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There’s No Pleasing Some People

June 29, 2015 by V the K

Some gay activists are whining that the end of the gay marriage struggle has left them… unsatisfied.

The more victories that accumulate for gay rights, the faster some gay institutions, rituals and markers are fading out. And so just as the gay marriage movement peaks, so does a debate about whether gay identity is dimming, overtaken by its own success.

“What do gay men have in common when they don’t have oppression?” asked Andrew Sullivan, one of the intellectual architects of the marriage movement. “I don’t know the answer to that yet.”

“The thing I miss is the specialness of being gay,” said Lisa Kron. “Because the traditional paths were closed, there was a consciousness to our lives, a necessary invention to the way we were going to celebrate and mark family and mark connection. That felt magical and beautiful.”

Oh, dear, what will they ever do now? What is next for the gay left. Reparations, perhaps?

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Filed Under: Gay Culture

Comments

  1. Tom says

    June 29, 2015 at 10:37 pm - June 29, 2015

    Maybe we could bring back laws discriminating against gay people, so these malcontents can feel “special” again.

    The gay rights activists, like the black civil rights “leaders,” are worried. To the extent that their constituents make progress, the need for activists diminishes. If perfect social justice is achieved, the activists may become obsolete, and lose their sinecures. So, if there is no discrimination or injustice, the activists have to invent it.

  2. Andy says

    June 29, 2015 at 11:03 pm - June 29, 2015

    “Because the traditional paths were closed, there was a consciousness to our lives, a necessary invention to the way we were going to celebrate and mark family and mark connection. That felt magical and beautiful.”

    It sounds like … freedom. The freedom “to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life,” perhaps. Freedom from the fetters of tradition and the weight of social expectation. It certainly must be a magical and beautiful thing. I’m just surprised the nostalgia came so soon.

  3. John says

    June 29, 2015 at 11:11 pm - June 29, 2015

    I’ve always said I wanted to be in the room when the gay left had their lightbulb moment and realised that they couldn’t be both equal and special at the same time. The end of militant gaydom can’t come too soon.

  4. Craig Smith says

    June 29, 2015 at 11:28 pm - June 29, 2015

    Well, you see now they can turn on each other.

  5. TheQuietMan says

    June 30, 2015 at 12:22 am - June 30, 2015

    What’s that old line, “Be careful of what you wish for–you might get it”? The only tears in my eyes over their Angst will be from suppressing my laughter.

  6. fortdixmike says

    June 30, 2015 at 4:38 am - June 30, 2015

    Canada Free Press has a special take on the Gay Marriage ruling: http://canadafreepress.com/article/73325?utm_source=CFP+Mailout&utm_campaign=69a3d514dc-5_20_2015&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_d8f503f036-69a3d514dc-291128377

  7. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    June 30, 2015 at 4:46 am - June 30, 2015

    Not that I agree with the logic but, I suspect that protections like ENDA will soon-follow via the legal backdoor of; …if you live, work or vacation in a state where gay discrimination is still-legal, but since you’re now-legally-and openly-married any blatant gay discrimination will be “illegal” since your “martial status” gave you away as gay — without actually outing-yourself. And you can’t have a policy of it being still-legal to discriminate against single LGB people since that too would be based on marital-status. Therefore, you can’t discriminate legally any-longer Similarly with gay adoption.

    And I have to wonder if that was part of the overall legal grand strategy. You can’t be a closeted gay-guy and married if you HR form lists your marital-status as “married, and your spouse as “Steve”.

    Attention National GOP Shoppers !! — The barn doors are wide-open, the “homophobic” horse has bolted, and is headed down the slippery-slope at a full-gallop for the fences. To further mix a metaphor. Perhaps it’s time to put a fork in it, declare it “done” or “burnt-n-ruined”…and find a new paradigm to campaign-on.

  8. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    June 30, 2015 at 5:02 am - June 30, 2015

    “What do gay men have in common when they don’t have oppression?”

    I’ll give you a concrete example of unintended-consequences. About 20-years ago New Jersey passed fairly-comprehensive LGB protections, and as a result basically every gay bar — with maybe two exceptions — has basically gone broke or closed due to a lack of patrons. A few now thrive with mixed clienteles, but the ones that depended on closeted students sneaking off-campus, or guys furtively going to the gay disco or cruising bar, are dead. Now you can go to any bar in the State, any restaurant or club, with your BF or just your mixed-friends and drink, eat or dance. The need or necessity for that “safe anonymous gay place” is gone.

    Now there are other factors — AIDS, drunk-driving enforcement, better lifestyles, coupledom — but nearly 9-million residents and the traditional “gay bar” is dead.

  9. Heliotrope says

    June 30, 2015 at 6:26 am - June 30, 2015

    Sounds like Sullivan and Kron are pining the loss of the impossible dream where everything was tied to the pursuit of gay happiness. You can’t huddle together against the storm if the weather won’t cooperate.

    So, tra la, go off and marry, parade, snap at tradition and see if you can still draw a crowd. If being gay is really just about hooking up, go ahead. Nobody cares. But apparently gay turns out to be more than a trivial pursuit. And it also appears that homophobia is circling the drain and playing the gay card has lost much of its luster.

  10. Sathar says

    June 30, 2015 at 6:57 am - June 30, 2015

    Ted B., I agree. The bar in Bergen county is/was a legend. The last time I went in (and it’s easily been a couple of years), it was basically wall-to-wall bachelorette parties.

  11. mnscorpio says

    June 30, 2015 at 7:44 am - June 30, 2015

    Im sure they’ll constantly find new ways to feel oppressed. Remember, basically anything anyone does around a member of a politically-favored class (interrupt them, yawn while they speak, or pass them on the freeway) can be called micro-aggression.

  12. Kristina says

    June 30, 2015 at 8:55 am - June 30, 2015

    I’ve always felt a deep discomfort with groups that choose to live outside mainstream culture and values. Call me homophobic and heterosexist, but I’ve always thought that the ultimate goal for GLBT people should be seamlessly blending into majority culture: marriage, monogamy & taking part in your local and religious communities. But that could be the woman in me speaking.

  13. CLR says

    June 30, 2015 at 9:37 am - June 30, 2015

    I’ve always said that by raising heck, many of these people are trying to validate themselves. I see that I was right.

  14. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    June 30, 2015 at 11:54 am - June 30, 2015

    Sather, when I was in college 35-yrs ago there were five large gay bars in Trenton, two in Cherry Hill, two in Lambertville, three in Asbury Park, three in AC, one in Cape May, two in New Brunswick and three more across the Delaware River in New Hope, Pa.

    Last I heard there’s one dance-club left in Asbury Park with a mixed clientele, the Den is still in NB as a college bar, and there’s the Raven Inn in New Hope that’s primarily a restaurant with a weekend pool/bar. That’s it for all on NJ south of the Raritan River.

    The Raven is the closest to me, it’s an hour’s drive on bad roads to get there, and I haven’t bothered in maybe 5-years. …Six?

  15. mike says

    June 30, 2015 at 2:01 pm - June 30, 2015

    “The need or necessity for that “safe anonymous gay place” is gone.”

    Maybe. but I miss these type of spots. Now the internet has taken over as the “safe place.” Unfortunately, the internet is now mostly married bi-guys looking for action “their wife won’t do. ”

    Blech I hate those guys.

  16. CthulhuDreaming says

    June 30, 2015 at 4:22 pm - June 30, 2015

    Not to be pedantic or a pettifogger, but isn’t the state of gayness an attribute not all possess? Is it not therefore absurd to say that gay people do not have anything in common? It would be like saying that white people have nothing in common, or black people have nothing in common.

    There is no facepalm meme for how dumb that thing he just said was.

    In Kron’s case, it looks like she has some serious ego issues if her value hinges upon what she does with whom. Amateur psychology is pleasurable, if about as helpful as the actual thing.

    As I have officially joined the Make It Burn crowd, do the reparations. Do it. The incoming collapse will happen that much faster. Which is, probably, a good thing.

  17. melle1228 says

    June 30, 2015 at 6:37 pm - June 30, 2015

    Translation: What do I do when I can’t be a professional victim any longer?

  18. Steve says

    June 30, 2015 at 10:45 pm - June 30, 2015

    Reparations so where is my 40 acres and a mule? Do lesbians get female mules? I think GRINDR really killed the gay bars.

  19. Just Me says

    July 1, 2015 at 12:23 am - July 1, 2015

    There is a segment of the population that is addicted to drama and being a part of that drama. I think a lot of gays are part of this population. The drama wrapped up into being among the oppressed gays allowed them to feed the need for drama. Now that they have marriage there isn’t the drama. This is one reason why I don’t believe for a minute this decision is the end and why I don’t think Christia s will be left alone.

    The drama oriented gay left has their marriage and the next step will be to destroy the Institution of the church.

  20. Jim in St Louis says

    July 1, 2015 at 7:23 am - July 1, 2015

    “the next step will be to destroy the Institution of the church.”

    I’m sorry to say that I agree, there is such viciousness against the church among GLBT people, and I don’t know the source of that rage.

  21. CH says

    July 1, 2015 at 12:13 pm - July 1, 2015

    There didn’t use to be this rage against the church. If you watch TV shows from the 80s and 90s.. ones that dealt with gays (Golden Girls, Seinfeld) come to mind, the church and religion was still treated with respect even amongst the comedy.

    Flash forward to now and the gays and the left in general have lost any semblance of reverence.

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