Let’s hope this one inspires a spirited non-political discussion without polemic or ad hominem.
In the past few weeks, I have become increasingly friendly, in the sense of stopping to chat with three fetching young men in the course of living my life, but none in environments which are specifically gay. I am pretty certain (but not entirely so) that one of the three is gay.
With the other two, I get very mixed signals. A gay friend is convinced that one of them is straight, but each time I become so convinced, he gives some sign suggesting he might prefer, um, well, shall we say “intimate” relationships with his own sex.
A straight friend agrees that it is hard to tell with the last individual. And I asked him the other day if he thought it was okay just to go up to him and ask if he were gay.
He suggested instead I should ask if he’s dating anyone and see how he responds to that.
Did my straight friend give me good advice? How would you handle these situations? Do you think it’s appropriate to ask someone if he’s gay?
(In the comment thread, I will address how I handled another recent situation when I learned that my interlocutor was indeed gay.)