Have you ever met someone at a social event or in the course of your professional endeavors, started chatting with that individual, gotten to like (or dislike) him (or her) before learning his name and then upon learning his full name, saying, “Oh, so, you’re so and so!” You’d heard all about him from someone else. But, the impression you get on meeting him is the exact opposite of the image you had created of him.
This thought comes to mind (and not for the first time) for a variety of reasons, first, speculating about meeting one of our critics at a non-political event where we talk movies or history or whatever before finding out that we sit on opposite side of the political fence and second, thinking that there must be a movie which addresses this topic.
As I thought about this, I realized, the idea is much bigger than just a question of how we often create images of other people in our minds (based upon what others have said about them — or our own impressions of people in a group to which they belong — or who hold the creed they do). And then, there are the times, when, we fret over what we wear or what we say, fearing we offended somebody in some way. It’s not that we offended them, it’s that we fear we offended them.
(Or that if we do this or that thing, you know, like jumping in the pool less than an hour after eating, it will cause this or that adverse result.)
It’s all inside our heads.
There is more to this notion than this and I may to build upon it in a future post, but want to keep this one brief to get you thinking. Sometimes we do become victims of our imagination, seeing things as far different (and perhaps far worse) than things actually are entirely because of how we imagine them to be.
You are so SPOT ON! You’re exactly right and it really makes one think!
It’s not that we offended them, it’s that we fear offended them.
BDB, not sure if this is what you wanted to say.
Thanks for catching that, rusty. Fixed.
This is why I don’t like the partisan fighting in politics. I feel that even though people disagree on the issues when it comes to running this country, fundamentally a lot of people would get along in real life and respect each other as people.
My mother kept me out of the water after eating, too!
As for movies — “You’ve Got Mail” is a start, sort of. Similar, though the parties were not political opposites, but instead business rivals. She falls in love with an unknown online chat buddy, who turns out to be the same man she’s fighting against in the marketplace. Same story on Broadway, as “She Loves Me,” and on film in “The Shop Around the Corner,” and “In the Good Old Summertime.”
There’s a lot to this. I remember being shocked when I came out as bi that no one in my family or social circles hated me. I’m also what’s called “invisibly disabled”, and I’ve suffered orders of magnitude more discrimination from that (most of which from people who genuinely intended well but simply did not have enough information, there’s a reason it’s called “invisibly” disabled).
So the source of discrimination I most stressed about was all inside my head, while the one I didn’t think much about turned out to be far greater (demonstrated the importance of good communication in society). The truth is that people will never compromise with those they fear, this why why peace-based equality movements work while militant ones do not (Martin Luther King and Gandhi both come to mind).
And on an unrelated point, can we fucking all admit that marriage is both important and dangerous to tweak, and after the 70s it really is perfectly reasonable that the many scarred people with drug-ridden relatives are irrational about the topic, after watching first siblings or cousins fall into the welfare trap of drugs and abuse, then *their* children *repeat* the cycle? It really is fucking terrifying. I may disagree with people who believe gay marriage threatens to repeat that, but it’s hard to blame them for being irrational after *that*.
I do think that our thoughts as determines and moulds who we. I would say that we live in the empired state of mind where everything we do is decided judged and controled by the way we think beforehand. So never blame the light of the moment because all u have done now u have thought about before