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How to Earn a Large Tip

May 7, 2009 by GayPatriotWest

I always believe in adjusting my tip based on the quality of service.  A friendly and efficient waiter will earn more than 20% while am impolite and/or inefficient server will get a flat 15% . . . if that.

Well, today I decided to treat myself to a nice lunch at Monsier Marcel, a nice French place in Farmers Market.  I’m quite partial to their three cheese and fruit plate.

After all the stress I had yesterday with my computer crashing and the minor aggravations associated with the server switch, that plate seemed just the ticket.  Well, they no longer included my favorite cheese, Humboldt Fog, on their menu, but still stocked it in the adjoining Gourmet Store.  The waitress, recalling my last visit, shared my frustration that I could not order it.

I chose my cheeses, regretting I could not get my favorite.  Well, before she brought out the plate, she promised me a “surprise.”   When she did serve it, there was a big chunk of Humboldt Fog.  We chatted about cheeses.  That she was friendly and went the extra mile made a huge difference to me.  Any frustration from my computer and our server woes was easily erased.

And she got a 33% tip . . . in cash.  (I had paid the regular tab with my credit card.)

A reminder to those who who work in the service industry that some of us appreciate you efforts.  And a reminder to those of us who eat out from time to time.  Maybe if we started paying a little more to reward good service, we might see more of it.

Just a thought.  And a hope.

Filed Under: LA Stories, Random Thoughts

Comments

  1. Casey says

    May 7, 2009 at 10:23 pm - May 7, 2009

    I’m a cook, not a server, but a lot of my co-workers bust their butts just to get stiffed. Sometimes you just can’t win. Speaking for them, thanks so much for the kind words.

    Many of the folks I work with are more than willing to go the extra mile. Those kind of servers used to drive me nuts, until I realized they were trying to give their people the best service possible, including bugging the line cooks about Every. Little. Detail.

    Ironically enough, one of those guys is now my boss, but I asked to work in his store. He works very hard to hire people with that attitude, and constantly reminds us there’s a ton of competition these days. Entire chains have been going Chapter 11, or just poof!

    …come to think of it, there was the time I got a bigger tip from a table than the server got… Heh.

  2. Gene on Pennsylvania says

    May 7, 2009 at 11:06 pm - May 7, 2009

    Loved your story GPW. I’m able to leave large tips when warranted. Sadly it doesn’t happen often. At times, wait staff in ft Lauderdale get to know me and they go out of their way to deliver great service. I think South Florida has some of the most professional, best trained staff I’ve seen. I wish I could spend more time there.

  3. cme says

    May 8, 2009 at 12:05 am - May 8, 2009

    Dan, I totally agree. Waiters/waitresses and similar service-industry people should be tipped in almost all situations, but some deserve more than others. Also, people ought to consider things that go beyond the bill; if one gets water and the server keeps the glass full, one should tip for that as if it were a soda, and one should tip off of the bill without considering coupons and that sort of thing.

    When a person tips well or poorly, it reflects on the group that person is from, if it’s obvious, like being in the military or coming out for lunch after church or whatever. People should tip in a way that shows respect for the server. When that doesn’t happen, not only is it an insult to the server, but it is also an embarrassment to others the server is likely to associate with the stingy customer.

    Sorry for getting on my soapbox here and being maybe a little off-topic; it’s just something that irks me. (I’m pretty sure some people know what stereotype—which is too often true—I’m referring to.)

  4. The other Peter H says

    May 8, 2009 at 12:24 am - May 8, 2009

    She wanted you.

  5. Mark J. Goluskin says

    May 8, 2009 at 1:07 am - May 8, 2009

    AMEN, brother! Good service=great tip. Especially if the waiter/waitress is under trying conditions and STILL able to provide excellent service.

  6. ThatGayConservative says

    May 8, 2009 at 2:00 am - May 8, 2009

    Stresses like that call for a In ‘N’ Out Double Double.

  7. The Livewire says

    May 8, 2009 at 6:47 am - May 8, 2009

    I agree, the roommate and I are both pretty generous tippers. Though I can be a real, um, hardcase when we get bad service.

  8. Julie the Jarhead says

    May 8, 2009 at 7:19 am - May 8, 2009

    Was she cute?

    I’m a generous tipper, especially when I eat at my local breakfast place.

    A big tipper is a sign of a big ego. 😮

  9. Tully says

    May 8, 2009 at 10:01 am - May 8, 2009

    I often leave the tip in cash…so the waitron doesn’t have to trust the boss to pass it through.

    Good service = good tip, great service = great tip. Bad service = lousy tip.

  10. Peter Hughes says

    May 8, 2009 at 10:47 am - May 8, 2009

    #9 – “Waitron?” What kind of made-up PC word is that?

    Excuse me, but it’s either a “waiter” or “waitress,” thank you very much. Or if you insist, call them a “server.” But I digress.

    I used to work at a Bennigan’s to put myself through college, and I can tell you from experience that some people won’t tip, no matter how much you knock yourself out. Conversely, other people will tip generously even if you don’t put in much of an appearance at their table.

    When Hubby and I go out, we want good food with good service and will usually go 15% if it is adequate. If the server outdoes himself (for some reason, here in Houston the servers are mostly male), he gets 20-25%. I’ve been known to tip bartenders 30% if I eat at the bar, probably because they are more personable and have a better grasp at the menu and other details than your regular waiter.

    If the waiter is clueless, can’t describe a menu item or (worse) makes himself scarce, he’s lucky to get 10%. A tip is a gratuity; it should not be considered automatic (unless you have a party of six or more).

    Maybe because my parents were in the restaurant biz, or because of my own waitering history, but I am the last person you want to give a bad dining experience. However, I do reward exceptional service.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  11. The Livewire says

    May 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm - May 8, 2009

    Waitron = Former Decepticon voice actor, now working in a restaurant. 🙂

  12. David in N.O. says

    May 8, 2009 at 3:05 pm - May 8, 2009

    Not sure of the origins, but I recall hearing the term “waitron” from the protocol dept. under the first President Bush. I prefer “Garcon”! 🙂

  13. Jenn Q. Public says

    May 8, 2009 at 3:07 pm - May 8, 2009

    Dan, I’ve never worked at a restaurant, but lousy tippers are one of my biggest pet peeves. Leaving a tip is part of the cost of doing business – people who can’t afford or don’t feel obligated to leave at least 15 percent really shouldn’t be eating out at restaurants. In fact, at many restaurants, servers are paid far less than minimum wage with the expectation that tips will make up the difference and then some.

    And I completely agree that tips should be left in cash whenever possible. It’s just a little something extra you can do to express your gratitude.

    I also have no patience for people who tip poorly because their food is sub par. That is not the fault of the server, and is something that should be taken up with management, not taken out on your server.

    Also, I really want a nice fruit and cheese spread now.

  14. Peter Hughes says

    May 8, 2009 at 3:17 pm - May 8, 2009

    #13 – “People who can’t afford or don’t feel obligated to leave at least 15 percent really shouldn’t be eating out at restaurants.”

    Really, Jenn? That’s akin to saying that people who can’t afford to have babies shouldn’t be having sex.

    Sorry, but you are way out in left field on this one. A gratuity is merely that – a GIFT. It is not “the cost of doing business.”

    Also, nobody should be forced to give out money for a job that’s not done right (unless you work for The Snob or Congress – but I digress).

    Plus, since you admit that you have never worked in the restaurant business, I daresay you don’t know half of what goes on behind the counter. I do. Very well, as a matter of fact.

    If the food is lousy, it’s both the cook’s fault and the one who let it out of the kitchen. Usually a QA (quality assurance) guy is back there to make sure the plate is properly presented, but failing that – it’s the server’s responsibility. Part of training to be a waiter involves not only juggling six plates on both arms and the ability to pour liquids without spilling them, but also familiarity with how dishes are served and presented.

    If a waiter brings me a warm gazpacho or a cold order of fajitas, I will politely send it back because the temperature is incorrect. Usually at this point a manager will stop by your table to ask what was wrong with the dish – at which point it is the customer’s duty to let them know that the meal was “plated” incorrectly.

    Again, if the waiter is the one who took it out of the kitchen – and they usually are – and didn’t properly assess the situation before putting it on your table, it is their fault. Period. That’s why good restaurants have QAs and “runners” who deliver the food to your table to ensure correct temperature and presentation.

    Stick to the whine and cheese, honey.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  15. Peter Hughes says

    May 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm - May 8, 2009

    #1 – Casey, my hat’s off to you. A great line cook is worth his weight in gold. And it’s a tough job to boot.

    Congrats on getting that tip! 😉

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  16. The Ugly American says

    May 8, 2009 at 4:06 pm - May 8, 2009

    I always make a point of asking my server what their menu preferences are. Some of the best dishes I’ve eaten were a server’s favorite item.

    Also, whenever I dine alone, I make a point of tipping 20% percent – mainly because of the unfortunate reputation we single women have of under-tipping.

    It never fails…the waitperson will inevitably give me that forlorn look whenever they see I’m dining alone. Even if the service is slightly subpar, I’ll still give them a generous tip in order to chip away some of the stereotype.

  17. Peter Hughes says

    May 8, 2009 at 4:16 pm - May 8, 2009

    #16 – Good move, UA. That’s what I used to do when I worked as a waiter – when I got the usual “gee-I-don’t-know-what-do-you-recommend” query, I always pointed them to my favorites on the menu.

    Of course, if it was someone who was unpleasant or had an attitude, I’d do the opposite and suggest to them the worst item on the menu – or, for additional gratification, the most expensive. My regulars always saw me do that and they’d start laughing because they knew why I was doing it.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  18. Jenn Q. Public says

    May 8, 2009 at 4:21 pm - May 8, 2009

    #14 – Wow, Peter H. Comparing commentary on tacky tipping habits to social policy on sex and procreation is way out there, as is the condescending “honey” tacked on to the end of your last sentence.

    No one suggested diners ought to “be forced to give out money for a job that’s not done right,” so your attempts to put words in my virtual mouth are silly. However, it is well within reason to feel that it’s classless to visit a restaurant intending to pay less than the cost of the meal plus 15 percent. Pointing out gauche behavior on a post about social customs was hardly cause for your nasty response.

  19. The_Livewire says

    May 8, 2009 at 4:51 pm - May 8, 2009

    Hmm, “No one suggested… to be forced to give out money.”

    “Pay Cost of the meal plus 15%”

    *sings* One of these things is not like the others.

  20. Peter Hughes says

    May 8, 2009 at 4:56 pm - May 8, 2009

    #18 – Please quit being so thin-skinned, Jenny. Who do you think you are, Barack Obama?

    Ask any social maven – whether it’s Dear Abby, Miss Manners or Emily Post – and they will all say the same thing. Good to excellent service should be tipped appropriately. You should not feel “obliged” to leave a tip if the occasion doesn’t warrant it.

    If you want to leave a tip for sub-par service, that’s your business and your money. In the real world of economics and capitalism, there is such a thing as risk/reward and positive reinforcement. The good business will do all it can to improve its bottom line – as Casey points out in #1 – and the best people will receive the best wages (tips) in a healthy competitive environment. Giving a tip for sub-par service indicates that you didn’t find anything wrong with it, thus giving the server the impression that what he did was fine – which he will then repeat for the next unsuspecting customer until he realizes that his tips are smaller than the excellent waiter who clears more money in tips for fewer hours.

    Incidentally, I didn’t put words in your mouth – I used exactly what you said above. Funny too how you seemed to have more of an issue with my delivery rather than my argument.

    So I’m sorry if you found “honey” to be condescending, but I am from the South and we call EVERYONE “honey” or “sugar” or “buddy” because that’s how we are. If I really wanted to be condescending, I would have used the phrase “bless your heart.”

    And just as an observation – it is always the uptight Yankee feminist who objects to being called “honey.” Everyone else smiles at the compliment.

    Just my opinion.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  21. John says

    May 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm - May 8, 2009

    Good story, Dan. I agree that good service deserves a good tip. I’d add something else too: when you believe the service is exceptional, mention it to their boss. That goes a long way too.

  22. Ignatius says

    May 8, 2009 at 6:57 pm - May 8, 2009

    If I were a waiter, I would enjoy getting a big tip, but sometimes I might enjoy getting the shaft.

  23. ThatGayConservative says

    May 8, 2009 at 7:26 pm - May 8, 2009

    One thing to look out for is that sometimes the bus boy picks up the tip. Often, I try to make sure that the waiter or waitress gets it. I know technically you don’t usually hand the gratuity to them, but I want to be certain. That’s even if they have tip out jars.

  24. Casey says

    May 9, 2009 at 3:36 am - May 9, 2009

    Peter may be rather … blunt, but from where I stand he’s mostly correct. One should not include a tip “just because,” but because the service demands it.

    I’ll interject here that I’ve been bombarded for years with the term “server,” and have perforce defaulted to that expression.

    Strongly disagree with Jenn’s point that bad plates aren’t the server’s fault. I make it an especial point (which,alas, many don’t register) to tell my trainees that you own that food. Doesn’t matter one damn bit if Mister “I’ve been there ten years!” likes it, if you wouldn’t serve it to your friends or family, do NOT send it out of the kitchen! Same thing for servers. I may grumble (very sotto voce), but if a server tells me “no,” then it’s “no.” That’s it. We fix it. End of freaking discussion. Even if I do roll my eyes once in a while where they can’t see me. {grin}

    If a line cook sends out charred grilled food because she’s in a hurry, she’s wrong. If a server walks lukewarm, greasy fried food because he’s in a hurry, or weeded, he’s wrong.

    Agree with Peter here. There are multiple lines of defense here; the cook, the assembler, the dresser, the expediter; bad food is bad food, and it’s not hard to figure out. Same thing with servers. Just ask yourself, would you serve that food to your friends, and not be embarrassed?

    BTW -Peter- thanks for the kudos. Folks like me depend on folks like you for our paycheck. But I will register this complaint: I am so fed up with people who order a steak medium, then send it back because there’s pink in it! Arrrghh! NO PINK == WELL DONE, you blithering idiots!

    Ok. I’m better now. 🙂

    Actually, Peter, it’s worse than just competition these days. Person X gets bad service (for whatever reason) at our store. Person X then tells Person Y, who emails Person Z… You get the idea. Even a single bad experience can cascade throughout the local community, to the point where folks begin to say “Let’s not go to XX, they suck anymore!”

    From where I stand, you don’t even need to have favorites on the menu, if you grasp the King’s English. I can make people hungry just by describing our food, and that’s not even trying hard. Here’s an example:

    “We marinate our chicken breasts in balsamic vinaigrette dressing over night, cook them to perfection over a wood-smoked grill, then serve them over wild rice pilaf, along with your choice of accompaniment.”

    What? Aren’t you hungry yet? 🙂 And I’m just a measly peon cook. Just think how tasty a good server can describe that dish. 🙂

    …And I live in a midwestern, near-southern state along a large east-west river, and we all use “honey,” “darling,” “sweetie,” “dear,” “babe,” and other associated casual affectionate tags all the time…

  25. The_Livewire says

    May 9, 2009 at 10:30 am - May 9, 2009

    I run into a similar problem with customer service. We don’t work on tips, but we do need that empathy doing phone customer service. Espeically now. Businesses are looking more at the bottom line than at customer service quality, so it falls to the quality to tell people when they’re doing *right* as well as wrong.

  26. Peter Hughes says

    May 9, 2009 at 11:57 am - May 9, 2009

    #25 – Sounds like the same problem the airlines are having – they are so focused on the bottom line that they are neglecting the very passengers that they depend upon for that same bottom line!

    The story of the business success of the 1980s is very simple and it still works today – keep your ear to the ground, listen to your consumers and give them what they wish to pay for. It’s that simple.

    Getting back to restaurants, TGI Fridays – which I am not personally fond of but will tolerate if Hubby wants to go there – just started their $5-a-plate gimmick to get people in for decent food for cheap bucks. Again, simple concept: they kept their ears to the ground, so now they will give people something good and affordable.

    (Personal note to Casey – please don’t tell me you work at TGI Fridays, because it will ruin my perception of you as a good line cook. No offense.)

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  27. Casey says

    May 10, 2009 at 1:38 am - May 10, 2009

    Pete, no, I don’t! Although I do work with several folks who used to work at various local Bennigan’s. 🙂

    A hint: we have orient more towards seafood, and now provide an excellent series of wood-smoked grilled food.

    I make a point of being vague since specific comments about where you work can be a real pain on the Web, even if I do say that we are the best damn restaurant in our company, in Southwest Ohio. Even if the regional vice president in charge of operations agrees with you about that last. 🙂

    If you really want to know where I work, email me. The public link directs to my (currently solemnent) blog, which includes a link to my website, which includes a link to email me. Yes, it’s circuitous, but this way I avoid email-harvesting-droids. Feel free to drop by whenever you’re in this part of the country. 🙂

  28. Stone K says

    May 10, 2009 at 1:49 pm - May 10, 2009

    When I was in Culinary school we had a student run restaurant that was part of the degree requirements. I had teamed up with a good friend of mine and we shared a station.

    Now one of the things I learned about Serving, give the people what they want…

    My friend was a very tall, thin and attractive young man, me… not so much *grin*. We also happen to be in San Fransisco, so we had a number of gay couples come in for dinner.

    I quickly noticed I got bigger tips with families and old folks, and my partner got bigger tips with young couples and gay males (we broke about even with lesbian couples… Can’t win them all).

    I made it a strict point to divide our work according to the odds of biggest tips… Worked like a charm.

  29. Peter Hughes says

    May 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm - May 11, 2009

    #27 – Will do.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

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