GayPatriot

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Global Warming’s Plan To Destroy Humanity Revealed!

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*Cue sinister music*

*Global Warming, with dark cape flowing behind, enters from the left*

“DAMN THAT TED TURNER!”, exclaims Global Warming as the birds shriek and thunder rolls over the dark skies behind him.

We’ll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. — Ted Turner, April 1, 2008 on PBS’ “Charlie Rose Show.”

Global Warming continues to rant violently: “How the hell am I supposed to destroy Earth and all of mankind in 10 years when these frikkin morons like Al Gore and Ted Turner keep giving away my playbook? For crying out loud, the cannibalism thing was my Secret Weapon.”

“Damn Ted Turner…. Damn him to the Future Earth which will be worse than Hell!”

============

Whew, you don’t want to get on the bad side of Global Warming, do you?

-Bruce (GayPatriot)

Comments

  1. The simple fact that global temperatures were flat for a decade until ’07 and THAT winter a cold outlier that makes nonesense of ANY claim to ANY kind of "global warming" much less the calamaty fantasized by Prince Albert Gore. Okay, it’s now "climate change"… Yeah, we’ll get on constructing that giant thermostat post haste. GW is the great hoax of our day, therefore we MUST trust our fellow citizens, ultimately, to be sensible and amenable to FACTS. I trust that is so, I sure HOPE it is so but with even McCain grousing about carbon emissions… well, we may be a while sorting things out. In the meantime, if you believe in that claptrap there is only one practical solution. NUKES! Our atomic future is LONG overdue. If Al can help realize the dreams of yesteryear even at this late date it will all have been worth it.

  2. Considering that most of written "recorded history" and local oral history only goes back a few hundred years…which also happens to be the end of the Little Ice Age…I’m not very impressed by claims of unprecedented local melting leading to global catastrophe.Â

    The classical-period of Mediterannean civilization from Ancient Greece through the early Imperial Rome period was warmer than today without their coastlines being significantly higher than today’s.  And the polar bears obviously survived the warm period then and again a 100-years ago when the Vikings were farming in Greenalnd before the beginning of the Little Ice Age.  And no-one has any real evidence holistic and systematic knowledge of the Antarctic ice fields until the 20th-century…just isolated pin-pricks from core samples in a few places since Western Man didn’t even know it was there before Nat Palmer in the mid-19th century.

    The effects of Man are miniscule to the effects of one major volcanic-event, or a suble shift in just one major oceanic current…and those events have been happening for thousands of millennia and the polar bears survived….and Man survived too.

    The Earth’s climate has been a lot more variable both on a planetary and a continental-scale than most will admit.  Currents shift, volcanic activity drives atmospheric gas levels up or down..and affect planetary aldebo…affecting greenhouse effects.  plus ice sheets also vary the planetary aldebo as well.  And the Sun’s output isn’t a constant either as demonstated by the last Little Ice Age.

    I’m all for reasonable efforts at conservation and energy-independence…and cleaner air is a nice thing.  But Al Gore and Ted Turner can that their Kyoto "Hockey Stick" and shove it….

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albedo
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_ice_age
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermohaline_circulation
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Younger_Dryas

  5. Thank heavens for Ted Turner, Jane Fonda, Algore and all the useful idiots on the left. They are the "inconvenient truth" that sewer gas can not be disguised by lighting scented candles and singing psalms of praise  to "Puff the Magic Dragon" and his stoned offspring.

    I am selling "cannibalism offsets" for those who wish their posterity to survive and overcome. Send me $1,000 for a place on the list and a preview of details. (Rates for qualification will vary according to ability to pay.)

  8. Global warming, er, climate change is a hoax. It’s a boogeyman useful for controlling a gullible population.
    Ted Turner has a history of stupid and asinine comments going back years. Yet he’s a millionaire many times over. What a country.

  10. "enters from the left*"

    If GW is evil then most certainly he’s entering from the right.

    I imagine that the reaction from the right was probably about the same back when the book "Silent Spring" was published and ecology was all the rage and there were insane claims of impending doom in the near. And gov’t controls were introduced, probably with screams of communist, facist, anti-industry etc. all the things we hear now. But what happened – many rivers were cleaned up, toxic waste stopped flowing into them, air pollution was lowered, recycling became a common practic etc. I’m not saying it all happened because of those with the most extreme views, and there were/are some that go way to far. But at least the loonies got people thinking and many made changes in the way the lived in an attempt to help not hurt. Left alone would the industries have done it themselves? Over time perhaps yes. Would individuals have just woken up one day and thought "why don’t I walk, or ride my bike to work" or "or what can I reuse rather than throwing it out" Yeah, I suppose when things got really horrible.

    The same now, GW is popular, there’s money behind pushing the concept and the actual science is getting lost in the hype. But does it make sense to stomp your feet and yell "liar, liar"? Can anyone really so there’s no truth at all to what’s being said? It’s insane to think that how we live has no impact on our surroundings so why not put energy and money into finding out how much rather than simply denying it and condemning everyone who disagrees with you?

    GP Ed. Note — Dave, do you fear cannibalism in the next 10 years due to GW? That is what this post was about, although I do reserve the right to highlight the overblown claims of eco-extremists at any moment.

  12. Dave, our pollution problems of the past were quite real. We faced up to many of them and our lives are better for taking positive action. The cost to industry has been great, forcing much manufacturing to shift to lands where pollution abatement is not a cost. Then, the libs came along with Kyoto and gave India and China a complete pollution pass. Hello? Hello? Hello? Have I reached the party to whom I am speaking? You can not bewail the loss of manufacturing jobs while punishing your country and turning a blind eye toward those countries that are eating our lunch.

    We don’t do nuclear power. We don’t build refineries. We don’t open Anwar. We watch as China drills off our shores. Brilliant!

    Want to know what the most toxic small package on the road is? Can you say Prius? Rear end one of those suckers and check out what the hazardous waste clean up will cost you.

    A clean environment is nobody’s enemy. But if there is global warming, it is not because it is man made. That is a deceit that only a preening liberal could conceive. Stewardship of the earth is of major importance, but turning environmentalism into a religion is a sideshow for freaks, charlatans and misanthropes. I’m thinking Algore, here, who has been looking for adulation his entire life.

  13. No Bruce I don’t fear cannibalism in the next 10 years, and if I’m still here in the next 30 or 40 I won’t be much of a meal for anyone at all.  Does anyone really take Ted Turner seriously?Â

    "The cost to industry has been great, forcing much manufacturing to shift to lands where pollution abatement is not a cost."

    So in reality, while our lives may be better all the industry has done is shifted the damage to other areas.  One of the things I read often justifying the massive profits of some companies is that they will use the money for research and development.  What they did is research where they could get away with paying the least amount possible to the workers and where they could pour as much garbage into the air and water as they wanted and the profits get bigger.  So giving India and China a "pollution pass" is bad (which I agree with you on) but American companies basically crapping on the countries where they set up shop is ok because they were "suffering" from the extra costs associated with acting responsibly?

    "Then the libs came along"  yawn, back to that old refrain – libs are poopie and cause all the problems in the world. Some folks buy it, all it tells me is to take the rest of what you say with a grain of salt.  It’s too bad because I know you can do better.

    "it is not because it is man made"

    And you can prove that?  or is it so simply because some liberals have presented it as a problem?  Your response basically confirms that some would rather get caught up in the BS of attacking the messenger than to actually support a rational scientific look at the issue.  Â

    There’s that word again "rational".  Over and over I’m told conservatism is based on logic and rational thinking.  So where is it?

  14. Dave, industry is your friend. Industry has to manage costs. Pollution abatement (good) is an extra cost (bad) and not dealing aggressively with pollution allows China to compete by producing equal quality as lower cost. Add the long list of low wages, no social security costs, no OSHA rules, no unions, no heath insurance, etc. and more and more manufacturing is drawn by the huge China magnet. It is not the industry that is to blame, it is the cost to the consumer that drives the issue. Then, some loopy idea comes along that says the developed world should tax itself even more heavily while China and India get a pass. China and India are knee deep in pollution and it is getting worse by the day. What is that program?

    The scientific method is the definition of science. Through the application of the steps in the scientific method, facts are discovered and become a key part of further investigations in the scientific measure. When a number of scientists get together and form a group opinion based on what they think is going to happen, they are not using the scientific method. They are acting like the flat earth society. They have eschewed the rational approach of science for the shortcut of science politics. (Just really confuse the issue, the scientific theory of how the atom works has been challenged by a new theory that could make Einstein  the father of 100 years of scientific theory mischief. I would include Darwin in this group of theorists who guide a huge search, but fail to develop fact.)

  16. Further, it’s pretty funny how we’re (allegedly) too broke to fight Islamo-fascism, but we can somehow scrape up billions to bestow upon farmers and ethanol producers.

    And how is it that we can roll back tax breaks for all oil companies except PDVSA’s (read: Chavez’s) Citgo????

    How is it that "fools" like Ed Markey, who don’t do a damn thing to get gasoline on the market, "demand" that oil companies do what he wants them to do with THEIR MONEY????

  17. The facts that RED TED TURNER was brainwashing kids with CAPTIAN PLANET,NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC EXPLORER,NETWORK EARTH plus other propeganda comes as no surprise since he was once married to HANOI JANE and he has given money to various eco-freaks while he mines and logs his property and even had a hill bulldozed so he could view a distent mountian range