Unless all life on Earth is mercifully exterminated by a collision with a neutron star, Hillary Clinton is the inevitable Democrat nominee in 2016 and eventual president of the United States in 2017. Because regardless of the fact that she has accomplished nothing and is as crooked as a dog’s hind leg, she will have the fervent support of the Democrat media apparatus and the support of idiot low-information voters who make up the majority of the American electorate and re-elected Obama because they thought Mitt Romney was going to outlaw tampons. (And if Obama and Establishment Republicans are successful, millions of uneducated third-world illegal immigrants will also be able to cast their votes for her as well.) Meanwhile, the Republicans will most likely, as they have done in every election year since 1988, nominate a milquetoast establishment moderate who will lose the popular vote as establishment Republican moderates have in five of the last six elections.
But there are alternatives to Hillary on the Democrat side, and any of them is ready to step into her very comfortable low-heeled shoes provided anything should happen to her on the Road to Inevitable Catastrophe. So, just putting five of them out there for your consideration.
- Joe Biden – Democrat Vice President of the United States. Yeah, Democrats won’t nominate an old white guy unless there is no other candidate. Moving on.
- Martin O’Malley – Democrat Governor of Maryland. Raised taxes more than 40 times in eight years, including a tax on (not making this up) rainwater. Gerrymandered the congressional districts so where Maryland once sent 4 Republicans and 4 Democrats to Congress, it now sends 7 Democrats and only one Republican. Completely botched the Obamacare implementation to the tune of $125 Million. And found time to enact some of the most Draconian anti-gun laws in the country. An impressive record for a Democrat, unfortunately, but he would still need to overcome his white maleness.
- Elizabeth Warren – Democrat Senator from Massachusetts. A radical left-wing senator who supports a $22-an-hour minimum wage and a massive tax increase to pay for college students to get free Womyn’s Studies, Urban Studies and other completely worthless degrees. She is an absolute favorite among the Democrat’s FSA (Free [Stuff] Army] base because she embraces the Democrat proposition of “We’ll take money from people you don’t like and spend it on you” to its absolute extreme. Also, she’s a woman, so she gets the “Historic First” mantle that’s so much more important than competence and sanity to the low-information electorate. [She also previously claimed to be a Native American belonging to an obscure plains tribe specializing in seafood recipes.]
- Andrew Cuomo – Democrat Governor of New York. Cuomo inherited all of his wealth and political power, and Democrats really like that for some reason. (See also, Senator Mary Landrieu, Senator Mark Udall, Senator Tom Udall, Senator Bob Casey, and… oh, yeah, Hillary Clinton.) He also enacted gun laws even more Draconian than Maryland’s (take that, MO’M), famously told pro-lifers and 2nd Amendment supporters they were unwelcome in his state, and shut down a corruption investigation when it threatened to implicate members of his party and their political cronies. But, despite these laudable Democrat achievements, he would have difficulty overcoming the handicap of his skin color and gender.
- Cory Booker – Black Democrat Senator from New Jersey. A Black half-term senator with no previous accomplishments on his record and an imaginary friend named T-Bone. Definitely the man to beat.
Pretty scary when you realize Joe Biden is the smart and reasonable one.