few years older now), than I am for the men who’re raising them, because after this incident (7 years ago or not) I wouldn’t trust them to raise a pig.
I pray for them constantly since I’ve seen that picture, and other ‘children’ who ‘never’ wanted to attend the fair in the first place, but their ‘parents’ (or whatever you call them) made the children go along. Whether I’m babbling or not, this is beyond ridiculous, and those girls, and others like them will be in my prayers from now on.