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“They hate me because I am a conservative who happens to be gay.”

Twice in the past twenty-four hours or so, I have received reports via Facebook of gay men coming out for Romney, only to encounter attacks from their gay peers.

People “are surprised”, one wrote, as if writing about my own initial experiences coming out conservative, “when I say I’m a republican. They ask me how I can be a Gay Jew and a republican at the same time.” The other had a “Question for you Dan! Why do LGBT people hate conservative LGBT people … I have so many haters right now!”

Yes, why do they hate?

“Let’s be honest,” the second man wrote

. . . the left doesn’t hate me because I am mean or brash or too aggressive – the same label can be applied to many of my critics. No, the left hates me because I have the audacity to stand up to them. They hate me because I am a conservative who happens to be gay. They hate me because I won’t be bullied by them. They hate me because I have dared to wander off the liberal plantation, because I refuse to play the victim card, and because I have rejected their failed big government, single-issue, tunnel-visioned agenda.”

He concluded,  “They hate me because I am a conservative who happens to be gay.”

Upon reading the first draft of this post, the first correspondent disagreed with the language used by the second:

my frieends and I don’t hate each other they just become another person when they find out that I am a Republican. I do agree about the victim part….I hear it all the time….ohh I am insensitive to the misfortunate, to old people, to gay people, to balck people….




  1. My son is gay. This is his first election and he will vote for Romney. He is a registered Republican.

    Comment by Carol — October 23, 2012 @ 6:23 pm - October 23, 2012

  2. I’m a Conservative single woman (and mother of 3 teens) and they hate me too. So much for being “tolerant” liberals. It only means that they hate anyone who isn’t on their bandwagon. And they only believe in Free Speech when they like what you are saying, otherwise you get called every name in the book. Stay strong!

    Comment by Sam — October 23, 2012 @ 6:26 pm - October 23, 2012

  3. My experience is that I can recite the liberal position on any subject. I could pretend to b a liberal with an academy award performance. There is no way in hell any of my gay liberal friends could articulate a conservative position on anything. And they are not stupid. These are successful business people with college degrees. They believe the majority of conservatives are uneducated hicks in flyover country, yet it is they who refuse to be informed. It’s one thing to disagree with something. It’s quite another to disagree with something and not even know what it is you’re disagreeing with. I find it astounding.

    Comment by Eddie — October 23, 2012 @ 6:39 pm - October 23, 2012

  4. I am not gay, although I was attacked online the other day because I am a woman voting for Romney. The comments were very patronizing-a sort of “poor thing you just don’t understand . . .” kind of comments. Which is at least better than being called names.

    I have a cousin who is a small business owner and a lesbian who intends to vote for Romney. Now generally she is fairly liberal and all about gay issues, so her various gay friends tend to slam her often on facebook and the comments are rarely kind or respectful. I have to admit she amazes me though, because her friends will make a nasty or snide comment, and she will respectfully defend her position.

    I can totally understand a gay liberal asking a gay conservative why they believe the way they believe, but I really do not understand that hate and vitriol from them.

    Comment by Just Me — October 23, 2012 @ 6:52 pm - October 23, 2012

  5. Liberals hate conservatives (and their libertarian friends) because the latter fills the former with self-doubt.

    Comment by Ignatius — October 23, 2012 @ 6:55 pm - October 23, 2012

  6. Sorry, the above should read: “…because the latter confirms the self-doubt of the former.”

    Comment by Ignatius — October 23, 2012 @ 6:56 pm - October 23, 2012

  7. Gay? Meh. Just like any other American citizen, as long as you are not infringing on someone else’s Constitutionally guaranteed freedoms, then it’s none of our business.

    Proud to be acquainted with another Republican! 😀

    Comment by Laura — October 23, 2012 @ 7:47 pm - October 23, 2012

  8. I do imagine gay, minority, or women Romney voters face more grief than straight white men like myself, but I’ve generally been sensing lots of nastiness from Obama supporters in general. (I’m talking of course about outspoken Obama supporters; of course, I can’t render a judgment on people who don’t reveal whom they’re supporting.) I don’t mean they’ve become unpleasant in general, but the way they are conveying their support for the One has become surprisingly mean and petty, based on what I’ve observed on FB. It sure ain’t 2008 anymore.

    Comment by chad — October 23, 2012 @ 7:56 pm - October 23, 2012

  9. They’re more unpleasant this year because the bullying won’t work anymore, the name calling and calling people racist for not supporting O’bama has stopped working. It confuses them and not being very bright since they need to get orders from the top they just become mean, which really doesn’t help their case so they keep getting angrier and more upset. They are losing and they don’t realize one of the big reasons is themselves.

    Comment by Catseye — October 23, 2012 @ 8:22 pm - October 23, 2012

  10. I along with most all my friends are gay republicans….I cherish that I (along with many others) I am different, and actually think,and dont follow the herd…..BTW…..most of us are not in favor of gay marriage….we have it made now, why change things!

    Comment by Bobby Balog — October 23, 2012 @ 8:53 pm - October 23, 2012

  11. My experience is that I can recite the liberal position on any subject. I could pretend to b a liberal with an academy award performance. There is no way in hell any of my gay liberal friends could articulate a conservative position on anything.

    That’s probably par for the course. Not too long ago there was a scientist who did an experiment testing the ability of conservatives and liberals to accurately sum up each others opinions on various political issues. He found conservatives tended to be much more accurate in their descriptions of how liberals descried their own views than visa versa.

    I’ve got a link to an article the scientist wrote around here somewhere and I tried doing an Internet search, but my ability to choose keywords apparently sucks today and I can’t find it.

    Comment by Thulsa Doom — October 23, 2012 @ 10:00 pm - October 23, 2012

  12. There is no way in hell any of my gay liberal friends could articulate a conservative position on anything.

    And if they tried I am certain it would run more towards a caricature of what they think is a conservative position than really knowing what the position is.

    Shoot Obama’s campaign is a caricature of what he thinks conservatives and Romney believe. Just look at the war on women.

    Comment by Just Me — October 23, 2012 @ 10:18 pm - October 23, 2012

  13. I think this might be for what you’re looking, Thulsa.

    Meanwhile, to Catseye’s point, what you are dealing with are people who have learned that screaming and throwing tantrums gets you results. Hence, when they don’t get what they want, they just up the volume.

    Comment by North Dallas Thirty — October 23, 2012 @ 10:35 pm - October 23, 2012

  14. If you wander off the plantation you are guaranteed to get a full volley of hatred and rage spewed at you. You are showing everybody that you don’t need the Left in order to survive and make a life for yourself.

    That’s the Left’s dirty little secret. That’s why they will hate you with every fibre of their being. Because you show the world that you don’t need them.

    Comment by spotted reptile — October 23, 2012 @ 11:23 pm - October 23, 2012

  15. Try being the ONLY conservative Republican in your family, living or dead. That is me. I am pretty much used to the patronizing comments some family members make. I find it is never, ever worth it to even try to discuss politics with ANY members of my family. Includes extended as well. There are some that let me talk if I make it amusing, but really there is no talking to most. And it is true that they have no idea real conservatism and what it is all about.

    Comment by Mark J. Goluskin — October 24, 2012 @ 1:06 am - October 24, 2012

  16. Yes while I am not gay, I get the same thing because I am Black (not African American) and Right of center.
    I been called Self- Hater
    House Negro
    I am just an escapee from the liberal plantation.

    Comment by Richard — October 24, 2012 @ 1:08 am - October 24, 2012

  17. “They hate me because I won’t be bullied by them.”

    No, they hate you because you might provide the validation for others to do the same and ruin the notion that all “true” gay Americans are Democrats. It would blow one of their affinity groups. They do the same thing to minorities and women who stand up as conservative. Not because they hate that person, but they hate that others might follow.

    Comment by crosspatch — October 24, 2012 @ 2:13 am - October 24, 2012

  18. Daniel if it is any consolation, I have also been attacked for allegedly being a lesbian!!! I am not, I am heterosexual. The circumstances for the attack were quite weird, you see I came out in support of George Zimmerman, who is being victimised by the State of Florida. I was a regular at a particular time and calling out a female leftist because most of what she was stating was absolute garbage. Another person (not the woman concerned) claimed to be outing me… except that the person had all of his details incorrect!!

    I sympathise with you and other gay conservatives because of the bullying that you have to take from these leftist idiots.

    Comment by StraightAussie — October 24, 2012 @ 3:47 am - October 24, 2012

  19. Thanks, NDT. Your link describes the study I was thinking of.

    Comment by Thulsa Doom — October 24, 2012 @ 6:35 am - October 24, 2012

  20. I used to live in Marin County, a blue-through-and-through place,(*) and I was terrified of being “outed” as a Conservative. I moved to a red state a year ago, but work with a lot of liberals, and I still have the terror of being outed. Admittedly, it won’t be as bad here–the liberals are not quite as nasty as they were in Marin. Actually, they seem a lot more like liberals did twenty-five years ago–when I was definitely a left-wing nut job.

    I recall having two very close friends who were Republicans, very knowledgeable, well informed Republicans, and also two extremely intelligent men. We had a lot of good natured ribbing going back and forth, but I, and a lot of their other left-wing nut job friends, never were hateful or vitriolic about it. (One Christmas/Hannukah during the GHW Bush presidency, a holiday card came out with GHW Bush on the front wearing a yarmulke. Inside, the card read “Hannukah Bush.” I got one for each of them.)


    I am Jewish and I have Jewish friends who are still drinking the kool-aid of the Wun and would dump me in a heartbeat as a friend if they knew of my intention to vote for Romney. And these are Jews who really do support Israel, and more than just saying, “I support Israel.” They get involved in the “buycott Israel” (the counter to the BDS BS) and travel to Israel. They seem GENUINELY terrified about the prospect of Iran developing nuclear weapons. They were involved in demonstrations SUPPORTING Israel after the Mavi Marmara sutff. And they SERIOUSLY think the Wun is the best bet for the safety of Israel. (They do live in the Upper West Side; I think the kool-aid is pumped in through the plumbing.)

    I quit going to synagogue when I lived in California because I got tired of the politics, and what contortions people would go through to tie the weekly parsha to the weekly politics. I’m still nervous setting foot in a synagogue here in my new red state home. There are STILL some left-wing nut job Jews who just don’t understand that their modern Mashiah not only had not effect on the rising of the oceans, but has messed things up to royally in the Middle East that if he is elected for another term, we could see WWIII–and terrible destruction in Israel.

    Not like I am a one issue person–they also don’t see how much destruction this man has wrought HERE. How he has packed his administration with liars, thieves, scoundrals, and cheats. The damage done by them–Hold’em, Jar-ring, Bevis (because he REALLY looks like one of him. Or Butthead, I am not sure which one is which), Clinton and her “aide”, Huma-rless, Rice… might be irreparable if we give this narcissist another four years.


    My point is, thank G-d there are a lot of us–Jewish, gay, Catholic, minority, even Union–who SHOULD be died-in-the-wool Democrats, but who woke up and smelled the coffee. Some–like the people of Gay Patriot, and many others–are brave enough to weather the hate of the left to write/talk/yell from the rooftope about the reality; for use wimps, we at least vote.

    Thanks everyone! Especially Bruce and Dan!!!!

    Comment by Lee — October 24, 2012 @ 7:53 am - October 24, 2012

  21. The 5 stages of anti-conservative grief: incredulity, condescension, anger, contempt, indifference.

    Proud to be a GayPatriot reader, Dan, and a Republican.

    Comment by Jeremayakovka — October 24, 2012 @ 10:19 am - October 24, 2012

  22. Leftism is a quasi-religion. The word you’re looking for to describe the reaction of leftists to gay conservatives is ‘apostasy’.

    Comment by Eric — October 24, 2012 @ 3:56 pm - October 24, 2012

  23. Thanks so much for your article. I was able to share it on my FB page and it helps to dispute so many of the misconceptions, that if you’re gay, that you have to be a liberal, Democrat and that you’re only concerned with one issue. Same thing that the Dems are doing with women and with blacks.

    Comment by Tammy — October 29, 2012 @ 11:50 am - October 29, 2012

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