I’m sure the prayer was well-received. I’m hopeful my dad will have an easier/safer time there than he did in Baghdad.

Likewise, I apologize for any language I used that would dennote a holier-than-thou pretense or victim-like attitude. I would say that I’m hardly a victim. I have a great appreciation for our system of government, and have always pro-actively participated in it on a variety of issues, including LGBT ones.

I was convsersing with my partner last night, and I’ve come to one realization. If it were just the two of us, living our lives as a plain ole couple (doing the gardening, caring for our home, climbing the corporate ladder), I most likely wouldn’t make a fuss with regard to equality. I’d probably keep writing to my representatives, lobbying in a polite and civil manner against legislation targeted against members of the community. But, now that we’re seriously discussing becoming parents, with both my parents’ support and that of all of our straight friends, I feel more aware of issues we will face as a couple, and how our child may be treated. We’ll continue to fight in a civil manner for what we think is right, and history tells that progress has been made. Every once in a while, in looking at the road that lies ahead, it is frustrating to think that what we and others feel is just and fair contradicts what others themselves believe.

my comment was not at all meant to be sarcastic

And yet, it was. Look, I really don’t mind. It’s OK.

My attempt at taking the high road stands.

…Because #35 equally *isn’t* (sarcasm again - oopsie!) an instance of your trying to propagate a ‘delightfully’ malicious legend.

The idea of relocating… would do nothing to help that little gay kid in the backwoods of N. GA.

So now your choice is about helping the little gay kids of the backwoods? Cool. I mean, whatever. As I said, life is all choices and tradeoffs - for everybody. America, for all its imperfections, is still THE country offering you and all its citizens the best opportunities.

James is by far the most civil and … pardon the word … articulate dissenter

V, I would have said Pat was, hands down. Or others, whose exact handles I can’t remember. Currently I’m perceiving the gap between James’ holier-than-thou pretenses on the one hand, and the fairly standard Left-victim / BDS / etc. thrust of his arguments on the other. But, if you disagree, I’ll step aside so you can interact with him.

As for the subject of government intrusion versus a lack thereof, I suppose I shall continue to respectfully disagree, with the exception of our shared stance on gay marriage.

70. I think your stance would be consistent or principled if it accounted for the realities all Americans who identify as LGBT persons face. The idea of relocating to, say, the West Coast, where LGBT persons seem to have a great deal of support, would seem no better to me than fleeing. It would make my life easier, but would do nothing to help that little gay kid in the backwoods of N. GA.

I keep thinking of a little line the priest always mentioned. Something about the very least you do for your bretheren…

your stance seems to be quite rigid

Thank you. Functionally, you have used ‘rigid’ as an equivalent to ‘consistent’ or ‘principled’ - i.e., those words would function as well, in your sentence - and I take that as a high compliment. I always strive to be principled.

It is my personal choice to always take the high road

Except you didn’t. You employed sarcasm at #63. As I accurately quoted at #66. Or does it not count, if you’re doing it?

I actually abhore self-pity

Excellent, then. Keep it up.

I find it somewhat offensive that you’d use the overturning of sodomy laws as evidence that I have a good quality of life. I should hope you don’t you mean that my quality of life is dictated by my ability to [fornicate]?

Once more, you’re a bit easily offended. But, in a spirit of goodwill, I shall make a last attempt at explanation.

The government isn’t intruding on you. That is what we were discussing. The last time the government intruded on gay people, was when some states still had sodomy laws in effect. And that intrusion has been suspended or abolished. So there is nothing the government is doing to intrude on you, James, that puts you at any disadvantage with respect to your straight counterparts.

There may be some intrusions on your behalf that you want the government to make on other people. Same with me - for example, my longtime support for gay marriage. But the fact that the government fails to make that intrusion on my behalf, in no way limits my quality of life. I mean… unless I should want to play victim about it.

It is not my intention to sound like a victim or that I pity myself. I actually abhore self-pity, am very assertive in life and am proud that we have a system of government that allows our voices to be heard. My examples were meant to illustrate that every situation is different, and that your stance seems to be quite rigid in that regard.

I find it somewhat offensive that you’d use the overturning of sodomy laws as evidence that I have a good quality of life. I should hope you don’t you mean that my quality of life is dictated by my ability to privately “bumsen”?

I thank you for the reading recommendation. I’ve already found inspiration in the teachings of Christ, and in the example of such figures as MLK and Niemoeller.

albeit, with a nice hint of sarcasm

Which is, of course, more than a hint of sarcasm.

Stop the whining, James. Stop playing victim cards. You’re doing it right in front of us - for example, with the constant references to others’ sarcasm, whether that be imagined or real, inappropriate or appropriate. And, you apparently do it in the rest of your life.

On your point (1) above - So let yourself be questioned about your relationship. Big deal. Or, if it really is a big deal, then move to a State that suits you better. Or, if you can’t because you are committed to your partner and he is committed to taking care of Dad: Then go with that. Life is all choices and tradeoffs. EVERYBODY makes them. Grow a pair. The whining and self-pity are what undermines your quality of life.

1) On July 25 I had the experience of excluding my partner’s testimony in my bodily injury case because the opposing attorney said she would have to question him about our relationship as he’d have a possible financial stake in the outcome of my case (though we can’t legally marry and have no joint banking accounts). The state in which I reside is socially conservative with regard to LGBT issues, and has quite the reputation (a little case of Bowers v. Hardwick, which was overturned finally in 2003 in the Texas case). That is a fact of life here.

2) We have made a commitment to each other. Mom was especially supportive since she is leary that my sister will ever marry, and mom really wants grandkids

3) Believe it or not, this has actually already been taken care of. When it became apparent that we both wanted to spend our lives together, I proactively did the necessary research.

4) Having spent most of my life on the move, relocation isn’t an issue for me personally. But, please note the second paragraph in my comment in 62.

You may have slipped on one shoe…In my case, moving would mean leaving my partner, which I have no intention of doing. His father is ailing, and for his own peace of mind, he is committed to being there for him until then end. After that, relocation would be a possibility. I did make a great effort to select an employer with a good reputation with regard to equality, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, or anything else. That heterosexuals don’t necessarily have to worry about that (unless it is of personal interest) indicates an imbalance of sorts. The question then becomes, did I make a choice of compromise, or was the choice made for me by the state in which I live?

I’d like to hear suggestions as to how to achieve the same quality of life as an openly gay individual, who pays taxes, is a proud American, the same as a straight counterpart.

In descending order of importance:

1) STOP WHINING. Stop pretending you don’t really, already have “the same quality of life”. Since 2003 (suspension of sodomy laws), we have it. Don’t pretend otherwise; it only makes you a negative whiner and that definitely undermines your quality of life.

2) If you have (and are yourself) a worthy partner, make a commitment to each other.

3) If you and your partner are committed, make whatever legal arrangements you need. Wills, Advance Health Care Directive, Living Trust, etc. There are lots of good legal self-help books out there… some specially for gays.

4) If gay marriage is important to you, work for it in your State. And/or, consider moving to a State that has it.

The market solves those problems with great efficiency is a lie.

My company offers insurance for same sex partners as do many other companies. There’s no law that requires it. Therefore, the market DOES solve that “problem”.

So a landlord should be able to not rent to hispanics even if the references would be impeccable and the credit good? Employers should hire based on sexual orientation in addition to qualifiecations rather than letting the same criteria apply to all?

It depends how far you want to take it. In my own view, yes. BUT… The point is, if the government steps in and says “Landlord, you must do X”, un-invited by the landlord… That is some type of intrusion. We can then debate if it is a legitimate intrusion (needed to protect actual rights) or an illegitimate (something that violates someone else’s rights)… whether it was legislated democratically… etc.