I realize that this whole “almost ran for Senate” thing is going to get old and I’m the last one to beat a dead horse. But someone suggested today that I write some stuff about the experience that might be interesting for other people to read. And there are some things I touched on (a bit) during the radio show that I didn’t include in the “official” blog post. Also, need I remind anyone, a blog is supposed to be for crap like this.
GayPatriot Report – March 27 edition
One of the other big reasons for not tackling the Senate campaign is my health; the majority of which deals with my decade-long struggle with clinical depression. Again, this isn’t breaking news — I’ve discussed it on the blog here in the past.
However, everyone of a certain age still remembers how mental health issues derailed the Vice Presidential candidacy of Thomas Eagleton. (And no, I haven’t had electric shock treatments!). More recently, former US Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. seems to have dealt with depression to some extent – as well as criminal legal problems.
The fact of the matter is — I’m not sure I will ever be “cured” of my depression. I had a really bad turn in 2010 which resulted in my life changing in ways I couldn’t imagine. This is very personal stuff to discuss, folks, and not fodder for a political campaign — in my opinion.
Anyway, despite having my medication adjusted in 2010 — I still have bad days. Well, I’d have to imagine one cannot have a “bad day” if one is running for public office. And my brain doesn’t cooperate with me now — Lord only knows what it would have had in store for me. And what people would have thought about those “bad days.”
As I mentioned on The GayPatriot Report last night, our mental healthcare system is a total mess. Since I’m not running for public office, I can even call it a clusterfuck. Thankfully, I have only had to personally be involved at a primary care level — but my previous corporate job (also mentioned on the radio) involved obtaining an in-depth knowledge of the mental health system in the USA. Did I mention it SUCKS?
Read this book: Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness. It involves a much more serious case of mental health than I could ever imagine dealing with. But I witnessed glimpses of this in my job. We treat our seriously mentally ill citizens in this country in our prison systems. That’s messed up.
I also mentioned last night on the radio show my struggles with back pain. There probably isn’t a day where I can sit in a chair longer than 20 minutes without being in pain the rest of the day. I have worsening arthritis in my lower spine. And yeah, that also sucks.
And last year, while out on the lake where we live, I got thrown from a boat three times at 40 miles an hour. Yeah, we were going too fast and it was dumb. No kidding. Well, the stupidity resulted in my tearing all of the muscles on the inside of my diaphragm area below the ribs. The pain became so crippling at the GOP Convention in Tampa, I had to go on Percocet and have someone drive me and my car home from Tampa, FL. It STILL hurts and to make matters worse — I reinjured it last week. UGH! (Also sucks!)
I’m getting this out there to remind folks I repeatedly said that as long as I saw the doors opening, I would consider the Senate campaign seriously. Well, the health matters were part of a number of doors that began to close after I came home from CPAC.
Listen to the radio show. It explains a lot more. My decision-making was multi-layered and had many twists and turns. Nothing in life is as simple as we’d like it to be.
PS – I’m back to “GayPatriot” on Twitter. Follow me. It is less maudlin than this post, I promise.