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Piers Morgan upset that Republican Congressman opposed to gay marriage loves his gay son?

Seems CNN’s Piers Morgan is not much interested in the story of “Matt Salmon, the gay son of a Republican congressman” because the young man “refused to criticize his father, who is not a supporter of same-sex marriage.”  As Paul Mirengoff writes at Powerline:

The rejection of guests because they won’t serve as props to further the host’s simplistic narrative isn’t confined to CNN and MSNBC. I experienced it with a well-known Fox News talk-show host.

But using a son as a prop to bash his father seems to carry the joke too far. Moreover, O’Donnell and Morgan are missing the real story of the Salmons and the Portmans — the loyalty that stems from family love. Matt Salmon is loyal to his father; Rob Portman is loyal to his son.

Wonder who is going to examine the prejudices of Mr. Morgan (and Lawrence O’Donnell at MSNBC).  He seems to be assuming that because a man doesn’t support gay marriage, his son must needs criticize him.

Maybe we’re not as polarized on gay marriage as the sensationalist coverage of the issue makes it appear.

Actually there is a story here, one to which our friends in the media (and on the gay left) seem oblivious, that (most) opposition to gay marriage is not rooted in hate and that an opponent of gay marriage can love a gay child.  And that child can love his parents even when disagreeing with their views on social issues.

How many of us have relatives with whom we often lock horns on politics, but for whom we’d drive through a rainstorm to help them in their hour of need?

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55 Comments

  1. Why on Earth is Piers Morgan still on the air? His ratings are bad, and he’s horrible at this job….

    Oh… It’s TV “journalism”.

    Never Mind.

    Comment by Sonicfrog — April 9, 2013 @ 12:48 pm - April 9, 2013

  2. If you love someone, you have to agree with everything they say and believe and give them everything they want, when they want it. Right? I mean, isn’t that how we all live our lives?

    Comment by EssEm — April 9, 2013 @ 1:14 pm - April 9, 2013

  3. Um, I would probably defend my parent(s) too in similar circumstances. A lot of people would. His relationship with his father is his personal business, not the media’s. Why you’re politicizing it is confounding.

    He’s free to choose to believe that his father is not anti-gay. He was also free to choose going through reparative therapy.

    Comment by Vince Smetana — April 9, 2013 @ 2:04 pm - April 9, 2013

  4. Why do they insist a gay child must denounce their parent(s) for not supporting ssm? I’m in the same boat as Rob Portman and that Arizona congressman. I happen to have a sister who’s gay and there’s a few disagreements gay issues (actually I’m closer to views than is my dad). But we nonetheless care and love each other. Nothing changes. Piers Morgan, Larry O’Donnell, you’re complete assholes.

    Comment by Jonathan Gillispie — April 9, 2013 @ 2:15 pm - April 9, 2013

  5. Salmon said that his relationship with his father is the best it has ever been because they both agreed they wouldn’t allow his sexual orientation to get in the way of their relationship. The worst point in their relationship was when he was in college and had decided to quit so-called “gay reparative therapy.” “We still had a loving relationship but it was difficult for him to accept,” he said.

    It would be nice if his father supported same-sex marriage the same way Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH) cited his gay son in explaining why he changed his mind on the issue, Salmon acknowledged. “I think anybody would be a little crazy if they weren’t thinking, ‘Oh, I wish that I had that kind of support,’” he said.

    “I know it took me 20 years before I was OK with myself and I can’t expect anybody else to do it overnight, or change their minds in any sooner amount of time,” Salmon said.

    He also said he hopes his parents attend his wedding one day, adding, “I’m not going to lay that burden on them but I hope that they do.”

    Comment by rusty — April 9, 2013 @ 2:32 pm - April 9, 2013

  6. You begin to suspect lefties don’t really get this “family” thing.

    MSDNC is running promos where one of their anchors declares that children don’t belong to their parents, but to the state. (She uses the euphemism “Community,” but the intent is the same).

    Comment by V the K — April 9, 2013 @ 2:40 pm - April 9, 2013

  7. Speaking of the MFM ignoring stories that are harmful to the agenda…

    http://minx.cc/?post=338989

    Comment by V the K — April 9, 2013 @ 4:25 pm - April 9, 2013

  8. What we need is knife control.

    Comment by Ignatius — April 9, 2013 @ 5:27 pm - April 9, 2013

  9. It was also his choice to leave that “therapy”, Vince. As it is his father’s choice to not support same-sex marriage. They both made their choices, and are willing to live with the consequences. No law can make you accept a person’s ways if you don’t. That’s life.

    Comment by Douglas — April 9, 2013 @ 5:51 pm - April 9, 2013

  10. He also said he hopes his parents attend his wedding one day, adding, “I’m not going to lay that burden on them but I hope that they do.”

    Think about the quoted statement.

    It appears the little fellow does not understand unconditional love. It appears that the little fellow is trying to be a bit of a prig.

    What kind of self-centered, narcissist is so self-absorbed that he offers a form of pardon in advance of a situation that has not arisen?

    His parents have the choice of adapting to new realities entirely on his terms or slamming a door.

    Maybe he would be psychologically emboldened if his dear old dad made a pass at his lover and looked for hetero reparative therapy for himself and his mom took a correspondence course in refereeing.

    This is clown school immaturity on parade and it is an embarrassing, prima donna drama ploy. Even if the little fellow succeeds in pushing things to the point of pissing off the family, they will still love him. That must really be confusing, no?

    Comment by heliotrope — April 9, 2013 @ 6:07 pm - April 9, 2013

  11. Helio makes a good point (what’s new?). The young man is awfully confident and presumptuous that he will marry (and subsequently have the test case opportunity to see how much his parents really love him). Although the odds are not in his favor that he will find someone he will want to spend the rest of his life with (and will be successful at), he’s on the road to becoming a doctor, so that makes him more viable in the dating marketplace. Anyway, it’s kind of sad that he can’t be completely secure in his parent’s approval and love for him.

    Thank you to the always discerning Helio to point out nuance. While the young man is protective of his father, he inadvertently reveals just how insecure he is about his father’s feelings toward him. It makes me thankful that I have parents who love me unconditionally.

    I wish him the best of luck.

    Comment by Vince Smetana — April 9, 2013 @ 6:43 pm - April 9, 2013

  12. All this son-bashing is idiocy. He expresses that he hopes to be married and hopes that his family will attend the ceremony, but that he understands if they don’t — that an expectation that they do would be a burden. Most supporters of ssm I’ve met could learn a lesson from this young man. So could some blog participants.

    Comment by Ignatius — April 9, 2013 @ 6:56 pm - April 9, 2013

  13. Matthew Salmon Jr. . .“I know it took me 20 years before I was OK with myself and I can’t expect anybody else to do it overnight, or change their minds in any sooner amount of time,” Salmon said.

    He also said he hopes his parents attend his wedding one day, adding, “I’m not going to lay that burden on them but I hope that they do.”

    Comment by rusty — April 9, 2013 @ 7:47 pm - April 9, 2013

  14. [...] UPDATE via Gay Patriot: [...]

    Pingback by Religio-Political Talk (RPT) CNN, MSNBC Canceled Interviews Because Gay Son Wouldn’t Criticize His GOP Father (Dennis Prager & Ravi Zacharias Included) — April 9, 2013 @ 8:31 pm - April 9, 2013

  15. Updated my post from the early a.m. with GP’s comments:

    http://religiopoliticaltalk.com/cnn-msnbc-canceled-interviews-because-gay-son-wouldnt-criticize-his-gop-father/

    Comment by Papa Giorgio — April 9, 2013 @ 8:35 pm - April 9, 2013

  16. My parents are no longer alive, but when I came out to them when I was 27, it was very hard on them. They wanted me to go to therapy, which I did only three times before quitting. I was angry with them for this, and we had a fractured relationship at times for perhaps 5-6 years. But as all three of us aged, we became less uncomfortable about homosexuality. And they loved me very much, even though we did not speak these words very often.

    When I took my Mom off life support, I told her that I loved her, and that she would be with Dad. Tears fell from her eyes in spite of the fact she was in a coma. She understood that I did what was best for her, ending her suffering.

    Comment by davinci — April 9, 2013 @ 9:55 pm - April 9, 2013

  17. So could some blog participants.

    Ignatius, reread what Rusty posted @ #5. It begins with: “Salmon said that his relationship with his father is the best it has ever been because they both agreed they wouldn’t allow his sexual orientation to get in the way of their relationship.”

    Where does the expectation come from that Salmon is still bridled by some sort of leash of disapproval from the old man? Project, much? Maybe the parents are not in the full mode of “respecting” and promoting homosexuality. Is that the issue with you and perhaps Salmon? Is that why you decide it is “son-bashing” to point out that the little boy still has issues with who he is and feels compelled to issue a blanket amnesty for his parents in advance of their possible Neanderthal reactions?

    Man alive, you probably do think that gay marriage will deliver full equality of opinion and banish all disapproval of homosexuality from the world.

    Comment by heliotrope — April 10, 2013 @ 8:44 am - April 10, 2013

  18. Perhaps SSM really is just about “gubermint goodies” as we see in the past few days the road to “equality” must be also paved with funded “reproductive rights” as well.

    Comment by Richard Bell — April 10, 2013 @ 9:58 am - April 10, 2013

  19. helio, you’re full of it. Salmon Sr. disapproves of ssm, clearly. Salmon Jr. knows his sexuality was probably somewhat difficult for Sr. to understand and accept and he doesn’t want to pressure his obviously loving father to celebrate with him at his future wedding, considering his father’s disapproval of ssm. Is that so hard to understand or are you just playing sophist? As for myself, I’m against ssm. So you’re wrong about me, too. But that’s nothing new.

    Comment by Ignatius — April 10, 2013 @ 10:45 am - April 10, 2013

  20. More on Matthew Salmon, Jr

    http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2010-09-16/news/over-the-rainbow-the-namesake-son-of-conservative-mormon-matt-salmon-wants-to-make-a-name-for-himself-in-republican-politics-only-he-s-gay/

    Comment by rusty — April 10, 2013 @ 11:28 am - April 10, 2013

  21. Rusty,

    This article is quite revealing concerning how liberals are so anxious to drive a wedge into the relationships between the parents and the kid. In fact, the article makes it patently clear that personal relationships are so far behind the political games that the personal relationships hardly count. What could be better for the “gay agenda” than to have the kid “rise above” the Neanderthal parents and end up be “forced” to forgive them loudly and publicly for their belief system.

    My comments on this have been aimed at the inter-family relationships which should, in fact, be a matter of privacy. The little boy in this soap opera over-stepped the bounds when he came out preemptively as the magnanimous one in a potential family relationship rough spot.

    So lets play the game out, OK? Suppose the little boy wants daddy to pay for the wedding and wants all the usual family guest lists and come-to-the-wedding conventions to apply?

    Being mature and sensitive to others is sometimes way over the heads of people on a mission. I don’t know the details, don’t care to know them, have no reason to beat up on anyone. I called the little boy out for his preemptive act of forgiveness. It is childish and even a bit cruel. He had no reason to make that statement public. Having done so, calls his motives into question.

    Ignatius,

    You can oppose same sex marriage and accept it as reality at the same time. If the little boy has his father’s sensibilities at the core of his preemptive absolution, why make it public? Has he a true respect for his father or is he showboating? Unlike you, I have not engaged in projection. I have merely pointed out where private family relationships and pushing a cause are in conflict.

    Comment by heliotrope — April 10, 2013 @ 2:08 pm - April 10, 2013

  22. helio, I hope for your sake that your ignorance is bliss.

    Comment by Ignatius — April 10, 2013 @ 2:55 pm - April 10, 2013

  23. Heliotrope touche! You can wish for Gay Marriage, and you can wish for Santa Claus. Neither exists. You can call your Mom….Dad, and you can call your Aunt your Uncle. It doesn’t make it true.
    Marriage is between one Man and one Woman.
    Knock yourself out!

    Comment by Gus — April 10, 2013 @ 3:46 pm - April 10, 2013

  24. Indeed it must be as I have no inkling of where my thundering stupidity has shown itself. Ergo: I am blissfully unaware of how intellectually crippled I am noted to be. No matter, though. It doesn’t hurt, itch or give me any inconvenience whatsoever. Hopefully, it will provide you with amusement and bring you elitist satisfaction for not being so afflicted yourself.

    Comment by heliotrope — April 10, 2013 @ 3:50 pm - April 10, 2013

  25. I never actually “came out” to my parents, though we grew to understand each other over time. In addition, we had a lot in common since I was fortunate enough to have Mom and Dad as my parents. Still, both have passed on, and I would pay millions of dollars to be able to talk to them again … about anything. Don’t let this kind of thing ruin the time you have left with your folks. They won’t always be there, so do your best to keep communication open between you and the people who brought you into the world.

    Comment by Dottie Laird — April 10, 2013 @ 6:15 pm - April 10, 2013

  26. Most families love each other in spite of their differences. I see no difference between the Salmons and any other family issue. You can be unhappy with choices your children make or actions that your parents have taken but that doesn’t mean you cease to love them. I would say this has become an issue with the Slamons and Portmans merely because their fathers are in politics on the right. Nothing more.

    Comment by Texann — April 10, 2013 @ 6:17 pm - April 10, 2013

  27. Hopefully, it will provide you with amusement and bring you elitist satisfaction for not being so afflicted yourself.

    Consider your hope rewarded, as it is certainly well-founded in this case.

    Comment by Ignatius — April 10, 2013 @ 6:26 pm - April 10, 2013

  28. So lets play the game out, OK? Suppose the little boy wants daddy to pay for the wedding and wants all the usual family guest lists and come-to-the-wedding conventions to apply?

    Heliotrope, WHY make the worst-case assumptions about something that Salmon’s son may or may not decide to do 15 years down the road? WHY are you eager to attribute the basest of motivations to the young man?

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 10, 2013 @ 8:50 pm - April 10, 2013

  29. Regardless of our profound disagreements, it is agreeable to see you commenting again, Throbert.

    Comment by V the K — April 11, 2013 @ 12:13 am - April 11, 2013

  30. Luv it when Throbert stops by. So refreshing!
    Absolutely Fu@king refreshing!

    Comment by rusty — April 11, 2013 @ 12:58 am - April 11, 2013

  31. V – Isn’t that a Vulcan greeting? :-) “It is agreeable to see you again.”

    Comment by ILoveCapitalism — April 11, 2013 @ 1:51 am - April 11, 2013

  32. WHY are you eager to attribute the basest of motivations to the young man?

    He is being discussed here and elsewhere because he has become a political pawn and for no other reason.

    The presentations are essentially that a young “innocent” is navigating the rapids of being gay in a family that has spoken out politically against same sex marriage. Get it? That is basic drama afoot.

    The “young man” is the protagonist. Many sympathize with him and laud his altruism in forgiving his parents in advance of a marriage down the road which the parents might boycott because of their “principles.” This is, apparently, a Jesus move of turning the other cheek before you get slapped the first time.

    It is possible the father and mother are the protagonists? Probably not among gays who put same sex marriage first and can not really empathize with them. How do you see the dialog playing out with the Greek chorus? Is the young man the center of conflict or is it the parents?

    So who is the antagonist? Why, it is the parents, of course, for holding to a Neanderthal political principle that deny’s their own son’s the happiness every father should want for his child. What kind of a louse is that. And especially when the cherubic child goes way out of the way and “forgives them (the parents) for they (the parents) know not what they (the parents) may do” down the road.

    Maybe it is impossible for people who are so invested in politics to view this little micro-drama as: a) none of our business; b) a conflict between loving people; c) a prime example of one of the eternal struggles we have to learn to navigate in our p-r-i-v-a-t-e lives.

    I would commend Dick and Liz Cheney and their daughter Mary as role models in how to be in the political arena and pull this thing off. It is Mary that the Demonizingrats would have loved to have turn on her dad. Think Ron Reagan, Jr. here.

    Finally, I did not charge the young man with the “basest of motivations.” I called him a little boy. I am commenting on his immaturity and self-centeredness and the immature choice he has made during his five minutes of fame in a political spotlight framed on him as a means to help destroy his parents as part of a political strategy.

    If anything, it should be an example of how we will destroy what is good in families and the families themselves in our ham-handed quest to win political points.

    I wish the little boy all happiness and roses and the continued love and support of his parents. I also wish the little boy enough maturity and intellectual objectivity to see that he is being used and to avoid feeding the beast that is using him.

    It is crap or get off the pot time for the little boy. If he insists on going his counter-direction way as a noisy declaration, so be it. He is, however, living a life in which little treaties within his own family keep things on an even keel. If he values his family, he had best think out the treaties and keep them as valuable agreements.

    Children often act boldly and slam doors and enjoy the attention of those who have about as much interest in their lives as the average Jerry Springer audience member has for the clown on the hot seat.

    Obviously, my comments have struck tender nerves. Good. O wad some Power the giftie gie us – To see oursels as ithers see us! – It wad frae mony a blunder free us, – An’ foolish notion: – What airs in dress an’ gait- wad lea’e us, – An’ ev’n devotion!

    Are we putting on airs here or is the love between family members a bit more complicated than petty politics that can easily escalate into a vicious, snarky war of the roses?

    Comment by heliotrope — April 11, 2013 @ 8:20 am - April 11, 2013

  33. Oh heliotrope, seems like it is your lil’ sensitive buttons that were pushed.

    Young Matthew had the blessings of his father when he went out in front of the cameras.

    Like I have recommended before, a nice evening in front of the Christopher Plummer movie, Beginners, may be just what you need!

    Comment by rusty — April 11, 2013 @ 9:28 am - April 11, 2013

  34. http://www.usatoday.com/videos/news/politics/2013/04/10/2071155/

    Comment by rusty — April 11, 2013 @ 9:30 am - April 11, 2013

  35. WHY are you eager to attribute the basest of motivations to the young man?

    Because he’s a douche.

    Comment by Ignatius — April 11, 2013 @ 10:40 am - April 11, 2013

  36. Do you have Netflix?

    Comment by Vince Smetana — April 11, 2013 @ 11:23 am - April 11, 2013

  37. I don’t know Matt Salmon the Younger personally, but I have met and spoken with him a few times. I don’t recall that he was wearing rompers or a propeller beanie.

    If a young woman made the comment that she hoped her parents would one day attend her wedding, would we really hear a peep about how childish or narcissistic she was to — gasp — presume she might one day get married?

    If they were like some parents of hetero kids, and placed all sorts of conditions on whom their kids could and could not gain their approval by marrying, it is certainly well within the bounds of possibility that she might say such a thing.

    Some parents would disapprove if their son or daughter married someone outside their social class. Or of a different race. Or perhaps even of a different political party. And a great many would still get mad if the wedding were to be inter-faith.

    But if Matt Salmon the Younger says this, we KNOW he must be a selfish, self-absorbed man-child…why? Other than the fact that he’s gay, what might be the reason for beating the hell out of him here for making a remark that sounded, to me, as if it were meant to be conciliatory toward his parents?

    Comment by Lori Heine — April 11, 2013 @ 1:59 pm - April 11, 2013

  38. #37 — I meant to say, “if a young STRAIGHT woman” said this. I suppose if a lesbian said it, she, too, would be turned into a pinata.

    Comment by Lori Heine — April 11, 2013 @ 2:02 pm - April 11, 2013

  39. a remark that sounded, to me, as if it were meant to be conciliatory

    Me, too. When I read Salmon’s original remark, it sounded to me like: gay marriage exists in some States, I may have a partner someday and marry, I will of course invite my parents and hope they come, BUT (to put myself in their shoes for a moment) I can understand why they would not want to come; and if they don’t, I can already know that I will *not* be clinging to any grudge about it, because of the general commitment that my parents and I both have, to not burdening each other with grudges.

    A gay lefty would, I suspect, exhibit true narcissism by publicly proclaiming that his parents must hate him and calling upon his parents to un-friend him on Facebook or something. (Like that Facebook guy a few months ago… Totally forgotten his name.)

    Comment by ILoveCapitalism — April 11, 2013 @ 2:07 pm - April 11, 2013

  40. Some of us have to think back further than others, but we’ve all been in our twenties. We’ve all had expectations and hopes on how our families would respond to our relationships. For his age, he’s actually doing better with the situation than most folks. Think of all the middle-aged guys out here, still lamenting and emoting over the gay prom they never had. For all their money and education, they’re still emotionally 16. At least he’s mature enough to deal with what is as is, regardless of how he does it.

    Comment by Douglas — April 11, 2013 @ 2:16 pm - April 11, 2013

  41. Wearily, I stand by my comments at #10. How this Salmon kid’s family relationships became a public drama fit for The View or The Jerry Springer Show is beyond me. It is very, very small stuff, really. Probably some tiffs about marrying outside the faith or even a sect get rowdier.

    The problem here lies in a hetero (me) commenting on a gay site and chastising the child for opining publicly about what he anticipates may be a family problem and then issuing a blanket pardon in advance for the worst case scenario that may or may not take place somewhere down the road. And, no, I am not playing the str8 card.

    Of course the youth is not experienced at nuanced diplomacy. However, what he said has been made public and his whole family is under scrutiny on GayPatriot where gays and a few straights are examining conservative Republican parents who oppose gay marriage while their gay son supports gay marriage and hopes one day his parents will accept his gay marriage and presumably accept his partner as well. Have I got that right?

    The kid may have thought he was making a “conciliatory” comment. In fact, he was staking out his position publicly. That feeds the beast. Now he can get all weepy over whether he “shamed” his parents to do something they really didn’t want to do. Or, he can elope and by-pass them altogether and disappoint them, because they really wanted to share in his great moment of happiness. We can only project.

    None of us knows. It is far easier for families to work out their differences without a bunch of kvetchers at GayPatriot chiming in. That, of course, includes what I have commented here. And what I said was that the youngster should not have dragged this into public. For that, I am a douche who “attribute(s) the basest of motivations to the young man.” Actually, I called the little fellow a “bit of a prig.” I implied he was self-centered, a narcissist and self-absorbed. I based that on the fact that he would rather play out his implied conflicts in public rather than keep his family relationships private and work them out quietly.

    Clearly, my crusty opinions have not been well received. Somehow, however, this has touched upon root canal level sensitivity. Is that because generally speaking gays have real relationship problems within their families and such examples arouse a lot of projection?

    Comment by heliotrope — April 11, 2013 @ 6:01 pm - April 11, 2013

  42. Excuse me, Helio, but this young man is one of the leaders of the Log Cabin Republicans in Arizona, and a fairly high-profile figure in his own right. When his father made the statement (very publicly) about his own stand on gay marriage, Matt the Younger immediately found a score of microphones under his nose — whether he wanted them there or not. He didn’t go out looking for them; they found him.

    I’m glad to know how much wiser and classies you would be if you were faced with similar circumstances. It truly is an honor you’re here to instruct us all in morality.

    Comment by Lori Heine — April 11, 2013 @ 6:28 pm - April 11, 2013

  43. The kid may have thought he was making a “conciliatory” comment. In fact, he was staking out his position publicly.

    Another interpretation, Heliotrope, is that he was throwing his dad a slow softball pitch — by “publicly rebuking” his father in a rather gentle way, he’s giving his dad an opening to respond with a similar sort of gentle rebuke. Which, I would argue, allows the parents and their adult child an opportunity to disagree in a way that mutually “saves face.”

    Of course, it’s possible that your suspicions about the son’s motives will eventually prove true, but why jump the gun?

    Having said that, I would admit that lots of gays would be eager to attribute “the basest of motivations” to the father — that it was cruel and Procrustean of him to force his son into “ex-gay therapy” simply because the idea of a homosexual in the family offended his OWN self-absorbed narcissism as a Traditional Values politician. But (from what I little I know about the situation), it’s also inappropriate to make snap judgments about the young man’s parents, just as it was inappropriate for Heliotrope to make snap judgment’s about the “little fellow.” (For all I know, the kid was initially agreeable about trying the therapy; moreover, not all “change therapies” are abusive or unscientific, although some forms of these therapies definitely deserve their bad reputation.)

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 11, 2013 @ 6:42 pm - April 11, 2013

  44. I would also add: Even if the young man’s intentions were entirely honorable in this case, the line between “candid public disclosure” and “look at me, look at me” prima-donna-ism can often be a rather fine one.

    Moreover, inside every “bridge builder” there may lurk a ruthless schemer who builds the bridge in the hope of dragging the opponents kicking and screaming over to HIS side, rather than meeting somewhere in the middle.

    So — although I caution Heliotrope against judging Salmon Jr. too harshly — I admit that the kid might benefit from hearing Heliotrope’s criticism, lest he get a swelled head. (Memento mori, and all that.)

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 11, 2013 @ 6:56 pm - April 11, 2013

  45. P.S. Thanks for the good words, VtheK and rusty! It’s nice to see you guys, too, including Heliotrope.

    (As I’ve mentioned before, nowadays I try to avoid Internet usage that isn’t directly related to the learning and teaching of Russian language/literature/culture. It’s just my way of staving off the vast Time Sink monster that is the Internet. But as with any diet, it’s good to allow oneself “little treats” once in a while. And visiting gaypatriot from time to time is definitely a treat.)

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 11, 2013 @ 7:23 pm - April 11, 2013

  46. Lori,

    Being a leader in the Log Cabin Republicans does not ameliorate the washing of family laundry in public. It exacerbates it. Doesn’t that give one reason to believe that his private family relationships were trotted out for political purposes? Fine. Now he can go on The View or Jerry Springer.

    I will call again upon the classiness of the Chaney family and their daughter Mary in particular. Naturally, every family is different, but everyone in politics and out of politics can afford to benefit from a good example. We are dealing with people here, not the political agenda.

    It truly is an honor you’re here to instruct us all in morality. I regret that you hold me in that light. I will work on being more careful in disagreeing without being disagreeable.

    Mr. McGee,

    If the father and son are each battling this out with each other in public, then a pox on both of them.

    I have no “suspicions” about the son. Maybe I came off half-cocked by not knowing all the various public dueling statements between father and son. Understand, that if the father publicly said he would not attend a gay wedding, even if it were his own gay son’s, I would be all over him like ugly on an ape.

    Some family and domestic relations counseling is on a very nuanced level to help the players navigate with minimal friction to sensitive points. Other people just have to helped to keep from killing each other. I have no idea where these players are in terms of treading lightly and trying to maintain a healthy family relationship. My assumption, however, is that the parents are working on the basis of unconditional love. That does not make them perfect or even skilled at conducting their relationships. But it sure as heck works better if each player is equally committed and sensitive to the honor and integrity of the other players.

    Washing family laundry in public is rarely a good idea. When pressed, there is a world of noncommittal platitudes to call upon that should inform the average person that the subject is not going to be discussed.

    Clearly, I have handled myself badly on this thread and for that, I apologize.

    Comment by heliotrope — April 11, 2013 @ 7:28 pm - April 11, 2013

  47. So following up on the link at 20, I am willing to put forth that the Younger Salmon, having come out around 14, struggled with the family and their religious convictions, electing to seek reparative therapy in college but ended the therapy, thus creating a great disappointment for his father. . .an active member in the LCR chapter, a boyfriend and a couple of years of med school under his belt.

    Well, I think that Matt Salmon has taken the lead to show other young folk that he can stand firmly on his two feet and hold his ground as a gay man who supports SSM and still maintain the family bonds. From what I gather, young folk, both conservative and liberal, support SSM. Matt Salmon may be providing an example to many that one can hold onto the notion of SSM without the fear of losing one’s family.

    And heliotrope, if you missed it at 33, check out Christopher Plummer in Beginners

    And, heliotrope, it seems like most of the root canal hypersensitivity pretty much is making you twinge

    Comment by rusty — April 11, 2013 @ 7:30 pm - April 11, 2013

  48. P.S. It’s often difficult to have a freewheeling gay politics discussion with Russians on Russian-language forums. I govoriu the jazyk well enough that language barriers aren’t a problem (and it’s not hard finding Russians who can at least passively understand a written English phrase, in case I don’t know how to say something in Russian). However, there are definitely cultural barriers that need to be delicately navigated.

    Which is probably for the best, since getting into gay-politics debates po-russki would just be create another Time Sinkhole in my life…

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 11, 2013 @ 7:35 pm - April 11, 2013

  49. Washing family laundry in public is rarely a good idea. When pressed, there is a world of noncommittal platitudes to call upon that should inform the average person that the subject is not going to be discussed.

    I absolutely agree with that — and since in this case, the family is only a few years past the “friction” (the son’s disclosure of his homosexuality, the therapy, the son opting out of the therapy), there is all the more reason to avoid washing the laundry in public.

    I also think that (since Salmon, Jr. is politically active) it would have been much more astute and respectful towards his parents if he had said something like “I aspire to be in a committed long-term relationship with another man someday,” without publicly using the controversial term “marriage”.

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 11, 2013 @ 7:47 pm - April 11, 2013

  50. I don’t suppose the afternoon I get back from the CPA after settling on yet another year’s taxes is the best time for me to be having a discussion about how sterling and principled family-values warriors can automatically be seen to be with regard to the issue of same-sex marriage. If I am a bit testy, please bear that in mind.

    Most politicians, regardless of their place on the political spectrum, are self-seeking opportunists. Many are little better than borderline sociopaths. That Matt Salmon the Elder can automatically be imputed the very noblest of intentions, while his son must be a self-seeking little attention whore, seems to me a bit skewed.

    The way our tax code is rigged is nothing short of theft. I have no intention of budging on that issue. If ever there were a genuinely moral issue involved, this is certainly it.

    Comment by Lori Heine — April 11, 2013 @ 8:13 pm - April 11, 2013

  51. I just read the “Phoenix New Times” link that rusty posted in #20, and I would urge everyone commenting about the Salmons to read it in full — it only gives the point-of-view of Salmon Jr. and a supportive cousin, but it does fill in some significant details about the family’s history.

    In particular, I’d note that Salmon Jr. appears to be more offended by his father’s double standard regarding Mormonism and Scientology than by his Mormon family’s disapproval of homosexuality — a detail that comes at the end of the article. (No, the kid isn’t a Scientologist; he’s simply aware that similar accusations have been made against Scientology and the LDS church.)

    Comment by Throbert McGee — April 11, 2013 @ 8:17 pm - April 11, 2013

  52. http://m.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2013/04/01/rep-matt-salmon-gay-son-hasnt-changed-my-views-on-gay-marriage/
    I didn’t know if my family would ever come around. My parents were very politically opposed to gay and equal rights,” he says in the video. The key, he said, was not to shut them out regardless of their politics: “Since I’ve come out, things have changed with my family, but it wasn’t until I realized one key thing: if I wanted them to love me and fully accept me, I had to love and fully accept them too, despite their opinions which might not agree with mine.”

    Comment by rusty — April 11, 2013 @ 8:55 pm - April 11, 2013

  53. Younger Salmon did a It Gets Better video

    And he is no longer dating Flake

    Comment by rusty — April 11, 2013 @ 8:56 pm - April 11, 2013

  54. @ #32, Heliotrope, I doubt you know much about Ron Reagan, Jr.

    Comment by Mike Roberts — April 16, 2013 @ 12:08 am - April 16, 2013

  55. Mike Roberts,

    I know he and his sister cooperated in dragging family laundry out for the willing snark media to wave around. I know that playing out your petulant family differences in public is extremely low class in the cheap shot drama queen attention-getting sense. I know that adults have the choice to keep their dignity and pride or just go all “tell-all” for a few “atta’ boys” from a crowd of manipulating hyenas who will feign friendship for five minutes in exchange for some red meat.

    Losers can’t ever seem to get over themselves. They live a life of self-pity in the vice of someone else’s grip and all they can do is gripe about how they can’t free themselves and move on.

    Comment by heliotrope — April 16, 2013 @ 9:42 am - April 16, 2013

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