A Note on the “It Gets Better” Video
Well before I posted last night on the “It Gets Better” video, I had received e-mails from several readers alerting me to Dan Savage’s project, each with an almost identical recommendation, “Even though Savage is a partisan jerk,” they said is in so many words, “this is a good idea.”
I write today, fearing some might misconstrue that prior post on the project. I’m not calling it a bad idea, merely questioning its effectiveness (as I believe Sady Doyle was also doing).
Simply put, I don’t know how effective this project will be. To be sure, it does no harm – and has the potential to do some good. It sets exactly the right tone — an optimistic, upbeat one, that instead of gnashing their teeth and bewailing their fate, young gay people can look forward to a brighter future.
That’s not the only good thing about the video. It doesn’t dwell on the evil of our oppressors (as do so many of the missives and ministrations of the various gay organizations), but on promoting a forward-looking attitude.
All that said, what teens need most is nurturing human contact. And we must never lose sight of that.
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Setting aside any emphasis on the evils of “the other side” is definitely a positive step. “Progressives” seem to want to keep gays of all ages in a state of perpetual fear and loathing of the dastardly Right-Wing enemy.
They do it hoping to keep us voting leftist, but it takes a terrible emotional and psychological toll. Who’s to say how many of the suicides they politicize and bemoan might not actually have been aided and abetted by these tactics?
Comment by Lori Heine — October 8, 2010 @ 7:07 pm - October 8, 2010
Don’t know if you caught this on the other thread, Lori, but those supporters of “It Gets Better” are now screaming “hate crime” over a sign advertising a rally at which Sarah Palin will be present.
And entertainingly, Sean Chapin, one of the biggest pushers of this whole “It Gets Better” thing, is now whining this on that post:
Amidst the gay suicide crisis that has taken an LGBT teenager in Minnesota alone, advertising Sarah Palin’s visit to San Jose right in the heart of the Castro is questionable.
So now Sean Chapin is blaming Sarah Palin for causing suicides.
Of course, the irony is that Sean Chapin and the rest of the gay and lesbian community would be completely supportive if it depicted hanging Sarah Palin in effigy.
It really makes you wonder if they’re truly as dumb as they act.
Comment by North Dallas Thirty — October 8, 2010 @ 7:37 pm - October 8, 2010
Absolutely. This project helps but doesn’t replace “nurturing human contact”. Heck, even without concerns over suicide the best thing for kids is to unplug them from Net and all electronic devices and kick them outside from time to time (i.e., to have them do fun activities that do not require electricity in order to do).
Comment by John — October 8, 2010 @ 8:11 pm - October 8, 2010
“It really makes you wonder if they’re truly as dumb as they act.”
Unfortunately, NDT, I think not.
In a libertarian magazine that sometimes publishes Yours Truly, there’s an article about the character — or lack thereof — of those drawn to careers in politics. Its conclusion is that many of them are at least borderline sociopaths. I think that is a spot-on analysis.
Comment by Lori Heine — October 8, 2010 @ 8:14 pm - October 8, 2010
It.s difficult to assess how effective the video will be. To say, ¨tough it out and things will get better.¨makes it sould like a magic wand will change everything. It sounds like a a slogan like, just say no to drugs. As much as Nancy Reagan is my favorite First Lady I have to wonder how effective her slogan was.
I have nothing but fond memories of my high school years, (two in a catholic boys high and two in a public high). Maybe it was because I was active in sports. Watching the video I was appalled their experiences. It also reminded my of the episode of Ugly Betty that saw last night, where her nephew, Justin, was developing a friendship with a classmate only to be rejected for being perceived as gay by his friends peers. The message I received from the video was hang it in there and it´ll all (magically) get better. There must have been some support from somebody. I thought schools had trained counselors to comfort the oppressed and classes given on diversity.
I am beginning to wonder if it´s cyclical. After Stonewall, organizations formed and we became involved politically, Attitudes changed as Hollywood made a rash of gay themed movies. TV had gay characters. Then with the rise of AIDS, we were tarnished and went through a certain amount of rejection. As the public became aware that it is not a gay disease we seem to be recovering. Now, it is bullying and hate crimes, especially among the youth. Yesterday, in the Bronx, NY, nine gangbangers from the Latin King Goonies sodomized several gay kids ass well as other tortures. The rise of hate crimes and suicides is alarming, we need to do more than give them a slogan, We need to nurture our youth.
Comment by Roberto — October 9, 2010 @ 12:35 pm - October 9, 2010
Nurturing is essential, yes. But I would also recommend self-defense classes. As much as I abhor violence, the fact remains that sometimes it is necessary to teach civility and personal space via knuckle to abdomen.
Comment by Greg T. — October 9, 2010 @ 8:13 pm - October 9, 2010
There seems to be something new — and even more disturbing — going on behind all the bullying. If the bullies are celebrating on social media because these kids are dead, and showing up at their funerals and laughing, then this is something all the knuckles in the world to their abdomens won’t resolve.
When I was in school, the solution was to knock a bully on the ass. If you did that today, would the bully burn your house down, or shoot you the next morning when you came outside?
This is a spiritual matter. I think it’s something mere retaliatory violence may not eradicate.
Comment by Lori Heine — October 9, 2010 @ 8:59 pm - October 9, 2010
Lori,
I hear you on that number, I really do. The thing is (at least where and when I grew up), violent retaliation and sadism on the part of bullies was always a part of the equation.
The only difference is now they have:
1. A new means to torture their victims from long range.
2. A new means by which they can brag about their viciousness whilst remaining relatively anonymous.
Like I said, I honestly wish that reaching out with the healing power of faith could bring an end to most bullying (I am a religious man myself). But there are many people whose minds and hearts are rendered so cold by society that neither the wisdom of sages nor the mercy of saints will reach them before they hurt someone.
In such a case, it is necessary to defend oneself, to simply knock that person down, if for anything than so they stop their attack at the moment.
Comment by Greg T. — October 10, 2010 @ 10:12 am - October 10, 2010