GayPatriot

The Internet home for American gay conservatives.

Your Nieces & Nephews Will Bankrupt You*

by

On Monday, after dinner at the Farmers Market, a friend and I browsed in the shops in the Grove, the shopping plaza immediately adjacent.  His suggestion that we visit the How to Bankrupt Your Uncle American Girl store proved a costly one for me.

You see, the following day, the TwinPatriotNiecesWest would be celebrating their birthday.  And I’m always trying to get gifts for my niblings which reflect their passions.  It was easy enough to get a gift for one of the twins, as she specifically requested a black-footed ferret (stuffed not live).  I just googled the animal and was in business (but not exactly the right kind of business as I’ll explain anon).

Well, unlike her animal-loving twin, Laura (not her real name) has a passion for classical music.  But, she’s not quite old enough for Amadeus.  Which brings me to Monday night.  So, my friend and I walk into the store.  And there in a little display cabinet, I see a doll “playing” a toy piano.  Imagining that Laura would love that piano, I asked if it were for sale.  It was.  Would they ship it?  They would.

You can figure out the rest.

When I spoke with my niece the following day, she was excited about getting such a piano for her American Girl doll.

Now, back to the black-footed ferret.  I had already bought a stuffed one for next Jane Goodall, Laura’s animal-loving sister.  I’d even arranged to “adopt” one for her  When I told her this, she was excited about the two stuffed animals she’d get with her adoptions.  Two?  I wondered (but not out loud).  I had to order the one independently of the adoption.

Back online I went and sure enough, the World Wildlife Fund offers an adoption kit with two plushes.  I couldn’t possibly disappoint this niece.  Not just that.  I’d already spent more on her sister’s present.  With the second adoption, it would be about equal.

I adopted again.  So, now do you get my title?

—————–

*And you’ll love it when they do.

Comments

  1. Sometimes, very rarely, I think about how my life would be without kids. I could have a pool table downstairs, instead of having half the downstairs taken up with drums and sound equipment. I could have taken the job in Colorado Springs. I’d have a lot more money in the bank. I could use my fireplace, instead of deferring to one the guy’s alleged “smoke allergy.” My car insurance would be half of what it is.

    Still, the material trade-offs are worth it.

  2. Well as they say, Dan: you can’t take it with you. If I have to divest myself of everything before I leave this life, my family is certainly whom I’d like to spoil. Especially the kids. God luv ’em…

  3. There is nothing like the joy of children! I am so grateful to have 6 nieces and nephews. I love the chaos of kids 🙂

    I will say that they have not bankrupted me yet… But thank goodness I am still their favorite uncle.

  5. Between my partner’s family and my family, we have 28 nieces and nephews (ages 3-32). Several of them have children now. I can’t even imagine how much we have spent over the years. But well worth it. Luckily the nieces outgrow American Girl dolls… I still get the catalogs.

    Our home used to be the gathering place for the pack of nephews (7 of them born in a 4 year period) to hang out and be cool with. Now they ask us if they can get married in our home. A very nice feeling indeed..

  6. I agree with the above – nothing makes you feel better than hearing your name screamed from across the room by a niece and/or nephew upon your arrival, and being hugged by a child who knows that when Uncle Peter is in the house, a present will usually follow!

    Now if I could just convince the eldest one to drop this stupid notion of attending A&M and going to The University of Texas instead…..

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  8. You sound like a very generous uncle. Thankfully for us my girls have outgrown American Girl dolls, but I know from experience just how easily a loving uncle could blow his bank account.

    I hope your nieces enjoy their gifts-it is nice to see you put so much thought into buying them gifts in the age of giftcards.

  10. Great, I just received an American Girl Catalog in the mail yesterday after reading this post (still trying to figure out how I am on their mailing list)

    I suppose the Gay Patriot foreshadowing was good to have beforehand as usual.

    🙂