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The Tyranny of Stereotypes

Posted by V the K at 7:56 am - December 11, 2015.
Filed under: Gay Culture

I’ve been sitting on this story for a couple of days. It’s a story out of Las Vegas and concerns (yet another) case of a teacher sexually abusing a student. I tell you, those public schoolteachers make Catholic Priests look like, um, Catholic Priests. Although none of the early news stories revealed the sex of the student that was abused… I correctly guessed the sex of the student that had been abused. Mainly, because the mugshot of the perp played into some stereotypes we’re supposed to have been indoctrinated into believing are invalid.


How much do you wanna bet she drives a Subaru?

My angle on this isn’t that all lesbians are child abusers, or that all lesbians correspond to the bull-dyke stereotype. We know neither of these things are true. But it kind of caroms off a discussion I was having the other night about someone’s experience with his “Gay Straight Alliance” in college, Often, when someone new came into the group the loud and brassy lesbians who ran it would say, “I *knew* you were gay.” And my friend could tell this made a lot of newcomers uncomfortable. The last thing a lot of people coming to terms with their sexuality want to hear is, “I could tell you were gay.”

My friend thought this was because some people, especially college age noobs, have religious issues or family issues that make them want to remain closeted or discreet. I think my friend overlooked another factor: To a lot of people, it’s simply embarrassing to be identified with Gay Culture.

When people use the expression, “That’s gay,” as a pejorative, they’re not attack gay people, but really all of the bullsh-t that attaches to Gay Culture. Not everybody enjoys campy entertainment, wants to adopt shrill leftism as the default political setting, squees with delight over every genderbending perversion that comes down the pike, hates ‘organized religion.’ or thinks the Folsom Street Fair is wholesome family entertainment. The Onion satirized this brilliantly over a decade ago. Family Guy, the only show on TV that gets away with it, also nailed it. I take, “That’s so gay,” to mean, “That’s so silly and frivolous,” which is how I feel about the things Gay Culture celebrates.

To sum, I can’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to be associated with Gay Culture. And for that matter, Gay Culture isn’t a very accepting place for those who don’t fit into its rather tight parameters for entertainment, politics, faith, and behavior.



  1. So since we are talking stereotypes-can somebody explain the Subaru=lesbian one? In New England half the population drives a Subaru (and I’m definitely not a lesbian).

    As for the sexual abuse-seems like far more teachers get caught molesting students than Catholic priests and many of the perpetrators are women.

    Comment by Just Me — December 11, 2015 @ 8:41 am - December 11, 2015

  2. “public schoolteachers make Catholic Priests look celibate” would be funnier.

    Comment by critic — December 11, 2015 @ 8:42 am - December 11, 2015

  3. I find myself not even identifying with the label “gay” or the idiotic gay culture anymore. Yesterday in a meeting a coworker showed pictures of our company’s pride parade float, (from 6 months ago) and it just struck me a so weird, that instead of just celebrating general tolerance or acceptance, we specifically have to specifically zero out guys who like to chug cock.

    Comment by mnscorpio — December 11, 2015 @ 8:57 am - December 11, 2015

  4. My understanding is that years ago, Subaru’s internal demographic testing found a disproportionate amount of purchases of their cars went to lesbians. Clear to the point where they did an ad starring Martina Navertalova (sp?) and a few other out lesbians driving their cars.

    In my family we joked it was Ford Escorts. My mom had one, as did the woman she was dating at the time, and a couple of friends.

    Comment by The_Livewire — December 11, 2015 @ 9:44 am - December 11, 2015

  5. To a lot of people, it’s simply embarrassing to be identified with Gay Culture.

    Gods yes….
    When you don’t live or participate in the Coastal Urban Leftie gay-insanity of gay clubbing, Tindr and Gay Pride Jock-strap floats the whole milieu looks rather strange. And who wants to be associated by friends and co-workers by THAT clown-car?

    Thirty, forty years ago there was a certain sophisticated urban style and cool elegance that balanced the underground depravity of NYC, SF, Chicago or LA. Now it’s just vulgar and Leftie group-think. Leave me out…

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — December 11, 2015 @ 10:09 am - December 11, 2015

  6. Heh:

    Comment by PapaGiorgio — December 11, 2015 @ 11:11 am - December 11, 2015

  7. Apparently, the Lesbian was opportunistic in her taking up with a young little thing who’s parents speak like the worst trash possible. I’m not sure whether I’ve ever heard the same kind & frequency of warnings about underage romances, as there are about tobacco use & climate change. There should be. Some of us need a little extra help right from the start & a tip or two would be helpful.

    The Gay Left thinks it’s the only existence possible for gay & since they’re so screamingly vocal the “public” naturally stereotypes & indeed these insulting or descriptive it’s-so-gay plugs are natural. The Straight Left tip toes too much around their Libtard Gay comrades now.

    Comment by Hanover — December 11, 2015 @ 11:40 am - December 11, 2015

  8. One of the reasons it took me so long to realize I was gay was because the only ‘gay’ things I saw were the stereotypical over-the-top pride parade type exhibition.

    I’d look at the guy in assless chaps in the middle of the street or some twirling twink and think.. “That’s not like me…Clearly I can’t be gay!”

    It took me working with a waify twink and overweight long haired rocker who were both gay to realize you don’t have to fit a stereotype.

    I wonder sometimes if this over the top in your face gay ‘pride’ hurts more than it helps.

    Comment by CH — December 11, 2015 @ 1:09 pm - December 11, 2015

  9. Got laid off from my job today, so if I come off a little salty, you know why.

    Gay culture is pretty much dead. I can’t think of any piece of widely-accepted culture that the gay community has produced in recent years- and no, straight people knowing what Grindr is doesn’t count. Where once the gay community had a sort of hard-bitten gentility to accompany the decadence, now the circuit parties and public BDSM demonstrations predominate, and everything just feels like variations on a theme. I’m not saying that gay men shouldn’t ever tie their partners up or should never buy leather harnesses, but disregarding basic rules of public propriety and dragging our bedroom activities out into the street does not endear us to many people.

    Comment by Sean L — December 11, 2015 @ 1:46 pm - December 11, 2015

  10. dragging our bedroom activities out into the street does not endear us to many people.

    Single/divorced middle-aged women think it’s cute, and it let’s them show off their vaunted “tolerance.”

    Comment by V the K — December 11, 2015 @ 1:55 pm - December 11, 2015

  11. Going off of the topic of “in the closet” that was touched on, I find that there’s a surprisingly large number of gays who don’t present themselves as gay simply because they feel that it’s “none of your business” what they choose to do in the bedroom or the kinds of people they like. It’s an underrepresented group when compared to the pride parade crowd obviously because they don’t feel the need to force people into giving them awards and accolades simply for existing.

    Comment by Kilroy — December 11, 2015 @ 2:21 pm - December 11, 2015

  12. I don’t mind being associated with Gay Culture so much.

    It is the trans culture ( that I used to be a part of ) that makes me want to vomit.

    Comment by Roy aka Sandra — December 11, 2015 @ 2:32 pm - December 11, 2015

  13. Sean L. (#9), first, sorry about your job situation. Second, I agree with your longer paragraph.

    Kilroy (#11), I think you have hit the nail on the head, too.

    When Cole Porter wrote the song “Anything Goes”, he had no idea.

    Comment by TheQuietMan — December 11, 2015 @ 3:25 pm - December 11, 2015

  14. Family Guy, the only show on TV that gets away with it, also nailed it.

    You don’t think South Park gets away with it? The whole point (well, one central point) of the episode “The F Word” (S13E12) was that Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave could walk down the street holding hands and having a quiet conversation about Jethuth Chritht WITHOUT making a noisy Harley rally out of it. (And Big Gay Al had the sense that “we’ll never be totally rid of the word fag because it’s too much fun to say.”)

    Plus, the original Lemmiwinks episode.

    But I did like the Family Guy clip (it’s always nice to have my manatee-produced entertainment prescreened).

    Comment by Throbert McGee — December 11, 2015 @ 4:39 pm - December 11, 2015

  15. It reminded me of a little drag-epiphany I had a while back. I think most drag-queen acts are, so to speak, “Coyote Boring” in the sense that I’d chew off my on leg to avoid watching one. Yet I enjoy the work of Glen “Divine” Milstead and Barry “Dame Edna” Humphries, which seems like a contradiction.

    One difference, I think, is that these guys are [historical present] primarily character actors who inhabit different roles — and in the case of Milstead, roles that were largely scripted by John Waters. While it’s fun to watch “Divine as Francine Fishpaw” delivering Waters’ parody of soap-opera dialogue, I’m much less jazzed about the idea of watching “Divine as Divine” reel off groaner double-entendres about sausages (Best in Show nailed THIS one) or lip-synch to Maureen McGovern’s “Love Theme from Superman.”

    One could also mention Scott Thompson’s “Mrs. Hurdicure” or Graham Chapman’s “Housewife who viciously gay-bashes molluscs” as examples of the drag-comedy tradition that does not suck ass.

    “The whelk is nothing but a homosexual of the worst kind. This screaming, prancing, limp-wristed Queen of the Deep makes me sick.”

    Comment by Throbert McGee — December 11, 2015 @ 5:13 pm - December 11, 2015

  16. Sean L: Sorry to hear about your job situation. I hope it was, um, an amicable parting.

    Comment by Throbert McGee — December 11, 2015 @ 5:15 pm - December 11, 2015

  17. Kilroy, thats exactly how I feel. I don’t care if my coworkers know I like dudes, I don’t go out of my way to hide it, but I don’t think it’s the first thing people need to know about me. The coworker I mentioned in comment 3 told us how it feels to be a minority, and how great the pride parade made him feel. Ironically, even tho I probably mention my boyfriend 4-5 times a day, I don’t think he knows Im gay simply because I don’t flaunt it.

    Comment by mnscorpio — December 11, 2015 @ 5:50 pm - December 11, 2015

  18. I think there’s also value in “reclaiming” the purportedly Too Clinical & Pathologizing word homosexual. Just because some religious leaders like to natter on about “homosexuals and lesbians” doesn’t mean WE should feel stuck with a fifty-year-old euphemism/camp-code like “gay.” And if “hetero” and “bi” are acceptable shorthand, there shouldn’t be any difficulty with “homo.”)

    Comment by Throbert McGee — December 11, 2015 @ 6:50 pm - December 11, 2015

  19. I like homo. Or ‘mo’

    Comment by rusty — December 11, 2015 @ 8:45 pm - December 11, 2015

  20. Sean – sorry about the layoff… been there more than once. Talent always finds a home, though.

    @8: Bingo: gay “pride” kept me in the closet more than anything else.

    Comment by KCRob — December 11, 2015 @ 9:37 pm - December 11, 2015

  21. To everybody wishing me condolences, thank you. The parting was as amicable as it could have been. It was purely financial, and being the new guy who wasn’t yet creating revenue for the company, I had to be laid off.

    Having had some time to think the situation over, I’ve decided to take the opportunity to go back to school and pursue a Masters and then a PhD. It’s a little hard to do anything in paleontology without a PhD. I’ll be collecting unemployment until I start receiving my T.A. stipend; an arrangement I’m a little annoyed by.

    Comment by Sean L — December 11, 2015 @ 10:35 pm - December 11, 2015

  22. Damn, I must be a lesbian. I play golf and have a Subaru Outback in my garage. And my legs and underarms certainly have that lesbian fuzzy look.

    Comment by davinci — December 11, 2015 @ 11:22 pm - December 11, 2015

  23. She’s a daughter of a retired East German Olympic shot putter.

    Comment by James — December 12, 2015 @ 7:58 am - December 12, 2015

  24. Sean L., paleontology–interesting. Interesting field, although as an outsider I only follow the broader lines of the field. Have you suggested reading for the bigger picture? My main reading in the field was when I was in high school, and they’ve changed a few things since then.

    Comment by TheQuietMan — December 14, 2015 @ 3:55 am - December 14, 2015

  25. I think there’s also value in “reclaiming” the purportedly Too Clinical & Pathologizing word homosexual.

    Let’s not get carried away. Every time I hear that word, I imagine it being said by the narrator in those ‘educational’ films, particularly the ones made by the noted director who’s name I can’t think of at the moment. (They were in black and white and designed to warn to vulnerable young men about the dangers of what we would call today “predators”, except that every homosexual was an alleged predator in those days.)

    But I will go along with you if we can also bring back the word “Negro”, which is nothing but a shortened version of the sociological/anthropological descriptor Negroid.

    Comment by RSG — December 14, 2015 @ 4:01 am - December 14, 2015

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