I always thought the term “significant other” was a bit clunky, so I’ve adopted the term schweetie to describe the individual who is the long-term object of our affection, spouse to some, boyfriend or girlfriend to others, husband or wife to the more traditionally inclined or just plain partner to the practical.
So, on this Valentine’s Day, let me ask those of you who are attached to provided anecdotal advice to those of us who long to be and to tell us in the comments how you met your schweetie.
Country-western dancing. Will asked me to dance and before I went home I gave him my number. He promised to call the next day, and then he totally surprised me by actually calling the next day!
My schweetie and I met in a park where there was a gay volleyball league playing every Sunday. I had gone there after mass downtown to read the Sunday paper, enjoy some coffee and fresh air. He was out walking his dog in the park. His dog recruited me. 🙂 Thank goodness he had the guts to call me first…I was still closeted and in the military, and although we exchanged numbers, I wouldn’t have called. I was too chicken!
I’m a personal trainer and robs next door neighbor was a client of mine. Rob was impressed with his progress, was looking for a trainer anyway so he hired me. We mixed. business with pleasure in a very unprofessional manner. . Saturday is our 4TH anniversary.
What schweetie? Bah! Humbug!
Isn’t it sort of a copout for the authors of the blog to ask about our personal information without revealing any of their own experiences/details? If you’re going to acknowledge the holiday, at least do something a little more challenging than open thread…
My schweetie and I met almost 29 years ago. I was 21 and he was 23. We both applied for the same job. We made eye contact (cruised) in the waiting area. I had my interview. He followed me out before having his interview. I started to walk home. He got into his car, pulled up along side me and asked me how long I had to wait for my interview. We talked on the side of the road for almost two hours.
2 children and 2 grandchildren later, love is still in the air.
PS. I didn’t get the job !
My partner and I met in July 2003. We both belonged to an online club, and had a gathering in DC. He was single and apparently, there was interest on his end. But I had a boyfriend, so there was no shenanigans. Since then, he dated someone, but by the Christmas holidays, we were both dumped. We then met in NY for a Rangers hockey game that January, and went to a gay bar afterwards. He was holding court with three other guys, while I was the object of affection of some hot, young guy who followed us out to the subway station, who I had to shake off with a stick (sorry for the gratuitous plug, but this doesn’t happen often to us non-GQ types). Anyway, we started to date exclusively after this doing the long distance thing for almost two years, and have been together for a total of 7 years.
I LOVE “How Did You Meet” stories.
Keep’em coming!
When I first arrived in El Salvador in 2005 I bought a chupadera (restaurant/beer garden). The first day I took possession, mi amor, was the first employee to arrive. He smiled, a beautiful smile, and we exchanged greetings. It was month later that we were together and have been ever since. The restarant no longer exists and he has entered the national police academy, but were still bonded in amor.
I know this sounds a bit tawdry, but I met my schweetie cruising the rest area near the NY/CT border. We traded email addresses, among other things, and started an online conversation. It was several years before we became serious but it’s been over ten years together.
I’m embarrassed to say that I met my guy through a phone chat line (a.k.a. sleazy hookup line) in the pre-internet days. We’ve been going strong ever since. He left me messages three or four times and finally my “whoremones” got the best of me and I met him. We clicked instantly, moved in together about a year later and now are getting set up to retire together.
He installed my cable 9 years ago.
And now he has installed his every night since then 😉
I was originally embarrassed to write this, but seeing all the unique ways people met their lovers, I guess I’ll share.
I got a dare to pick someone up on Craigslist. I answered an ad from a college student nearby who wanted to have his first experience. He was nervous and so we simply met up to talk a few times before doing anything. After a week, I knew I was in love. We will have been together four years this April.
Let’s just say I lucked out. And that we constantly argue over whose boyfriend is sexier. (I say mine is.)
I’m still sort of in the “bah, humbug” category (long story), but I have to admit that #11 was the best story of all! 😉
Regards,
Peter H.
Like Rob (#1), I also my schweetie country-western dancing. He was dating a friend of mine, but after they broke up (not my fault!), we went out for dinner and a drink. Within a month, we were spending every weekend together and I asked him to be my schweetie. 6 months later I moved it with him, his son, and his puppy. We’re coming up on 4 years!
A year or so after I started going to the bars, a friend of mine told me that I wouldn’t find Mr. Right at the bars. “It just won’t happen.”. I met Jaimito at the old Pacific Street club in Houston one night toward the end of December 1997. I had a habit of going to two other bars next door to see what (or who) was going on. I saw him coming as I was leaving PS. We smiled and kept on going.
When I got back, a few minutes later, I headed to a bar for a beer and he was there ordering a Coke (he doesn’t drink) and we started talking. Long story short (too late), we’ve been together 14 years on. Eleven of those years, we’ve been in an LD relationship. We’ve discussed breaking up, but we both love each other too much and prefer things as they are as opposed to being single again or meeting someone new and thinking about the other a lot.
If you do a thread asking about what “our songs” might be, Dan, I would say it’s Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion. Not a CD fan, but I love that song. Javi and I were at a gay bar in Laredo once. The song came on and we started slow dancing and I sang along to him. We discovered that we were the only ones dancing to it and everyone was watching. We got an applause at the end.
My ‘Punkin’ and I met through an old-school site(outpersonals) 9 years ago, chatting via email for 3 months even though we lived in the same community, (he was closeted), and then we finally met at an independent bookstore and chatted 2 hours non-stop. We had four dates after that and then started hanging on the weekends. 5 Months later we moved into a home together, light pink cottage with white picket fence and have been together ever since.
He still has the ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ tattered t-shirt.
an online hockey forum.
We both talked on my online game time discussion group.
Argued allot about the ref calls, and one thing led to another.
met in real life, argued allot, got married argued allot. Contemplated not being married anymore, then I got very sick.All those arguments got really stupid, and ceased in light of the real world of life.
It revealed what was really important.
It will be awhile till I am out of the woods. Love prevails.
Met my schweetie Vince in Saigon in 1974, he was a Marine gunney sarge and I was a communications officer at the American Embassy. We were just friends then, two gay guys in the service.
Flash forward three years, 1977, war is over, I’m back in NYC and Vince is in town on business from SLC, unbeknownst to me. We meet face to face quite by accident on 42nd St and Fifth Ave (my office was there). Two weeks later, Vince moves from SLC to NYC and in with me.
In ’89 we moved to California for my job and spent the rest of our thirty years together in the Bay Area. My schweetie passed in January 2007, just four years ago. There will never be another like him.
I had bad luck with office mates. One left because of a bad divorce – she had to move suddenly, and one left feet first – he committed suicide. No one sat in that desk for a long time. One day, they brought in my third office mate, because his permanent office was not ready for a few days. He told a friend that day, and me much later, that he fell in love with me at first sight. It took me a bit longer than that. But I liked him very much, right away. Liking is perhaps as important as loving, because it helps when things are hard, like when serious health problems arise.
We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and the easiest part has been that he’s still likable. I still like his jokes. I still look at him first thing in the morning, and think I’m a very lucky woman.
John…
That is a very touching tribute. How wonderful that you give your schweetie his due.
It does indeed. It was well over a year before Javi and I had an argument. We wondered if something was wrong. We have them, though and as the saying goes, we don’t go to bed angry. Thanks for your story.
That’s insane. How fortuitous. Glad you had many years together.
Side note: Were you there when Saigon fell (when we left)?
I met my first schweetie at someone else’s birthday party — he tickled me to the floor and then dropped cigarette ashes in my eyes (by accident).
That lasted about six years, but I’ve been schweetie-less since then… bah, humbug!
I was lonely one night and decided to drive over to see a friend, smoke a little weed (and I do mean a little; he was very stingy with it) and he had this friend over there who just wouldn’t look at me for a second. I thought he was incredibly rude. But he had a great nose and long hair. So when the friend kicked us out at merely midnight (on a Friday no less) I figured I’d drive the guy home and maybe we could hang for a while; I wasn’t ready to go home! Our friend jumped right in and helpfully said, “I’ll go with you!” GAH!
But the new guy sat shotgun and we got to talking about books and it turned out he loved King’s “The Stand” which impressed me no end. Then it turned out he ALSO loved Yngwie Malmsteen which also really impressed me because few did.
That was in 1986 and we’ve been married 22 years now. Kids grown up too, which…er, would be nice, if they would like get jobs. Been a long strange ride, I can tell you that.
#22 That Gay Conservative
My dad used to tell me that if you waited long enough, you would meet everyone in the world on the corner of 42nd St and Fifth Avenue. I guess it is true. I left Vietnam shortly before the downfall (all non-essential personel were called back); Vince was there till the bitter end (he was on his third tour of duty then).
Charlie and I met online as I was divorcing (friendly & amicable, we still care for one another and I’d not really considered a same-sex relationship to that point) and he was ending his gay relationship. We lived in cities two hours apart with each of us needing to spend time in the other’s city for work/family reasons. We actually started out just being chat buddies and a physical distraction for one another when we traveled between the two cities.
We both knew at our second ‘meetup’ that this we were in over our heads.
We celebrate our seventh anniversary next month and will enjoy the company of friends, family, ex-s and a wonderful menagerie of acquaintances as well.
I met Mark over Labor Day weekend in 1998 at the Duluth (MN)/Superior (WI) Gay Pride festival. I was living in Minneapolis at the time. I was 25 and had just moved back home to MN from a 3 yr stint at a conservative organization in DC, which is where I came out in 1995.
I was at the Main Club in Superior, WI, which is the kind of bar where gays and lesbians from rural MN/WI drive hours to visit. The owner of the bar, a guy who sued when he was fired from his job for being gay, used the proceeds he won in a lawsuit to open the bar in 1983. It was the first gay bar in Northern MN/WI.
I was alone that night, as my friend who was going to come with me wasn’t feeling well. About an hour after I arrived at the bar, I ran into an older guy I knew when I was growing up — he and his partner were very good friends with my parents.
I later went to the bar to get a beer and started talking to a group of guys. Mark invited me to come to the Pride bonfire with him and his friends. I gave him my phone number that night. Later that weekend, after I returned to Minneapolis, he called and asked if I’d like to go to the MN State Fair on Labor Day. I agreed…but needless to say we didn’t leave my apartment the entire day.
We’ve been together for 12 1/2 years.
One night, almost fifteen years ago…. I was bored out of my skull! I was sick of the usual hang-out here in Fresno called the Express. It’s a cool place, but I just felt there was nothing there for me. So one night I found myself driving to a more, shall we say, leather-ish bar called the Red Lantern. now, the voice in my head was screaming at me not to bother going, because I really don’t like the leather scene… But, like I said… I was bored!
As soon as I walked in the door, I noticed this one very hot guy standing by the bar, wearing a wife beater T, He was in great shape. I was somewhat shy, but found a way to make conversation by commenting on the picture slides of hot guys they were showing on the walls. Soon enough we were talking about education and physics and other brainy stuff…
Oh… My… God…. This fine nugget has a brain too!!!!!
We didn’t spawn on that first meeting, but, the dye was cast!
The Sonic-Mate Greg and I have been together for 15 years this July!
Those are all wonderful stories that brought a smile to my face.
In high school I had a guy that I liked and he liked me but my closested personality kept him away. I hate myself for it so much. I tested him out and he tested me out. It was fun. It was real.And I feel it went deeper than a crush. He’s in California now and I hear some times from friends that he’ll be visiting or something. I also hear he has a kid, but they can never confirm it, which drives me nuts. But I fell like he could have been it. I dunno.
Well count me on the “bah, humbug” list. I have had a few sweethearts, but nothing serious generally speaking.
Each was different, but all have had a few similar qualities. Smart, funny, beautiful outside and in, EVIL sense of humor, good heart, can give it as well as they can take it and are perfectly happy too kick me in the backside when I get to full of my self.
*Sigh*
Well at least I get to keep my money… Might not buy me love… but it’s mine =)
All I know about NYC is what I see on TV (except that I don’t believe 30-somethings all live in those huge apartments). I imagine with Grand Central and the Library right there, everybody passes by eventually.
Still, I imagine you have stories to tell.
Unfortunately, I have not found love to celebrate Valentine’s Day. The lesbian scene is quite boring. I don’t like the bars either. I’ve done the Meetup thing as well. But the same people attend the events. Does anyone have any suggestions? I don’t want to be a spinster.
Sandra, my schweetie, is my former wife’s best friend. I met her roughly a year after my former wife (Marla) and I married (I was still in college); they were both childbirth educators and activists, which is how they met each other and became best friends and stayed best friends through the years that followed.
Some 10 years later, my marriage ended; some months later, Sandra’s marriage ended (no connection; in both cases, our spouses asked for the divorce). Since we had known and liked each other for about 10 years, we ended up talking a lot, which eventually led to love and marriage.
My former wife, Marla, was actually happy that I was dating Sandra. You see, Marla and I had joint custody of our four kids, and she was worried that I would marry someone that she didn’t want raising our kids. So Sandra had her stamp of approval. After Sandra and I married, Marla bought (and put on her car) a bumper sticker that read, “My husband ran off with my best friend … and I miss her.” We all thought it was funny.
And, yes, they’re still best friends. ..bruce..
We met at a garden party. It was our next door neighbor’s daughter’s debut year and my parents hosted a reception for her. The deb’s father was a doctor and he invited this promising young dashing intern from the hospital to meet some nice young ladies from good families. Really. LOL. That was 26 years ago.
Last night I went to a concert by Bernadette Peters. Of all the songs she sang, I thought this one was the most relevant to the topic being discussed here. Unfortunately the sound quality is not very good on the linked video of a performance in Boston some time ago, but it’s still a good performance.