We’ve reached the point where those of us on my side of the gay marriage issue, if we want to avoid a backlash of our own making, need a remedial primer on how we lose, and how we lose again. I’ve said most of this before, and so have others, but it obviously needs to be said again. So…
When we let a foul-mouthed caricature like Perez Hilton become the spokesman for our cause, we lose. And when we defend that foul-mouthed caricature for using rhetoric that we would call hate speech if it came from the other side, we lose again.
We lose, he claims, when “we actually start to believe that anyone who doesn’t meet us 100% of the way on this issue really is a ‘hater.'” While seconding my point that we need to rationally, civilly respond to gay marriage opponents, he acknowledges that this response is “just not as satisfying emotionally.”
He’s really onto something there. I think that’s why so many respond as they do. It’s like venting. It makes them feel better. This shouldn’t about their feelings, should instead be about how our government treats gay relationships.Â And a good number of opponents of gay marriage don’t know much about the reality of these relationships, thus don’t believe they’re worthy of state recognition.
So, understand and respect that their lack of knowledge comes about largely because of ignorance, not hatred. And find a way to correct it without insulting them.
Just read Wesley’s post. And while you’re over at his blog, check out this post as well. Amazing how similar our reactions were to the anti-Mormon ad put out by some “No on 8” folks. Had I seen that ad before resolving to vote, “No,” on 8, I may well have changed my mind.