[HT: Peter H] The Washington Post has hired a new advice columnist.
“Steven Petrow will be joining our advice ranks,” declares the Post, “with a special emphasis on LGBT and straight etiquette issues.” Petrow, states his bio, is “the go-to source for modern manners…known as Mr. Manners.” Why was he chosen for the job? He will tell you it’s largely because he’s the former president of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association.
An expert on LGBT etiquette issues. Hmmm, I wonder what that’s like.
Q. Dear Mr Manners, I was attending an utterly fabu dinner party when one of the other guests casually mentioned that he voted for Romney. I promptly threw my glass of Chardonnay right in his face. I have since wondered if I had handled the situation properly. Any advice would be appreciated. – Sparkles
A. Gentle Reader, it was improper for you to throw a glass Chardonnay at your Republican guest; always use red wine when assaulting Republicans.
Q. Dear Mr Manners, my partner and I are planning a lovely June wedding. There’s a Muslim-owned bakery in town that makes splendid wedding cakes, but we are not sure how to approach them. What is your advice? – Harley
A. Gentle Reader, are you on crack? Find a Christian bakery and force them to do your cake. No one cares about their religious rights.
The other examples I thought of were kind of NSFW.