Gay Patriot Header Image

Friday satire – from The Onion

Posted by Jeff (ILoveCapitalism) at 3:54 pm - August 16, 2013.
Filed under: Equality (Real or Faux?),Humor,Social Issues

Report: There Only 17 Total Square Miles On Earth Where Gays Not Discriminated Against

P.S. If you feel that anti-gay discrimination is too serious to joke about (and it is, in some places): then please re-think your willingness (if any) to excuse Islamist dictatorships, and/or your opposition to gun rights.



  1. Actually, Livewire, according to the DSM IV, paedophilia is *not* a mental illness as long as the pasedophile feels good about his paedophilia. It’s only a problem if the paedophile feels “distressed” about wanting to go Filner on a second-grader.

    I am *not* making this up.

    Comment by V the K — August 20, 2013 @ 10:27 am - August 20, 2013

  2. SC.Swampfox,

    First, I offer my support and encouragement for continuing to the handle your struggles positively and wish you the peace and serenity for which we all strive.

    Secondly, your struggles are none of my business in the political realm, but on the personal level I am rooting for you.

    Thirdly, the “far-right anti-gay” element is not a fixed entity. There are plenty of far-right conservatives who are far from anything resembling anti-gay. And there are plenty of fundamentalist Christians who are not anti-gay. I wish we could stop hooking extreme conservatism with evil as an automatic qualifier aimed to disparage.

    The demagogues on the left have done a terrific job of painting the far right as sexists, anti-gay, martinets who want to rule from the literal words of the Bible and organize society according to their prudish standards.

    I am weary of all the concentration placed on the loons who grab the attention of the chicken littles who are in search of any evidence that feeds their fears.

    Certainly gay baiting, bashing and murder have taken place. But they are as reprehensible to the general far right as they are to the far left or people between the poles.

    “Dr.” Terry Jones plans to burn 2,998 Korans on 9/11 in Mulberry, Florida. (He raised a ruckus a few years ago over his plan to burn one Koran.) Maybe “Dr.” Terry Jones is far-right. Maybe “Dr.” Terry Jones considers himself a Christian. Maybe, in his own mind, “Dr.” Terry Jones is getting orders from God. But whatever the circumstances, he is staining the people of Mulberry, the far-right, Christians and general people of good will by his self-centered antics and pious righteousness. But, it is also incumbent on those he is attacking to be able to see him for the fool that he is and not use him as an excuse to seek out and murder Copts and burn down churches and launch attacks on every trace of “infidel” connected association and real-estate. Zealot vs. Zealot is not a recipe for peace and harmony.

    Please remember that our country is extremely liberal in terms of the structure of government. Our right and left argue back and forth from a place on the far left of government possibilities. The leftists in our country warn of a shift to the totalitarian state of the right and the right sees the representative democracy where sovereignty is vested in the people being morphed into a controlling national government which takes our property and social engineers it out to people who didn’t earn it or have any natural right to it.

    If you go back to Franklin Roosevelt, in which direction has the country been trending? To the “feared” right or the “social justice” left?

    I keep up the drumbeat about the “gay agenda” because I don’t believe that the average gay who is upset with his “status” has a clue about what he wants and what would satisfy him. To quote Gertrude Stein, I think that the average gay agenda fan fits this to a “T”: “When you get there, you discover there isn’t any there there.”

    Just maybe it is time for the gay agenda people to stop being obsessed with the status of being gay and just settle down and live a life. Just maybe the demons hiding under the bed are not as numerous and prevalent as some believe.

    Comment by heliotrope — August 20, 2013 @ 11:44 am - August 20, 2013

  3. Just maybe it is time for the gay agenda people to stop being obsessed with the status of being gay and just settle down and live a life.

    This may be the truest statement on this entire blog!

    Comment by David in New Orleans — August 20, 2013 @ 3:45 pm - August 20, 2013

  4. David and heliotrope,

    You will probably see less of the big A gay activists, but will see second string folk stepping up. . .parents, grandparents, children, bosses, co-workers, brethren from churches . . .all stepping up to the podiums of the Public Square to voice support for GLBT issues.

    Rupublican Portman, hedge fund guru Paul Singer, the Cheney family, the Obamas, Jeff Bezos Amazon, Tim Cook Apple and it goes on and on all the way to PFLAG.

    But this was interesting article from the search on reparative therapy

    Writing for the Christian Century magazine, Randall Balmer EXPLAINS a developing change of course on the Religious Right:
    The closing of the doors of Exodus International earlier this summer doesn’t just signal a sea change in evangelical thinking about homosexuality. It also highlights some evangelicals’ dubious claims of adherence to immutable convictions.
    After 37 years, Exodus—which advocated “reparative therapy”—finally gave in to scientific evidence and changing cultural attitudes. In announcing the move, president Alan Chambers issued an extended apology. “I am sorry for the pain and hurt that many of you have experienced,” Chambers said, addressing the gay community.
    Exodus and similar programs occasionally trotted out trophy success stories, gays who claimed to have been “cured.” But the reparative therapy movement suffered a greater number of recidivisms and embarrassments. Chambers, after announcing the cessation of the organization, acknowledged that 99 percent of those who endured gay-conversion therapy failed to shed their same-sex attractions. “There have been people that we’ve hurt,” he told the Exodus gathering. “There have been horror stories.”
    Exodus also had to contend with changing cultural dynamics. A Gallup Poll in May 2013 found that 59 percent of Americans believe that lesbian and gay relationships are “morally acceptable,” an increase of 19 percentage points since 2001. And despite their protestations, evangelicals are not impervious to cultural change.
    Case in point: divorce. When I was growing up as an evangelical in the 1950s and 1960s, divorce was considered the defining moral issue. Anyone who was divorced became a pariah in evangelical circles. Many had their church memberships rescinded; at the least they were shunned. I remember my mother telling me that our family could never support Nelson Rockefeller for president because he was divorced.
    But evangelical attitudes changed with cultural trends. By the late 1970s, the divorce rate among evangelicals was roughly the same as the rest of the population, and evangelicals suddenly were forced to confront the issue. There was also this catalyst: the candidacy of Ronald Reagan, a divorced and remarried man, for the presidency. Religious right leaders were so eager to embrace Reagan that they brushed aside what would previously have been a disqualifying circumstance…
    Evangelicals like to assert that, because of their fidelity to the Bible, their convictions are timeless. But this certainly is not the case. Generational transitions also play a role. As late as the 2008 presidential election, old-line religious right leaders like James Dobson and Chuck Colson insisted that the main moral issues were abortion and same-sex marriage. A younger generation of evangelicals, however, saw things differently, detecting a much broader spectrum of moral issues, including war, hunger and especially the environment. They have evinced little interest in matters of sexual orientation or in taking a stand against gays and lesbians.
    No matter how vigorously they protest, evangelicals are swept along by cultural currents together with everyone else. “We’ve fought the culture,” Chambers declared in his valedictory address to Exodus, “and we’ve lost.”

    Read more:

    Comment by rusty — August 20, 2013 @ 6:06 pm - August 20, 2013

  5. heliotrope, thanks for your remarks. I am going to take a break from posting on Gay Patriot for awhile.

    Rest assured that I am not going to become a member of the looney left, which assuredly does exist today. I am a staunch small government conservative. Always have been and always will be.

    Indulge me and let me tell you about when I came out to my parents in 1969. I came out to my parents after being off to college for two weeks. It was a Saturday afternoon in September, one month after Woodstock. My Father was a physician in our small town. He had enough pull that I was able to see the only one psychiatrist in our small town within about two hours. I was depressed and suicidal at that time. That day I had to make a promise to my Father and the psychiatrist that I would not do any harm to myself. I guess if I did not make that promise at that time, I would have been committed. Well, I kept that promise. On the way home from the psychiatrist my Father said that he had failed me. I told him that he did not fail me. I continued to see that psychiatrist for about four more months, making trips back and forth from college. I could see it my parents eyes that each visit hurt them ……. parents whom I truly loved. One time I asked the psychiatrist if he could make me heterosexual. He honestly answered, saying that only maybe. Shortly thereafter, I stopped seeing him and decided to go back in the closet, hoping my homosexual illness (remember that in 1969 it was in the DSM as an illness) would somehow cure itself. That was probably the worst decision of my life. The last thing I needed to do was to not talk to anyone about what was causing my social anxiety, depression and reclusiveness.

    Well, 1969 is not 2013. I had my major breakdown in June of 2007 after which I came came out to a select few. And, as I said before, I think that was the best thing happened in my life. Now, I have to get on living the rest of my life……. Now without the social anxiety which once plagued me. Homosexuality is no longer deemed to be a mental illness by the mental health experts. I am semi-out and don’t really give a damn if someone thinks I am gay or asks if I am gay. I only talk about my sexuality to a select few. I see my psychiatrist twice a year for thirty minutes, to talk to him and get prescriptions for Valium and Prozac. Neither drug I probably need anymore. Old habits are hard to break and I am still a semi-recluse. I live on a 246 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. As my small support group of friends and family say I need to get out more often, which I probably do need to do. What the future holds, I don’t know, but my quality of life is certainly much better.

    Comment by SC.Swampfox — August 20, 2013 @ 6:19 pm - August 20, 2013

  6. SC.Swampfox,

    Anxiety and depression are known to many of us and the cause is often hidden from discovery. You are who you are and “it is what it is” – I would encourage you to put any suspected “cause” of your battles aside and concentrate on fighting for your best case future. You have my best wishes for your strength and having the willpower to deal with your down times, if they arise. I express my wishes by prayer and you may count of them being there for you from a stranger far away.

    Comment by heliotrope — August 20, 2013 @ 9:20 pm - August 20, 2013

  7. Heliotrope, thanks for your follow up comment.

    Comment by SC.Swampfox — August 20, 2013 @ 10:23 pm - August 20, 2013

  8. [Jeff adds: Good comment. As a general practice, please avoid profanity stronger than what you’d see on public television.]

    Thanks for your comment on about my post @95 on this thread that I have repeated above.

    Comment by SC.Swampfox — August 20, 2013 @ 10:32 pm - August 20, 2013

  9. Correction on post at 108:

    [Jeff adds: Good comment. As a general practice, please avoid profanity stronger than what you’d see on public television.]

    Thanks JEFF for you comment on my post @95 on this thread that I have repeated above.

    Comment by SC.Swampfox — August 20, 2013 @ 10:38 pm - August 20, 2013

  10. 1992 was the height of the AIDS epidemic, with people dying left and right because “real gays” like yourself couldn’t be bothered to put on a condom or tell the truth about your HIV status. – ND30 at #83

    You haven’t figured it out yet that I am SC.Charlie from HotAir, yet. I’m that virgin 62 homosexual……. the person who hasn’t had gay sex or heterosexual sex.

    Then I fail to see how the aforementioned quote applied to you, especially since it wasn’t even aimed at you.

    Key lesson and takeaway from this blog, Swampfox: this is where people go to get away from having to defend the imbecility of the gay and lesbian community or be branded a race traitor.

    What you have found here is a community of people who, as heliotrope shows beautifully, practice what they preach.

    But they are also throughly sick and tired of pathetic little filthy pigs like rusty demanding piety dances, calling them bigots, and blathering on about the Golden Rule when it is blatantly obvious that such pigs will not practice what they preach.

    There is ample space here for disagreement. There is none for abusive behavior such as rusty attempts. Many have tried, and the vast majority have been run off like scalded dogs.

    If you feel the need to defend or support or make excuses for the gay and lesbian community’s idiotic, you will not be happy here — and especially not if your excuse is to blame “the right”. The vast majority of us here have heard quite enough of the gay community’s bigot leaders like Dan Savage and Michelangelo Signorile mocking everything for which our friends and families stand and calling for their deaths because they do not worship the Obama/LGBT cult, and will shove calling the people we know and love racists and bigots back down the throat of the people doing it to the hole they pulled it out of in the first place.

    You will understand this place fully if you realize that here, right and wrong operate independently of sexual orientation. You won’t find that anywhere else in the gay and lesbian community. Anywhere.

    Comment by North Dallas Thirty — August 21, 2013 @ 12:29 am - August 21, 2013

  11. Yes, many evangelicals Christians have been swept along by the culture, but that doesn’t mean the culture is right. It means those evangelicals are weak and cowardly.

    Comment by Seane-Anna — August 21, 2013 @ 12:47 am - August 21, 2013

  12. Yes, many evangelicals Christians have been swept along by the culture, but that doesn’t mean the culture is right. It means those evangelicals are weak and cowardly.

    Comment by Seane-Anna — August 21, 2013 @ 12:47 am – August 21, 2013

    The parable of the sower.

    That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

    Matthew 13:1 – 9

    Case in point:

    A younger generation of evangelicals, however, saw things differently, detecting a much broader spectrum of moral issues, including war, hunger and especially the environment.

    And oddly enough, the rapid upswing in the vast majority of those causes relate to the breakdown of the family.

    Seeds with no roots and choked out by thorns, indeed.

    Comment by North Dallas Thirty — August 21, 2013 @ 1:04 am - August 21, 2013

  13. ND30 you made a good comment @ 110. I must say, I don’t like your overly aggressive, confrontational style of writing. But it is your style and you probably can’t change. The conversation has moved on from this thread and is now on the subject of conversion/reparative therapy. Perhaps you can tone down your style just for awhile and let us all know what you think about Christie passing the law banning such therapy. Personally, I think it is a good law.

    I hope that you enjoy living in gay friendly San Francisco. Where I live it is not so friendly and also I am not exposed to what I call the looney left on a daily basis, which is based in such places as San Francisco, New York, etc. I look forward to the day that gays and lesbians no longer have to pack up and move to gay friendly enclaves in order to live their lives. I’ve seen a lot of change in my 62 years and hope to live to see more positive change on gay issues before I pass on. I am getting my bucket list together and visiting San Francisco is on my list.

    Comment by SC.Swampfox — August 21, 2013 @ 7:44 am - August 21, 2013

  14. ND30, I have three sons of first cousins living in San Francisco. None are gay. All are in their thirties. None is currently married. One will be getting married in October. Two were raised by my very liberal female first cousin who won’t even turn her television to Fox News. Even though she as liberal as they come, she and I have great debates. One of her sons graduated from MIT and the other one graduated from Georgia Tech. They work together in the computer programing industry and are very highly compensated.

    The other young man who lives in San Francisco graduated from Georgetown University and works with his brother who graduated from West Point, but he lives in Colorado with his wife and family. They work in the financial industry funding venture capital enterprises all over the United States. Both of them are certainly as conservative as myself. All four young men know about my breakdown in 2007. I’ve met them all since then a number of times, but I have not discussed my breakdown or my sexuality with any of these young men.

    Comment by SC.Swampfox — August 21, 2013 @ 8:27 am - August 21, 2013

  15. I must agree that Lively, repellant as certain of his views may be, cannot justly be prosecuted for expressing them. To prosecute him for expression/advocacy is to violate the First Amendment; or, as NDT puts it, to punish thoughtcrime. I abhor that.

    Comment by ILoveCapitalism — August 26, 2013 @ 12:42 am - August 26, 2013

  16. […] that brings us to the case of the Rev. Scott Lively. In a blog thread last week, rusty brought up Lively, who is being prosecuted in Massachusetts at the behest of a Uganda gay group, […]

    Pingback by GayPatriot » Freedom of Speech: It must be a two-way street… — August 27, 2013 @ 5:09 pm - August 27, 2013

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.