This is a read-the-whole-thing sort of deal, an excerpt will not do the story justice. The heart of it is an over-entitled, self-centered, forty-something vegan child-man (“Birdman”) who pitches a fit in a Chicago-area ‘Whole Foods’ because he deems the staff insufficiently accommodating. You just *know* the guy is an Obama voter; albeit probably one who considers Obama “a little too center-right for my tastes.”
I think about that evening every time I walk into a Whole Foods during rush hour. I look for the tell-tale signs of another Birdman—impatience, over-reaction, constipated rage—and I find it every time. Then I wonder, why are these people all so angry? Is it something about Whole Foods that brings it out of them? Is it just their proximity to other miserable souls just like them? Is it the outward projection of inner self-loathing brought on by the feeling of utter helplessness in the face of social pressure to pay higher prices for organic, GMO-free, gluten-free, paleo, macro, whole foods?
I would bet if you asked all these angry, hateful trolls trundling to their hybrids in the parking lot trying to reconcile a $200 grocery bill with three measly paper bags full of groceries, they’d say No. They’d say they have to shop at Whole Foods because of something someone else in their family likes that they can’t find anywhere else. They always have an explanation, but it’s really just an excuse. They try to justify it, but it’s always a rationalization.