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What they should do, is start counting hookers & blow

Posted by Jeff (ILoveCapitalism) at 7:36 am - May 30, 2014.
Filed under: Economy,Liberal Lies,Obama Incompetence

Despite trillions in economic “stimulus” which have pushed the stock market to record highs, the U.S. economy officially shrank by 1% in the first quarter.

Real gross domestic product — the output of goods and services produced by labor and property located in the United States — decreased at an annual rate of 1.0 percent in the first quarter according to the “second” estimate released by the Bureau of Economic Analysis…

The GDP estimate released today is based on more complete source data than were available for the “advance” estimate issued last month.

If second quarter GDP does the same, the economy will officially be in a recession.

But surely the problem isn’t with the economy? Now in its fifth “summer of recovery” – yes fifth, so there! – and with the official unemployment rate dropping, surely the economy is fine?

The problem must be that our government officials aren’t measuring GDP correctly. After all, truth is a social construct, right? Just rig the GDP counting methods until officials produce a number that “proves” the economy is growing, and have President Obama declare it’s true, and it will be true.

They did things that way in 2013. For example, when Obama simply declared that his irresponsible budget proposal was “fiscally responsible”. Or when they suddenly declared the GDP to be $550 billion higher after deciding that GDP should include future government pension promises, money lost on failed movies, and so forth.

Italy gets the idea. Italy will start to count cocaine sales, prostitution and smuggling as part of their GDP.

The UK is also working on it. Contribution of drug dealers and prostitutes to the UK economy boosted GDP by £10bn according to estimates.

For the first time official statisticians are measuring the value to the UK economy of sex work and drug dealing – and they have discovered these unsavoury hidden-economy trades make roughly the same contribution as farming.

You see? In this modern world, when a hooker helps a Kennedy get to sleep at night, she contributes as much to national wealth as a farmer growing food for someone’s table.

Obama needs to get on this (so to speak). That way, The Party can prove that the economy is always growing. /sarc



  1. The stimulus didn’t push the stock market up. irrational and predictable investments into 401 (K) every week did that. Every week, new money floods in looking for stocks in a market that hasn’t created any now stock. So the price for existing stock goes up.

    The stock market is not the economy. It’s not even the market. It’s not even a proxy for either of them. It is a closed system where insiders get rich trading the same small pool of stock certificates over and over (churning).

    Comment by Professor Hale — May 30, 2014 @ 9:53 am - May 30, 2014

  2. Somewhere deep inside a Washington office building, bureaucrats are working on a program to tax all craigslist transactions, financial and barter, enforced in part by jail and fines. Count on it! Next up: freecycle.

    Comment by Ignatius — May 30, 2014 @ 10:12 am - May 30, 2014

  3. The stimulus didn’t push the stock market up.

    I meant the word in a broad sense, to include the Fed $4 trillion in bond-monetization since 2008, plus the federal deficits including bailouts, Porkulus, etc.. And all of it has helped to push the stock market to where it is today.

    Every week, new money floods in looking for stocks in a market that hasn’t created any now stock.

    I see your point, but there’s more to the story. Because there has been lots of new stock via IPOs – in fact, we have approached (past tense because it just recently curtailed) a repeat of the 90s dot-com bubble. The “new money [that] floods in” comes from many sides – the retail or 401k investor as you describe; as well as banks, and as well as corporations raising cash (issuing bonds) and then doing buybacks of their own stock.

    The mother of it all, the mother of the cash that sloshes into the market from many corners, is the Fed. The Fed claims (against the evidence) that its ZIRP and QE programs are an economic stimulus. (Really, they are the economic equivalent of a narcotic addiction.) At times, the Fed also pats itself on the back for pushing up the markets. (And they’re right about that part; narcotics do, after all, make people temporarily high.)

    The stock market is not the economy…


    Comment by ILoveCapitalism — May 30, 2014 @ 11:38 am - May 30, 2014

  4. Don’t laugh I saw somewhere that the IRS is looking to tax frequent flyer miles, maybe just for those in the right.

    After that the next logical thing is to go after coupons.

    But yea as the FED keeps printing more money all the money loses value. With Putin trading gold for oil it risks the dollars reserve status, if we lose that we will feel the actual pain of the massive debt that is covering all the non productive that teem to our shores. When George Soros destroyed the British Pound as the worlds reserve currency it hurt them for decades.

    Comment by Steve — May 30, 2014 @ 7:22 pm - May 30, 2014

  5. Lets not forget the dollar lost 25% of its buying power in Obama’s first 4 years.

    Comment by Steve — May 30, 2014 @ 7:22 pm - May 30, 2014

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