Tonight, GayPatriot will debut a worldwide first:Â A Presidential Debate live-blogged by my dog, Shadow.Â Â I know, it is very exciting and groundbreaking.Â We aim to serve here. Â I have modified a keyboard in order for her to adequately type without a thumb with direction from the Dr. Emmett Brown Institute for Future Technology.
I will be monitoring her live-blogging and may insert my own editorial comments throughout.Â Shadow will begin posting here at this link shortly before 9PM Eastern time.
Finally, while I Vicodin-Blogged the Vice Presidential debate… I’m considering two options tonight.Â Â You get to choose!
UPDATE: Shiraz wins. Glass is poured.
I am now turning the blog over to Shadow for her live puppy-blogging.
9:00PM – hello peeple.Â i am shadoe and i like sarah palin.Â is she on this debate tonight?
i am sowwy that i cant spell good.Â i am only three.
9:04 PM – first question is from mr. clean.Â did he look in the mirror with that color combination?
dad says every time obama says ‘aaaaand’ and ‘uhhhhhh’ i get a doggie biscuitÂ Â he will be taking a gulp of wine.
who is the old guy in the undertaker’s suit?
dad says he wants the old guy to buy up his mortgage, too
they both look like undertakers.Â Â or dog catchers!Â Â boooooooooo
9:10 PM – oliver has a much better color combination than alan did.Â Â i’d like to hump his leg.
oh, i forgot.Â girl dogs don’t do that.Â Â saxby is here next to me on the coach and he says he would hump oliver’s leg.
ooooo.Â the old guy is going after obama on his cronies.Â what is a cronie?Â Â is that what it means when you are an “attack dog”?Â Â i do not like that term.
dad tells me that obama eats puppies.Â Â i don’t like him now.Â Â i like sarah palin.
obama says he didn’t promote fannie mae.Â is she that woman from hee-haw?
dad says that he thinks william ayers in the audience.Â Â i think he is drunk from the wine.
i see the old guy has his bracelet on.Â i wonder if obama will remember the name on his bracelet.
9:18 PM – teresa looks like a saturday night live character.Â Â but i like her black pearls.Â i’d look good in them.Â i think i will steal them from her
obama is going to spend money.Â Â that means less food and snacks for me.
dad just yelled at the teevee when the old guy said he worked with the feingold guy on campaign finance reform.Â Â whatever that means.
i haven’t gotten a biscuit yet.Â Â obama needs to hem and haw more.Â Â i don’t like him anymore.Â Â i’m hungry.
the old guy is frisky tonight.
9:24 PM – the old guy keeps saying he has a record.Â Â i asked dad what songs he sang when the radio was first invented.
obama says aaaaaaaaaand!Â Â i got a treat!Â Â wooooof!
i guess obama has a record too.
9:28 PM – an old lady has figured out how to use email.Â Â that is cool.Â she wants to know if we will have to sacrifice.Â Â i would like to have the old guy sacrifice that nasty cat that lives next door.
a spending freeze.Â Â brrrrr.Â luckily my cute black coat will keep me warm if the old guy freezes me.
dad just came unglued when the obama guy said 9/11.Â Â he wonders why obama is using 9/11 for political benefit.
i think the old guy is being more feisty than the obama guy.Â obama isn’t countering the old guy much.
9:33PM – tom brokaw has a funny voice.Â he also looks like joe biden with hair.
dad says he wants a tax cut.Â Â i think that means i get more food and treats.
9:38 PM – my doggie daycare is a small business.Â i don’t want them to get higher taxes by the obama guy.
i am sorryÂ i fell asleep.Â i was dreaming of beef.Â Â dad says my feet were running.Â Â dad is still on one glass of wine.
dad was a lobbyist.Â i can see his horns and he keeps the pitchfork in the closet.
9:43 PM – wow ingrid.Â Â those earrings are fierce, girl.Â the old guy gets excited about climate change.Â he is talking about green things.Â Â our lawn is greenÂ Â Â until i pee on it.
“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand” ….. BISCUIT!
obama said the computer was invented by government scientists who wanted to communicate better?Â Â dad just spit out some wine.
did you know that cows cause global warming?Â cows are tasty.
9:49 PM – lindsey looks like a sheep dog.Â Â if i were a lesbian dog, i would probably hump her.
what was the question?Â Â i am getting bored.
dad… what is a mammogram?
(GP Ed Note: Is healthcare a right?Â Â Funny, I engaged with a doctor from the American Medical Association this year on this topic.Â He said it was a right.Â I asked him “oh really?Â Is that a moral right, an inalienable right, or a Constitutional right?”Â Â His response — a Constitutional right.Â Â WRONG.Â Looks like Obama agrees.Â Well, you can’t have a private market with a “right” — you need massive government regulation.Â Argghhhh.Â Â Ok, back to Shadow.)
dad took the keyboard away from me.
9:59 PM – it is my bedtime.Â the old guy and the obama guy are snoozers.Â dad just gave me a greenie treat.Â yummy.
iraq.Â iraq.Â iraq.Â do you know that those bad terrorists strap bombs to dogs?Â Â booooooooooooo.
the obama doctrine — eat puppies.Â booooo.
dad just said to remind obama that there was ethnic cleansing in iraq.Â obama has big ears.
dad told me to stop saying obama has big ears.Â dad was called “dumbo” as a child.
wooo hoooo.Â i am getting a biscuit because the old guy has said “my friends” three times.Â Â my dad is so cool.
10:08 PM – ooooooo katie.Â Â easy with the eye shadoe.Â should not have been the same color as your blazer, girl.
i guess osama won’t be voting for obama.Â obama wants to kill osama.
where is this pakistan place?Â Â it sounds like lots of bad guys are there
10:16 PM – osama hates dogs too.Â i wish someone would kill him.
saxby is mad at me for typing.Â he is on the other couch whining.Â i am going to go nip him on the neck.
dad has fallen asleep.Â he won’t need ambien tonite.Â Â he has obama and the old guy.
10:21 PM – obama – “aaaaaaaaaaand” — BISCUIT!!!!
russia is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.Â the old guy likes to talk about energy.Â Â but he doesn’t like oil from alaska.Â booooo.
10:25 PM – terry asks about israel.Â dad woke up when he heard the words “united nations” and threw his wine glass across the room.
“my friend” — another BISCUIT!!!!Â Â Â i nipped dad on the hand to wake him up to give it to me.
no one seems to like iran.Â i think they eat dogs there too.
i KNOW they eat dogs in north korea.Â boooooooo
10:30 PM – the question is about what they do not knoe and how will they learn it.Â they need to learn not to put my dad asleep.
i do not think the obama guy answered the question.
dad woke up and said he thinks this was a softball question for mcccain.Â he can talk about ehckspieriense.
dad says i have to go now.Â Â i liked talking to you peeple tonight.Â Â when i see you… i will lick your face.
-Shadow (PatriotPuppy #2)