Yesterday, while working out, I posed a hypothetical to a straight friend of mine, asking if he’d rather be funny-looking, but a nice guy or handsome and unkind.Â He hesitate for a bit, then answered that he’d rather be funny-looking.
I had asked the question after seeing this well-built guy walk by, a straight man who always scowls and never has a kind word for anyone.Â His cold presence called to mind another straight guy at our gym.Â That man has a strange appearance; his workouts don’t seem to have altered his lanky physique, yet he always smiles and has something nice or clever to say when you greet him.Â When I mentioned this guy (we’ll call him Larry though that’s not his real name) to my straight friend, his face lit up, “You know, he dates models.”
Somehow that made sense to me.Â Larry is not the first funny-looking straight guy I know who dates beautiful women.Â I’ve known overweight straight men with outgoing personalities, a great senses of humor and/or above-average abilities to listen who have dated strikingly attractive women.
Yet, if a gay guy were funny-looking, unless he were rich, he would certainly trouble finding a hot guy to date him, even if he had a most compelling personality.Â The explanation is not in our sexuality, but our gender.Â For whatever reason it seems men are more visual than women.Â And more often than not, women just seem to value the person over his appearance.
This is not the first time I’ve noticed this nor am I the first person to say it.Â It’s just something that struck me yesterday when I had that conversation . . .
FROM THE COMMENTS:Â Leah writes:
Women often will take security – either physical or financial over looks.
I hate the idea that women are â€˜better’ than men. We’re not. It’s just much easier to find fault with men since their faults are more ‘superficial’. Whereas it’s harder to pin point the woman’s weakness.