Living monogamous isn’t that difficult. It comes down to making a relationship a priority over getting your rocks off with a stranger. Granted, the latter can be fun, but the former is, to me anyway, more gratifying.
His comment corresponds with anecdotal evidence I have accumulated from successfully partnered and married acquaintances, friends and family members. Almost all report how easy it is to remain faithful to their partner. Some may acknowledge that attractive individuals continue to turn their heads, while others just say that it’s “wrong” to cheat (as one of my straight female friends did in a rather emphatic tone when I asked her why she had never had an affair*).
It does seem that for some, particularly those who were promiscuous in their youth, that monogamy develops naturally out of the relationship. Many realize that a “roll in the hay” (as it were) might offer a moment’s pleasure, but fails to provide the level of connection and intimacy as does their relationship.
Now, I do have some friends in open relationships and they do seem quite balanced individuals, so that arrangement may work out well for them. But, I also encounter a number of gay men who entered a relationship without either partner expecting to refrain from hookups only to find that, after a time, they stopped seeking outside sources of sexual ‘recreation.” Monogamy just evolved without either seeking it.
*After I wrote that parenthetical, I realized my question might seem odd, but in context less so. We were having a discussion of marital fidelity and knowing she and her husband had a monogamous relationship, asked her why.