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On the Woes & Weirdness of Gay Dating

Posted by GayPatriotWest at 5:43 pm - February 23, 2009.
Filed under: Dating,LA Stories

It seems that for the better part of my time in LA, I would only end up dating guys with whom I had absolutely nothing in common.  So bad did it get at one point that I even signed up for a dating service.  And that didn’t help at all.

Well, things started to change just over two years ago where, in the space of several months, I had the two best first dates I’d had since moving out here.  And in the subsequent months, I would continue to have a number of great dates, though not yet finding my match.  At least I’m no longer meeting guys who say they work out regularly, only to learn that they had resolved to work out regularly — at some undetermined point in time.  (This used to happen quite regularly.)

That’s not to say all my dating experiences have been pleasant ones.  Some have been truly bizarre, others disappointing and others illuminating.

Sometimes when I share these stories with friends, they suggest I should write about them.

I was sharing once such story, though not quite about dating, with a straight friend today, noting one of the many differences between gay and straight dating.  He suggested I blog about it.  So, a bit drained from writing about politics and the politicization of Hollywood, I decided to do just that.

While working out, I commented on this cute guy (very much my type) who usually works out the same time I do.  Last week, I had finally confirmed my hunch that this fair fellow was gay, only to learn that his workout partner was his boyfriend.  So, I summarized the situation to my gay friend saying something like this:

Just because my hopes were fulfilled when I learned he was gay doesn’t mean I’m satisfied.  I mean, sometimes for us, we gotta first figure out if a guy’s gay.  When you were single [my friend is married], all you had to do was figure out if she’s into you, then proceed from there.  We need to figure out if he’s gay before knowing how to proceed.

He agreed.

Please note that I write this with a smile. Sometime it seems it’s something of a fool’s errand to try to figure out if someone is gay or not. Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’s available. And just because he’s available doesn’t mean he’s interested.

Such is life.

Sean Penn, the Oscars and Gay Marriage

As movies have the power to transcend human difference and remind us of our common humanity, I believe the Oscars should focus on those transcendent themes of film and the artistic achievements which help make them manifest on the silver screen.  To that end, it would be better if award winners did use their time on stage as a platform to advocate this or that cause, or, in the case at hand, to trash one’s ideological adversaries.

What was telling to me about Sean Penn’s speech last night was not merely that he used it to make a political statement, two actually, but that he did so in such a spiteful way, choosing to attack rather than promote:

I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support.

If he had to make a political statement on gay marriage, particularly as he won an award for portraying Harvey Milk, couldn’t he have said that he hopes this movie will show those who voted for Proposition 8 of the human dignity that this activist/politician had advocated in his all-too-short time on the political stage?

Instead he says they should be ashamed for believing marriage should be defined as it has long been defined.

Why did he make a vituperative statement instead of an uplifting one?

This all gets back to my oft-repeated point about why so many advocates of gay marriage choose to attack the opponents of gay marriage rather than defend the idea of gay marriage.  Bear in mind we’re not trying to prevent those opponents from being elected to office, but to advance an idea.

Sean Penn and others who wish to promote gay marriage should learn from people like Jonathan Rauch (whose advocacy of gay marriage I have often praised) and Catherine Thienmann who dare make the case for gay marriage, telling us why it’s a good thing not just for gay people, but also for society.

Obama Admin Officials:
Come Out, Come Out, Where Ever You Are!

From Bill Moyers to Mike Rogers – liberals now have a documented history of shamelessly and ruthlessly rooting out The Gays(tm) who are in public service in Washington, DC.

So, since we have such an alleged “progressive” Administration now…. there is simply no reason for any gay or lesbian to be in the closet if they work in the Obama Executive branch.

Therefore, I am officially kicking off an effort to promote the openly gay and lesbian staff and officials who work in the Obama Administration.  Come out, come out, all of you!   I’m now accepting names and titles and will proudly publish them as I get them.   You can’t be afraid of anything — you work for the OBAMA Administration, right???

I fully expect liberals and progressives to avalanche me with emails with these out and proud public servants.  Again, there is simply no reason for all gay and lesbians in the Obama Administration to publicly declare their sexual orientation.

So let’s see how this turns out, folks.   My email address is BRUCE@GAYPATRIOT.ORG.

-Bruce (GayPatriot)

Oscar Observations

Posted by GayPatriotWest at 2:59 am - February 23, 2009.
Filed under: Annoying Celebrities,Movies/Film & TV

The Oscars were almost entertaining.  The show had some really powerful moments and some incredible glitches.  Hugh Jackman was a great choice for a host, handsome, funny, good dancer.

It was cool seeing someone I met and know to be a nice guy win an Oscar.  Dustin Lance Black who wrote the screenplay for Milk.  Every time I see him at Outfest, he’s friendly to those he meets and gracious to the festival staff and volunteers.  It’s nice to see nice guys get attention and honors.

Other observations:

Angelina Jolie‘s earrings looked like they were made of kryptonite.

Kate Winslet gave the best acceptance speech of the evening.  She seemed truly gracious and moved by the award.  While I might have voted for Jolie, I do believe Winslet has earned this honor –and not just for The Reader, for her whole body of work.  And the Oscars were originally designed to honor a body of work.

Sean Penn gave the worst speech, unnecessarily politicizing the event.  If he wanted to make the case for gay marriage, he would have done better not to attack its opponents and make a positive argument instead. When Penn reads someone else’s lines, he does a remarkable job.  He’s not so good with his own.  While I grant he delivered an Oscar-worthy performance in Milk, he did little to endear himself to most Americans who go to the movies.

And I wonder why on earth the organizers chose one of a hyperpartisan left-of-center host of a political show to present the documentary awards.  The choice of Bill Maher does not reflect well on the Academy.

And what was up with the Memorial Tribute.  In past years, once they start rolling the film, that occupies the entire screen.  This year, they kept shifting the camera angle covering the screen on stage at the Hollywood theater.  As a result, we often had difficulty reading the names of the late stars and even seeing the brief shot of their achievement.