Not Proud to be Gay
Given the attempts by many on the left to discredit opponents of Obamacare by tarring them as racists, it does seem so many people are so fixated on race that they assume anyone objecting to the policies of a black politician must needs be racist. And yet, as America moves away from the ugly legacy of slavery and Jim Crow, more and more of us have come to share the vision of Dr. King’s great dream that we be judged not by the color of our skin but by the content of our character.
Still, however, all too many remain fixated not just on the color of our skin, but on any identifying characteristic which separates us from the “norm.” And perhaps because that characteristic put us in a disfavored class, we reply by becoming proud of our difference.
With gay people, the pride replaces the shame previous generations thoughts about our difference. Perhaps, had I come of age a decade or so before I did, I might feel proud to be gay, but I don’t. I’m not ashamed of it. It’s just part of who I am. One characteristic among many.
I got to thinking about this notion again when I was reading Tom Maguire’s commentary on the hullabaloo over a recent Rush Limbaugh parody (inspired by a Newsweek article on race). He offers an excerpt from the piece:
That leads to the question that everyone wonders but rarely dares to ask. If “black pride” is good for African-American children, where does that leave white children? It’s horrifying to imagine kids being “proud to be white.”
So, I wondered why we still dwell on such notions of ethnic pride. It is a good thing to be aware of our heritage and the traditions and accomplishments of our forebears and peers. But, sometimes it seems the notion of pride causes us to dwell on the identity of which we are proud and make it the very focus of our being.
FROM THE COMMENTS: Young Padawan offers: “It’s interesting the idea that once what separated people was the shame of being different but now it’s changed to the pride of being different.”
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I’m proud to be an American, and I’m proud to be a Marine. (Ooh rah!)
I happen to be female, gay, Catholic.
As far as being a Red Sox fan — that’s a class unto itself.
Comment by Julie Kelleher — September 18, 2009 @ 7:24 pm - September 18, 2009
But, sometimes it seems the notion of pride causes us to dwell on the identity of which we are proud and make it the very focus of our being.
You can only be proud of your identity and heritage as long as it’s politically correct.
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 18, 2009 @ 7:32 pm - September 18, 2009
We should all be proud of African heritage, but you can’t be proud of white Southern Confederates or the “hillbilly” Scots & Irish.
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 18, 2009 @ 7:34 pm - September 18, 2009
I have, on a few occasions, described myself as a “flaming heterosexual.”
Intellectually, I don’t see the point in taking pride in anything you didn’t have to work for. But, then again, I was born an American, though I’m proud to be one, and I’m proud of my daughter, though I wouldn’t exactly call making her “work.”
I guess, to put it together, pride is a personal thing. Go ahead and display it. But shouting it just makes you look like a tool.
Comment by Obi-Wandreas — September 18, 2009 @ 9:05 pm - September 18, 2009
It’s interesting the idea that once what separated people was the shame of being different but now it’s changed to the pride of being different.
And commenting on your last paragraph, I think it is good that people focus on who they are as beings because it makes people want to learn about their heritage. If it wasn’t for these people, I wouldn’t have been able to take a Queer Studies class, which is part of a Queer Studies Minor which focuses on histories, contemporary experiences, and community-based knowledges of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender people, intersexed people, queers, and others who occupy non-heterosexist and non-normative gender positional ties (description taken from CSUN‘s website). This would never have happened in the 1950s when being gay was considered a shame; they’d just try to hide it away.
Though I agree with idea of judging people based on the content of their character, I think it’s more important nowadays to judge how a person is able to use their differences to achieve a common good.
Comment by Young Padawan — September 18, 2009 @ 9:23 pm - September 18, 2009
Gay “pride”, as it were, has always seemed to me to be simply silly. I’ve a list of quite impressive (if I say so myself) accomplishments that have nothing to do with (if you don’t mind my saying) the fact that I suck cock. (Okay, perhaps I can take pride in that I do that well? Anyway…)
Story be told, I’m much more proud of what I’ve done than of what I am.
Comment by ColoradoPatriot — September 18, 2009 @ 10:32 pm - September 18, 2009
Story be told, I’m much more proud of what I’ve done than of what I am.
That doesn’t fly in the Affirmative Action society. What you’ve done doesn’t mean squat. And yes, “Gay Pride” is silly.
which is part of a Queer Studies Minor
Hey! Maybe you can tell me who the “leaders of the gay community” are. I can’t seem to find out who they are, when we have the elections and how they’re supposed to represent me. I never got my handbook and membership card, so I have no idea how that works.
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 19, 2009 @ 2:29 am - September 19, 2009
I can understand the reasons “gay pride” came about, but I believe in most areas of this country at least it has outlived its usefulness and instead has morphed into something else I personally do not care for. No, I feel no “pride” in being gay nor do I feel shame. It’s just a part of who I am.
Comment by John — September 19, 2009 @ 11:11 am - September 19, 2009
I’m not doing anything with my gayness at the moment, so I hardly even notice it’s there.
Comment by Ashpenaz — September 19, 2009 @ 1:07 pm - September 19, 2009
#8
Exactly. And might I add that I’m not “Self-loathing” either. Don’t even know what the hell a Jewish Nazi is, so I’m fairly certain that doesn’t apply.
Comment by ThatGayConservative — September 19, 2009 @ 4:32 pm - September 19, 2009
Everyone should have great pride in themselves. But they should keep it to themselves. Parading down the street in San Francisco naked is not pride. It is plain old showing off – and most of them would look far better with clothes on.
Comment by John W — September 19, 2009 @ 5:31 pm - September 19, 2009
Jewish Nazi–isn’t that sort of being like an African Slavetrader? Oh, wait, that’s Obama’s ancestry!
Comment by Ashpenaz — September 19, 2009 @ 7:39 pm - September 19, 2009
Jewish Nazis? Wouldn’t Kapos qualify?
Comment by DaveP. — September 20, 2009 @ 6:48 am - September 20, 2009
[...] Not Proud to be Gay [...]
Pingback by GayPatriot » Not Proud To Be Gay, Redux — September 20, 2009 @ 10:29 am - September 20, 2009
Dan, like most things, there are extremes when it comes to pride. Frankly, I think it’s a good thing to be proud of what we are. Whether it’s a quality or characteristic that is shared by a lot of people, or a small percentage of people. I think pride in being gay is important, because despite the increasing acceptance, there is still a ways to go. Peronally, I found it empowering to not only accept myself as gay, but to be proud of it and wouldn’t want it any other way, at this point. On the other hand, if the pride ends there, and we don’t accomplish anything else, then it’s meaningless. And even worse, a person excusing bad behavior on something they are proud of.
Sometimes people do focus on a part of one’s identity that one believes is subject to injustice. This is not limited to just the Black and gay community. The Jewish community still deals with anti-Semitism on a regular basis, and rightly point out when it occurs. And we also see this within a community as well. For example, those within the gay community with whose ideology differ from most.
As far as being a Red Sox fan — that’s a class unto itself.
Julie, as a big time Yankees fan, I’m afraid I couldn’t agree more, but not in the same way you believe.
Comment by Pat — September 20, 2009 @ 1:33 pm - September 20, 2009
very well said, Pat, esp in your first ¶,
Comment by B. Daniel Blatt — September 20, 2009 @ 5:38 pm - September 20, 2009
This is all fine until your cracker friends drag you behind a truck.
Comment by Dr Zen — September 20, 2009 @ 6:05 pm - September 20, 2009
Of course, Mr. Blatt was born Jewish as well as gay. Funny how he’ll stand up for the understandable pride of one group and not the other.
Comment by SomeNYGuy — September 20, 2009 @ 9:25 pm - September 20, 2009
Personally, I’m pretty proud of the fact that fagbashers kicked in my ribs, yet I survived and didn’t live in fear because of it. I survived a adolescence where I was told I should kill myself, and I’m no longer ashamed of it. When nobody else would touch our brothers dying of AIDS, my other brothers and I nursed them and stayed with them until they died.
If you’re not proud of what you are, Dan, maybe that’s because you’ve had it pretty easy, mostly because of those of us who fought for your rights when it was hard, and worked to push back the stigma before you had to live under it, and demonstrated our capacity for compassion that you’ve never had to live.
I don’t expect gratitude from a conservative, but I do expect you to think things through before you post.
On the other hand, if I were you, I wouldn’t be terribly proud either. Because you’ve done nothing to better anybody’s lot, and from the looks of things, you’re not going to anytime soon.
Comment by SJohn — September 21, 2009 @ 2:45 am - September 21, 2009
Well, the Talmud is maybe a little bit more of a cultural accomplishment than, say, inventing Rainbow Rings.
Comment by Throbert McGee — September 21, 2009 @ 3:23 am - September 21, 2009
Bless your heart, you’re the poster child for the self-loathing gay. Get off my team.
Comment by njgeoffery — September 21, 2009 @ 9:05 am - September 21, 2009
Get off the cross SJohn, we need the wood.
By your standards, I should be proud to be tolerant after being beat on by a black kid when I was four, I should be proud of being straight when I’ve had two bad marriages, and I should be proud that I’ve beat anorexia.
Guess what. I’m not ‘proud’ I’m a straight fat white guy. It’s just part of who I am.
Dan’s done a good job of balancing all the aspects that make up B. ‘Beowulf’ Daniel Blatt. And, if I’m not putting words in his mouth, he’s a more well rounded person because of it.
Comment by The_Livewire — September 21, 2009 @ 9:42 am - September 21, 2009
What an astonishingly ignorant, dishonest and offensive remark. Do you really equate the invaluable and historic contributions of gay men and women throughout history, from the ancient Greeks to the present day in the arts, sciences, politics, etc. with “rainbow rings”? Hang your head in shame — or better still, get an education.
Comment by SomeNYGuy — September 21, 2009 @ 12:59 pm - September 21, 2009
Gordon Brown last night issued a posthumous apology to Enigma codebreaker Alan Turing for the ‘appalling’ way he was punished for being gay.
The Prime Minister said he was ‘deeply sorry’ for the inhumane treatment of the Cambridge mathematician – 53 years after his death.
Thirty thousand people had signed a petition seeking an apology for Mr Turing, who was credited by Winston Churchill with making the biggest single contribution to the Allied victory in World War II.
Mr Turing worked at top secret Bletchley Park during the war and helped create the device that deciphered messages encoded by Nazi Enigma machines. Cracking the codes helped save Britain from German conquest.
After the war, he did ground-breaking work on early computer technology and is often referred to as the father of modern computer science.
But in 1952 he was prosecuted for gross indecency after admitting a sexual relationship with a man.
He was chemically castrated as an experimental ‘treatment’ and stripped of his security clearance, meaning he could not continue work for the Government Communications Headquarters. Two years later he killed himself, aged 41, by eating an apple laced with cyanide.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1212703/Gordon-Brown-apologises-gay-WW2-code-breaker-Alan-Turing-appalling-persecution.html#ixzz0RlPgGPRw
Comment by rusty — September 21, 2009 @ 1:40 pm - September 21, 2009
SomeNJguy,
Funny, I don’t look at contributions of individual men and women as a ‘culture’ thing.
I like some of Elton John’s music, I don’t look at it as a ‘gay’ contribution anymore than I look at Billy Joels as a ‘straight’ contribution.
If you want to point me to a ‘gay’ Torah or Bible, or (even) koran, knock yourself out.
Comment by The_Livewire — September 21, 2009 @ 2:41 pm - September 21, 2009
Not surprising that you would make up your own “rules” the way you make up your own “facts.”
Comment by SomeNYGuy — September 21, 2009 @ 2:50 pm - September 21, 2009
IOW, someNJguy “I can’t, so I’ll resort to insulting you.”
Thank you for proving my point. Tell you what, I’m tolerant and open minded so just as I don’t look at Elton John as a contribution to some ‘gayish’ school of thougt, I’ll not look at your smear as one either.
Comment by The_Livewire — September 21, 2009 @ 2:58 pm - September 21, 2009
Perhaps Livewire can get over his obsession with Elton John long enough to consider Plato. Alexander the Great, Michelangelo, Tchaikovsky, Aaron Copeland, Walt Whitman, Tennessee Williams, Cole Porter, Dag Hammarskjold, Alan Turing (see “rusty” above)… and I could go on and on, but what’s the point of arguing with a dining room tab;e (as another notable gay man once said.)
Comment by SomeNYGuy — September 21, 2009 @ 3:16 pm - September 21, 2009
Given the brutality with which Alexander conquered the east, I don’t find him a particularly compelling person to be proud of. And while Socrates may have had the hots for Alcibiades, Plato was certainly not “gay.” Go read his LAWS if you don’t believe me.
As to calling someone from antiquity “gay,” well, that’s a bit of a anachronism. The Greeks, many of whom took male lovers as well as female, didn’t see sexuality as “fixed” construct as we do today. And yes, there were some (e.g., Agathon and Pausanias in The Symposium) who appeared to be exclusively gay, most people of whom we have “anecdotal evidence” notably Alexander took both female as well as male lovers.
But, did the contributions of the other notables (esp. Michelangelo, Tchaikovsky, Aaron Copeland and Walt Whitman) grow out of some gay culture or their (for lack of better term) “gay sensibility.”
And therein lies the difference.
Comment by B. Daniel Blatt — September 21, 2009 @ 3:46 pm - September 21, 2009
“but what’s the point of arguing with a dining room tab;e”
I know, and yet I keep arguing with you anyway… I was unaware of these examples (by the way, you forgot Sapho, and Oscar Wilde) were united by eons of similar culture, history and teachings.
Again, I asked if you cold find a ‘gayish’ work like the Talmud/Bible/Koran etc. Again,you failed. Surely if this is all you have, then you should be awed and humbled by the number of straight contrbutions to society.
BTW, research in wikipedia hints he was bi. Though I’ll admit using wikipedia for researching anything besides comics is like listening to gillie for factual input.
Comment by The_Livewire — September 21, 2009 @ 3:49 pm - September 21, 2009
d’oh he = Tchaikovsky.
Comment by The_Livewire — September 21, 2009 @ 3:49 pm - September 21, 2009
So, just figured I would ask this to gauge the level of inherent hypocrisy you harbor…. are you proud to be an American? I assume you are given that you’re blog name is GayPatriot. If so, why? Chances are, you were born here, so you didn’t have to work to become an American…. You just are due to a completely random act which you had no control over what so ever. In your own words, it’s “one characteristic among many.”
And I’m not sure I can comprehend the people in the comments section who seem to think gay pride is (or always has been) “silly.” If it wasn’t for people being proud of being gay (and thus fighting to be treated like fellow human beings), you wouldn’t enjoy many of the freedoms you probably do now….. Ya know, small freedoms….. like not being fired for being gay, being allowed to have gay sex in your own home without having to worry about the cops battering down your door and arresting you, etc…. ya know, just small stuff. Being gay may just be “part” of who you are, but it’s integral to your happiness and self determination to be allowed to BE gay openly and thus I don’t see how anyone could sit there and pompously denigrate gay pride as if it hasn’t been that very pride that’s enabled you to be openly gay, and not discriminated because of it, in the first place.
Comment by LivingDead — September 21, 2009 @ 8:32 pm - September 21, 2009
Great thought provoking post. Great blog in general, actually…I just found it through a link on Michele Malkin’s site. And am very glad I did.
Don’t sweat being gay, don’t let it drive you, don’t let it drag you down. I am as Southern and hetero as they get, and let me tell you, there are tons of us “normal” (lol) folks out here that could care less about anyone’s orientation or color. To your point about letting some sort of supposedly non-normal (lol) identifier driving your focus, I agree…that it shouldn’t be the case. Gay Americans ARE AMERICANS. African-Americans ARE ALSO JUST AMERICANS..and who cares? Enlightened folks don’t…Live your lives to the code of the US Constitution – pursue your life, liberty, and certainly your own happiness. Small-minded folks be-danged.
If America is to survive this latest attempt at dragging us down to the level of a socialist entity, everyone of our like-minded opinion will be needed for the struggle, be they gay or “straight” (or bi), male/female, white, black, yellow, red, green or purple.
Anyway, Rock On! with your blog – I’m glad I have another one to add to my bookmarks for ‘sound opinions and commentary’.
Comment by SubSonic — September 21, 2009 @ 11:02 pm - September 21, 2009
I’m proud to be Canadian, yo!
Comment by corona — September 22, 2009 @ 2:15 am - September 22, 2009
[...] Proud To Be Gay” Loved this take by my occasional drinking buddy, B. Daniel Blatt, aka Gay Patriot West: Given the attempts by many on the left to discredit opponents of Obamacare by tarring them as [...]
Pingback by “Not Proud To Be Gay” | Amy Alkon on MND — September 22, 2009 @ 10:43 am - September 22, 2009
Dan I enjoyed your post. I agree with most of what you said, however as a scientist and a researcher in LGBT psychology I can tell you that pride in oneself, albeit from ones sexual orientation, ones own achievements in life, or both is a much healthier state than simply being ashamed or indifferent of who and what they are.
When dealing with LGBT youth I often see extreme interpersonal turmoil. If it was not for the fact they could have some pride for surviving the torments and tortuous tribulations they would simply be another statistic for me to quote at a conference about the high suicide rate amongst LGBT teens because of social prejudice and legal discrimination. I say legal discrimination by meaning the denial of fundamental rights, and slim protections that offer no protection for hate speech, which is the largest cause of why LGBT teens take their lives.
Many of us at the APA and ASA feel that it is imperative that we enact laws that prevent the legal physical and verbal discrimination against any group of people. So far we protect religion, race, and ethnicity with strict laws that forbid hate speech. It is time we add gender, sexual orientation, and gender identity to that list.
Am I proud to be gay. Yes and no. I am proud of the fact that I am different in yet another way from the “normal” idiocy of the society around me. I would also say I am not for I am not proud that every day I wake up I have to live in a country with a black president who feels that LGBT Americans are not worthy of anything but second class status when he himself should know what that feeling of being treated as different feels like.
I am not proud of the fact that every five hours an LGBT teen takes his or her life in this country, and for everyone that does twenty more try all because we allow a free pass for discrimination if it is based on religious ideals rather than listen to ethical thinking and scientific evidence. I am not proud of a country that believes that scientific evidence is obligatory to the opinion of religious sects, cults and leaders. Although I am proud of who I am and who I have become, I am not proud to be an American or even associated with this country at this point in time.
I ask the people of this blog one important question, one that I was asked by a great LGBT psychologist long ago. Whether or not you take pride in the fact that you can live in a world that treats you below second class, would the child you once were look up to the man or women you have become?
Comment by Chris — December 18, 2009 @ 12:02 pm - December 18, 2009