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Wherever There Are Gheys, There Is Drama

Posted by V the K at 10:34 am - January 31, 2015.
Filed under: Gay Culture

All over North Dakota, men are drilling into mudholes. Also, there’s a lot of oil industry activity going on. And, of course, whiny people are whining about both of these things. A journalist traveled to North Dakota to seek out gay men and catalog their whining; because that’s what journalism is about these days.

Attitudes are shifting, but the state’s socially conservative heritage still looms large. Same-sex relationships are often intensely private—if not wholly covert—affairs, and LGBT-friendly spaces remain exasperatingly limited. Online platforms like Grindr provide a means for some gay workers in the area to connect with one another. But the sorts of fleeting and—for the most part—one-on-one interactions they enable don’t do much to break the overall sense of solitude.

Homophobia never lingers far from the surface. “I was at a bar the other night, when this guy started calling me a ‘fucking queer,'” Jon Kelly, a burly 29-year-old real estate developer who moved to Williston four years ago, told me. “I’ve been out for ten years, and nobody’s ever said that to me.”

If you need a whole community of other gay people around you, maybe your place is West Hollywood, not North Dakota. I can’t escape the feeling that the actual gay men who’ve moved out to the oil fields are more comfortable with their environment than Mr. Big City reporter is, and a lot of the discomfort he is projecting is his own.



  1. Good lord, it’s essentially a frontier region with the oil boom. What does this guy expect. When you have a bunch of oafs get together to work & drink, they’re equally opportunity offenders.

    Comment by Marc — January 31, 2015 @ 11:15 am - January 31, 2015

  2. My one and only liaison in the oil fields of western North Dakota was with a 23-year-old truck driver. Like most such encounters in the oil patch, ours originated on Grindr, the mobile hookup app for gay, bisexual, and curious men. He sent me a photo, and we traded some biographical details. A few hours later, he was in my room at the Williston Super 8.

    So begins this pathetic lust diary.

    Get a life. I could not care less about how you get Mr. Happy serviced. Furthermore, a-hole, getting your weasel waxed is not a civil right. Nor is anyone who is not hot to pity your horny self a “h8er.”

    It would seem to me that you should stay right there in the Super 8 in Williston and whore yourself out as a ghey pubic service.

    What a sorry shulb of a human being.

    Comment by Heliotrope — January 31, 2015 @ 11:25 am - January 31, 2015

  3. ICONIC:
    The Top 10 Super Bowl Commercials of All Time

    Comment by Steve — January 31, 2015 @ 12:11 pm - January 31, 2015

  4. Would be funny if they compared the rate of gay bashings of there to a die verse city area where they are afraid to name the race of the attackers.

    Feminists to leftist for Wikipedia get banned on multiple topics
    This is BigGaySteve

    Comment by Steve — January 31, 2015 @ 1:03 pm - January 31, 2015

  5. VTK, are you suggesting the writer was putting words in Jon Kelly’s mouth when he was called a ‘f=ck!ng queer’?

    Comment by CrayCrayPatriot — January 31, 2015 @ 2:46 pm - January 31, 2015

  6. VTK, are you suggesting the writer was putting words in Jon Kelly’s mouth when he was called a ‘f=ck!ng queer’?

    Comment by CrayCrayPatriot — January 31, 2015 @ 2:46 pm – January 31, 2015

    Isn’t it hilarious to watch liberal gay bigots who say this about gay conservatives and tell gay conservatives to kill themselves trying to play language police?

    It’s almost as if CrayCray is a lying and malignant hypocrite who is demanding others behave in a way that he and his fellow gay bigots and Obama supporters are incapable of doing.

    Comment by North Dallas Thirty — January 31, 2015 @ 3:01 pm - January 31, 2015

  7. @ V the K: You left out the bit where Kelly responded the way I would’ve: slugged the drunkard who was harassing him. Atta boy!

    My sense of blue-collar is that they give EVERYBODY a hard time, for various reasons. It’s up to the newcomer to prove their mettle. I have a feeling that if a gay guy said, “Yeah, I’m queer, what are you going to do about it?” and then knocked out anybody who tried to give him further grief would fare much better than one who, say, started shouting “Homophobe!” and threatening to call GLAAD. Working-class men are men of action, and I think they would appreciate action above words.

    Comment by Sean L — January 31, 2015 @ 3:05 pm - January 31, 2015

  8. Relationships are supposed to be intensely private. I am not interested in your personal life. Be polite and courteous and keep it to yourself, I don’t care what gender. In my family it was nobody’s business but your own. If you need to discuss it, talk to a close friend or family member. Don’t whine in public. Don’t be rude. Have some manners, please.

    Comment by Robin — January 31, 2015 @ 3:20 pm - January 31, 2015

  9. I agree, Robin. The old rules of public civility.

    At the height of the debate for over turning “don’t ask, don’t tell”, Ann Coulter put it well. She didn’t want to hear about a person’s sex life from anyone in public–gay, straight, or anything else.

    Comment by Kevin — January 31, 2015 @ 3:39 pm - January 31, 2015

  10. @ Kevin: I rarely mention my sexuality to strangers. It only comes up if it is germane (i.e., “As a gay man, I find it difficult to not support the gay-friendly Israel over Palestine), or if somebody asks point-blank. Many of my friends know, but it came up during a private group conversation- and the fact that I like men was one of the tamer revelations! I sometimes mention that I can’t go out with friends because I have a date, but that’s nothing that my straight friends don’t say.

    Comment by Sean L — January 31, 2015 @ 4:04 pm - January 31, 2015

  11. A lot of these sort of articles remind me of the “Among the Savages” type travel logs from the Victorian era.

    Comment by Karen — January 31, 2015 @ 7:38 pm - January 31, 2015

  12. hey, I grew up blue collar, and this “journalist” is an idiot panty-waist. (oops, did I just offend someone with that comment?)

    This I can tell you, the proper blue collar response to someone calling you a f&cking queer is to either knock his front teeth out; or, even better, hit him back with words: “why, yes, why do you say so? Did you want to bottom for me? or just suck my dick?”

    End of story; either way, you’re now just one of the boys.

    Comment by charles — February 1, 2015 @ 12:33 am - February 1, 2015

  13. @Charles: Bingo!

    Could somebody turn down the volume on the stereotypes?

    Comment by innocent bystander — February 1, 2015 @ 6:06 am - February 1, 2015

  14. It is also very likely the “journalist” just made the whole thing up. hater stories sell. And he didn’t want to spend all that time in North Dakota and come home with out a story.

    Comment by No One — February 2, 2015 @ 9:04 am - February 2, 2015

  15. What No One said! How many of these whiny screeds penned/voiced by perpetual leftard victims turned out to be false?

    Comment by runningrn — February 5, 2015 @ 2:51 pm - February 5, 2015

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