GayPatriot

The Internet home for American gay conservatives.

Lesbians & gay (male) porn

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Back when I was in law school, I would, from time to time, run with a lesbian quite open about her sex life. Unlike most women (I had theretofore met) of her orientation, she liked to sleep around (with women) and watch gay (male) porn.

At the time, I had thought this was one of her quirks, but as time passed, I met other women who love women who enjoy watching films featuring men, well, sexing other men.  I had heard there was a scene in last year’s The Kids Are All Right where a lesbian couple watches just such a film.  Well, the DVD just arrived from Netlix; I watched it last night.  (It’s a good flick, well worth your time.)

Early on, Annette Bening‘s Nic asks her life-partner Jules (Julianne Moore) if she wants to watch a movie.  A “movie movie,” Jules responds, all excited.  They’re going to watch two men, well, enjoying each other’s company in the back of a pickup truck.  Nic laments that the men’s chests were waxed (less of that masculine hair?).

When their son learns of their interest in such all-male cinema, he asks “Why do you guys watch gay man porn?”

Nic tries to dodge the issue, but Jules offers an explanation:

Well, sweetie, human sexuality is complicated and somethings desire can be, you know, counterintuitive, you know, um, for example, because woman’s sexual responsiveness is internalized, sometimes  it’s exciting for us to see responsiveness externalized like with a penis.

As her beloved speaks, Nic has a quizzical expression on her face.  The explanation doesn’t work.

She may be perplexed about the explanation.  I am perplexed about the phenomenon.  We gay men tend to prefer porn featuring guys doing things we fantasize about doing.  And these guys often tend to be the type we fantasize about doing them with.

So, why do some gals like to watch individuals about whom they don’t even fantasize — or with whom they don’t seek intimate relations — going at it?

Jus’ wondering.  (Yeah, I know I’m not the first to wonder at this phenomenon.)

Comments

  1. I dunno how lesbians would answer, but I’ll say that I personally find it interesting (once in a while) to watch X-rated stuff featuring women, and I think it would be fun and curiosity-sating to watch hardcore lesbian pr0n made by actual lesbians, just to see what gets WSWs (FSFs?) into a white-hot frenzy.

    However, this does NOT mean that I would get off on watching it!

    In other words, there’s a difference between “interesting as in entertaining”, and “interesting as in it makes me so horny I gotta go wank meself daft”.

    P.S. Come to think of it, I’d much sooner watch a lesbian pr0n video than a gay-male vid featuring chest-waxed twinks. I mean, I already know what man-to-man sex looks like, but my penis vastly prefers big hairy lumberjacks. So if BHLs aren’t among the menu choices, then I’d rather not get off to the novelty of lesbian sex, than not get off to the boring familiarity of smooth Ken-doll sex.

    P.P.S. You should also consider the possibility that Nic and Jules were fictional lesbians played by heterosexual actresses (and quite possibly scripted by gay men to flatter gay-male sensibilities, like the chicks in Sex and the City).

  2. Actually kinda simple. People watch all kinds of porn, some which is a reflection of what they’re actually into, some which involves fantasies that they’re not necessarily interested in acting out, but is hot for them when they’re watching said porn.

    And women’s sexuality is very different from male sexuality. I know lesbians who are into gay male porn, straight women who love lesbian porn, straight women who l love watching gay men, etc.

    Of course, I mentioned that women’s sexuality is different from men’s, but…

    You know, the primary audience for straight porn is straight men, and the guys in straight porn have gotten hotter in the last few decades. Methinks the producers know something greater society doesn’t really want to admit.

  3. It’s kinda interesting that over the years I have become friends with three lesbians (each in a different part of the country) that have displayed great collections of gay porn. Although all individuals in their own right, they all share the same professional position: HR Diversity Managers.

    They were all eager to show me their collections but were always disappointed when I replied, THANKS but no thanks. Never have had much interest in porn. Was turned off by early experiences of ex porn stars and their personal stories of working in the industry.

  5. I’ve watched straight porn years ago, but I kept my focus on the men in the films; eventually, I learned of gay porn & never went back to straight porn. The men are much more attractive in gay porn; they are more various in body types & age. You can have your choice of sub-genres as well.

    I do remember some lesbian friends watched gay male porn in college, but I never asked them why they liked it so much.

  6. I have a lesbian friend that just LOVES gay male porn. She has never shared why, but I have heard from others that it’s because the men are more attractive in gay male porn than are the performers (including the women) in most other porn productions. I dunno. People like what they like I suppose.

  9. My (bisexual) ex watched gay pron “Because she liked how the parts fit together.” She also thought Ron Jeremy was attractive. I thought he was the Third Mario Brother.

    All in all, doesn’t do much for me.

  11. Lesbian here who sometimes watches gay male porn. I admit, it’s hard to define what it is about it I like. In fact, it’s easier to define exactly what I don’t like about lesbian porn. I think it’s because there’s something lacking in lesbian porn produced by (and for?) heterosexuals. The scenes are too forced and the women either look like blow-up dolls or crack whores.

    I get an uncomfortable feeling when I watch some lesbian porn films, particularly ones from outside the US. Judging by their dead eyes and general lack of enthusiasm, I wonder if some of these women aren’t in fact porn actresses by choice but victims of sex trafficking, made dependent on drugs so they are easier to control. And the thought that the women on screen might be getting exploited in this manner is a massive turn off for me.

    That said, I don’t particularly enjoy porn produced by and for lesbians either. Too many butches and butch/femme dynamics, and I’m not into that. At all.

    I’ve seen mechanical, dead-eyed gay male porn, but I don’t think men are victims of sex trafficking to the same extent as women, and get the impression that the men are more in control of the scenario. Interestingly, a lot of “gay” porn stars are gay-for-pay only and often married to or in committed relationships with women outside of work.

  13. Porn is kind of ridiculous to me. It’s so phony to me, especially lesbian and straight porn. Gay men porn? Yarn. My preference is a movie with a good plot and storyline that has authentic love scenes. Even if the characters are straight, gay or lesbian.

  14. I don’t actually watch porn, but I do read erotic fiction. I don’t know why, but I prefer it. I have to admit that I read more male/male stories than I read female/female.

    I tried to explain it once this way to a friend of mine, it’s a similar concept to what Evan Hurst said about fantasies. A woman can experience sex with a woman or with a man, even a lesbian or straight woman can CHOOSE to experiment to know what it feels like. However there is absolutely no way that a woman can know what it feels like to have male/male sex and so they try to experience it vicariously.

    Not a perfect explanation I suppose, but it seems to apply to myself and my other female friends (straight and gay) who also watch gay male porn.

  15. Although all individuals in their own right, they all share the same professional position: HR Diversity Managers.
    A totally worthless and unnecessary occupation.
    Comment by V the K

    Here, now, there has to be SOME place to put the people who can’t do math.

  17. Straight girl here who enjoys m/m porn. I watch it, I write it (though not that hardcore – as a writer, am more into the relationship dynamic that happens to include sex than the sex itself), and I read it. I was a huge fan of QAF when it was on, loved the way they gave us really great drama with some really great sex (oh Brian, how I miss you).

    I honestly can’t point my finger to specific things and say ‘this is what I like about it.’ I just do. I don’t like straight porn because it seems far too choreographed, and the women far too plastic. The gay porn I prefer is of the grittier variety – more real (and yeah I know it’s not).

    I don’t know, I just like what I like even though I lack the parts to actually do those things myself. I think that part of it is that I really like the lack of roles in gay porn, and by that I mean lack of typical submissive/dominant roles so often ascribed to the two genders. I mean, technically, yeah there’s a top and a bottom, but in so much straight porn the female is always psychologically submissive, not just physically. In the gay porn that I like, you don’t see that – it’s far more equal, no matter who is receiving (and major bonus points if they switch!). Show me some straight porn where the woman straps one on and gives the guy a good seeing to and I might watch. 😉

  18. @17

    mouse,

    I find the QAF reference interesting. I’m a big BSG fan and was kind of diappointed they swept Gaeta and his boyfriend under the rug. I liked the (too) short lived Caprica because Sam Adama’s relationship, as well as Sister Clarice’s family were just ‘there’. There was no big production made out of two men, or out of a poly household. It was just accepted “Is Sam bringing Larry over for dinner? Ok I’ll set an extra plate just in case.” Nor did the writers have to ‘prove’ their gayness.

  19. Hey Moses, as the only Asian I know who is bad at math, I was able to find a viable career and not be a Diversity Manager in H.R. (Maybe because I’m not a lesbian?)

    Anyways, a little off topic, but I saw on Ace of Spades, that Gay Patriot made number 35 on Rightwing News top 40 conservative blogs list. Congratulations, boys!

  20. Sorta related to what mouse said, what I’ve heard from lesbians who watch gay male porn is that they want to be able to enjoy male sexuality without having to watch “a woman submit to a man”.

    I think the elephant in the room is bisexuality. Some lesbians are attracted to men. But attraction to men doesn’t necessarily mean they want to have sex with them. Or if they do, they don’t want it to play out like in straight porn.

  21. The one lesbian I know who watches it says it’s about “the energy”. Two men start off from a base of equality by gender, a certain cameraderie, plus there is the element of play in it.

  22. EssEm, they don’t feel the same about lesbian porn in terms of equality by gender? That’s interesting to me.

    Livewire, a channel that I think has done an awesome job of not feeling the need to ‘showcase’ gay couples is HGTV. You always see them on House Hunters and shows like that, just living their lives and being a family. For you and I, that’s no big deal…but for those who really do still hold onto false stereotypes about GLBT relationships, I think it goes a long way in being a positive force much like the show Caprica that you mentioned.

  23. @Donny D. I *do* think it’s an artifact of modern society that a man can’t comment on another man’s physical beauty w/o having his sexual preferences questioned. (For my example, I think Keith Hamilton Cobb is a powerfully attractive man, w/o feeling the urge to bed him) So I could see a woman wanting to watch a film to see how (as the ex-wife put it) “The parts go together.”

    @mouse. My partner liked HGTV a lot. It was one of the channels she’d leave the TV on for our dog, Rocky, (her: “Maybe if he keeps watching it he’ll build us something.” me: “Then leave it on science channel and maybe he’ll cure cancer!”) I lost interest when a) they started moving from lower/average income places to people who didn’t need a reality TV show to buy them things and b) when I lost her.

  24. I read this a day ago and was puzzling about the phenomenon, but some time later it occurred to me that one of the most well-known lesbians who enjoys gay porn is writer Camille Paglia. No doubt she’d have a pseudo-psychological explanation drawn from her theories about art and sex. Although I haven’t read much of her stuff in some time, I suspect she’d relate it back to her idea of homosexuality being an adaptation (a theory she had adapted from her reading of sociologist Erving Goffman), and she’d probably say that may gays and lesbians are just more curious about sex in all its varieties.

    I remember that the first time I encountered Sexual Personae a few months after its publication, the grad. school professor who assigned parts of it to a class I was taking described Paglia as coming across like “a gay man in a woman’s body.” At the time of the book’s publication she was rather mum about her own sexual preference, but that changed within a year or two when she was open about being a lesbian.