You only find the perfect gifts when you’re not looking . . .
I just returned from last minute holiday shopping, actually, even though I’m Jewish, I can actually call it Christmas shopping as I’ll be spending Christmas Day in San Francisco with my Mom, my sister, her husband and their son (the most important person in the Golden State whose adorable mug has appeared multiple times on this blog).
Given that my brother-in-law celebrates Christmas, word is there’ll be some kind of festivities at their home. So, today, I made sure to buy presents for all and sundry. Until this afternoon, I never fully realized how draining gift-buying and present-wrapping can be. It may well have been that I had no idea what I was getting for anyone, save my brother-in-law, until I set out on my various errands. The good news is that I was also able to find presents for a niece and nephew whose birthdays are coming up.
I did learn today that one should never go to Target two days before Christmas. Farmer’s Market was manageable, but the Grove was hectic. I did find gifts for all, things that relate to family member’s various passions, tastes and preferences, but, given how much I spent, regret that I didn’t find any “home-run” gifts. I mean, I always try to get something perfect for someone, such that when they open it up, their face will light up, knowing that their uncle, brother or son knew what they loved, having bought something that they really wanted.
But, it seems that whenever I do find such perfect gifts, I wasn’t searching for them and end up finding them in seasons when gifts aren’t normally exchanged and birthdays are far off. Nearly two years ago, in Vegas, while visiting the Venetian with friends, I chanced on a store selling various Italian tchotchkes, specializing, it seemed in masks for Carnivale. There I saw a mask with a curving musical score painted on it. It seemed perfect for Mom, an opera buff,who loves such masks.
So, I bought it for her. Today, when I was looking, I found something I thought she would like, but it didn’t seem as unique, not nearly as special, as that particular gift.
That wasn’t the only time I found what seemed the perfect gift when I wasn’t looking. I am now looking at a picture of the third youngest PatriotNephewWest with a huge smile on his face as he clutches a flashlight shaped like a fire truck when I saw in a toy store long after his birthday (when I was looking for a gift for one of his cousins). The moment I saw it, I knew he would love it. And I was right.
Maybe gift-buying wouldn’t be so draining if we didn’t have to think about what someone would like. For it really does seem that you don’t find the best gifts, but they find you.
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Oh Dan, you should get everyone the most personal of gifts: cash!
Comment by Alex in Denver — December 23, 2009 @ 9:50 pm - December 23, 2009
Cash, YES. It’s never the wrong size or a color they hate. Sort of a trade-off between showing them how well you know them or giving them something you KNOW they want, fuggeddabout the “showing” thing. (Doesn’t work for a spouse, though.)
Comment by Polly — December 24, 2009 @ 12:32 am - December 24, 2009
Those cheesy commercials on late-night TV are lifesavers. I want a Snuggie — in forest green!
I’m getting one for everybody this year, even my dog and four cats.
Comment by Lori Heine — December 24, 2009 @ 2:08 am - December 24, 2009
I got one for my roomie Lori,
Problem is, she’s 5′ nothing. I should have gotten her a kids size
Comment by The_Livewire — December 24, 2009 @ 6:36 am - December 24, 2009
…And, you only find the perfect boyfriend when you’re not looking!
Comment by sonicfrog — December 24, 2009 @ 10:53 am - December 24, 2009
I go with gift cards. I give my mother cards for Applebee’s & 99.
Comment by Jim Michaud — December 24, 2009 @ 11:05 am - December 24, 2009
Another SF visit? How long are you in our pleasant little wreck of a city?
Comment by North Dallas Thirty — December 24, 2009 @ 12:27 pm - December 24, 2009
I reject the notion that we have to give ‘perfect’ gifts and elect to not give material items. (Cash and gift cards, to my mind, say “I had to give you something, but couldn’t be bothered to think of anything”).
I’m very happy to spend TIME on my friends and family!
Comment by Jax Dancer — December 24, 2009 @ 12:45 pm - December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Comment by Annie — December 24, 2009 @ 5:22 pm - December 24, 2009
I dunno Jax, I think though I enjoy time with my family and friends, I enjoy time with my family and friends plus material gifts from them even more.
I cannot speak for others, but cash and gift cards are my favorite gifts of all. That they aren’t creative makes them no less useful and appreciated.
Comment by Alex in Denver — December 25, 2009 @ 12:33 pm - December 25, 2009
Alex,
It comes down to the obligation incurred. “I had to get you something, so here is a gift card” versus “I saw this and it made me think of you. I hope you’ll enjoy it!”
Yes, cash is nice, gift cards can have merit – and I’m a tough person to shop for because I’m happy with my life – they don’t usually express much thought. Especially when looking for the *perfect* gift. . . And it probably explains why I do more baking to share at this time of year than at any other.
If you don’t know them well enough to ‘hit a home run’ with the gift, why do you have the obligation to get them anything at all?
Comment by Jax Dancer — December 25, 2009 @ 7:28 pm - December 25, 2009
Well, even though the gifts weren’t perfect, they were well-received and I got some pretty cool “swag” myself, including a nice blue sweater, cool, comfy slippers and coffee mug for my car.
Comment by B. Daniel Blatt — December 26, 2009 @ 3:02 am - December 26, 2009
(Cash and gift cards, to my mind, say “I had to give you something, but couldn’t be bothered to think of anything”).
Actually, to me it says “I like you, but you’re too passive-aggressive to please, so I hope you like this gift card from Home Depot. Fix that dangburnedit doorbell while you’re at it.”
Comment by Joe Noory — December 26, 2009 @ 6:51 pm - December 26, 2009