Very often on Saturday mornings — and sometimes even Sundays — I will rise from my bed grateful I have nothing planned for the day. I delight, as I did this morning, at the quiet of my apartment. I won’t turn on the TV or check the web. Instead, I’ll sit quietly at my desk reading a book, scribbling some notes or just pausing, listening to the rustle of the leaves as the wind moves through the tree outside my window.
Even if a close friend or beloved relative calls, I will regret the interruption. I’d rather have this time to myself.
I’ve often wondered if we all need such moments.  Perhaps my observation of my fellows is limited, but sometimes it seems all too many can’t bear such quiet. They constantly seek activity or human presence.to fill the void.
Sometimes when I get angry e-mails from readers, those insulting me, calling me self-hating or a hyper-partisan or whatever slur they can come up with I wonder if this is their means of filling the void. Why, I wonder, do they so regularly check this blog, which they claim, so offends them?
It’s almost as if they have inverted George Eliot’s maxim:Â “The first condition of human goodness is something to love; the second, something to reverence.”*Â They seem to have decided the way to deal with their loneliness is by finding someone to revile and someone to demonize.
Expressing these hateful emotions help connect them to a community where criticism of Republicans is the defining idea. Fearful of feeling isolated, they need show their commitment to the cause by manifesting the depth of their malice, like the zeal of a convert. (Yes, we see this on the right as well, particularly in the ill-will of some extreme social conservatives toward gays. Note the frequency with which certain anti-gay zealots frequent gay sites or attend their conferences.)
I know I’m not alone in finding peace in such quiet moments and would daresay that many who disagree with me politically also enjoy such solitude from time to time. They’re the ones who write more thoughtful e-mails and offer more rational comments when taking issue with our posts.
While ours is a social species, given the way we have evolved, there will be times when we will be left on our own. And the real lesson of life is to see these moments as a blessing not a curse.
In her touching novel, Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, May Sarton’s eponymous heroine considers her life as a solitary writer. She has learned to distinguish between loneliness and solitude: “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is he richness of self.”
Perhaps, if more people understood her wisdom and we all sought the wealth within when cut off from the world, we might find ourselves less angry at our adversaries and more respectful of those who hold different views and have different longings.
—
*From the story, “Janet’s Repentance,” in Scenes of Clerical Life.
An interesting note about this post, the first time in a while where I did my entire research not by googling, but by searching from quotations in books from my personal library.
One of your trolls last night was bragging about going to a Halloween party where everyone dressed as a hated member of the Bush Administration. I don’t know if this was supposed to make people who don’t hate Bush feel bad, or something. It just made me think, “Gosh, that is really mental. You can’t let go of your hate and just have a good time? That’s really messed up.”
The way this relates to your post is, I just don’t get the living for hate. I’m gonna hate whoever gets elected on Tuesday, but I don’t think I’ll think about it for more than five minutes a week. It’s not healthy. I hate Bush, but I don’t make my whole life about hating Bush.
And for the solitude part, I guess living with a couple of teenagers makes you really appreciate solitude.
A lot of truth in those few paragraphs. Thoughtful posts like this one are the primary reason I read your blog. Thanks, and have a great rest o’ the weekend.
Sorry to hear that you get some hate-filled emails.
I just learned that Obama’s aunt is an illegal immigrant living in Boston in public housing and has a part-time job with the Boston Housing Authority. I guess that she is expecting to move in the White House when Obama is elected? …………… and, she has been ordered by a judge to leave the country. Of course she has been giving money to Obama’s campaign.
Lately, being unemployed and home alot of the day, I have found it tougher and tougher to watch TV, listen to the radio, read blogs or online news sites, or even talk to neighbors. I love politics as much as all those out there who frequent these places but sometimes its just a bit too much to hear it from neighbors or just in passing at the store. Of course here in Seattle its all Obama, Obama, Obama. This city is a cathedral to the cult of Obama.
Last night during trick or treating, a pair of kids showed up at my door, their parents were down off my porch. After taking some candy they then asked me if I would make a donation to Obama. They held up a little plastic orange pumpkin covered in Obama stickers. I polite declined, closed the door and thought for a brief moment I was going to be sick.
Re: Obama’s aunt: she has given $260 total-all in small amounts. I do not personally have a problem with that. What bothers me is that Obama hasn’t appeared to even help her get through the bureaucratic maze needed to be allowed to stay and maybe get an appeal on her legal status. What good is having a high positioned relative if they won’t even help you out.
LCRW, what a horrible story. I am so fed up with parents using their children as political props1
I also don’t understand the Halloween party, I thought part of the fun was seeing how creative people can with the idea of dressing up.
This reminds me a local Synagogue – very progressive, very much the hip place to be. I’ve gone with an open mind, but always walk away disgusted. They simply can’t celebrate any Jewish Holiday as the religious celebration it was meant to be – they always drag things down with politics. And I mean drag down – when they bring in politics, it becomes all about hating America.
As to solitude, I find it a blessing to be happy with my own company. Wouldn’t want to do so 24/7, but being with others 24/7 would be equally hard.
I just discovered your webpage and find it to be both intelligent and refreshing. Don’t worry about the haters!
I just saw a McCain/Palin bumper sticker on a Prius. There is hope.
Actually, I’m having a hard time these days, which is why I’m hanging out here, where there is, thank God, a small corner of sanity. GPW_-this particular post for some reason seems especially poignant.
LCRW–You are so right about Seattle–that’s my home too. I’ve been surrounded by Obamamania for months and months. It IS a cult. The assumption here is that no one exists that would have a different opinion, and if they did, they ought to go hide in a cave. So many people who should know better—voting for a wish, a promise, and idea, etc. And all I can think about is the Garden of the Finzi-Continis. Anyone here old enough to know that film?
I crave solitude so much that I love working from home three days a week. When the work day ends and my hubby is home, I feel refreshed and ready to keep after him to complete the “Honey Do” lists I give him.
For the most part, the posts here are more intellectually stimulating than emotionally heartfelt. And even as one of the not-totally-insane members of the left, I can’t stand McCain or GOP bashing. I think I’d have left that Halloween party after the first five minutes.
I think all humans crave some kind of solitude in order to reflect or “recharge their batteries.” I love my Hubby dearly, but sometimes I just need quiet reflection and “space.” Not only does he understand, but he’s now doing it as well. It’s made our relationship stronger.
Re the GOP-bash-party: I agree. I would have left after seeing it happen. Some people just can’t mix in public without wearing their politics on their sleeve. I pity them.
It wouldn’t have happened here in the South. We native Texans are taught from the cradle not to mention three things in polite company: politics, money or religion. No matter what your persuasion.
Regards,
Peter H.
Leah—Re :parents using their children as props–I had a chuckle thinking of your comment!
Got back from a party this evening with some lovely people I didn’t know before. One of the guests was a young mother carrying a baby in a snuggy (or whatever they call it now–I’m emptynested) on her chest with a large Obama button on it, and she was showing off her button with that peculiarly sick-making adoring smile reserved for those who have true faith in the One!