To help students learn more about the issue, Whitesel “delves into the world of Girth & Mirth, a nationally known social club dedicated to big gay men,” which the description later states “has long been a refuge and ‘safe space’ for such men.”
Although not a member of the group himself, Whitesel is “a partial insider as a gay man,” and “offers an insider’s critique of the gay movement, questioning whether the social consequences of the failure to be height-weight proportionate should be so extreme in the gay community.”
I imagine it will go something like this:
[youtube]https://youtu.be/Rl6TWGRcs6E[/youtube]
I really want off this planet. Now we have to identify down to every micro trait. I need a safe place for short white women who can’t handle safe spaces.
Oh for the love of… guys: YOU’RE BEARS. Deal with it. Either accept the fact that you are stocky/overweight/fat/whatever, and either go out with other bears, or look for chasers. Or, you know, work out and go on a diet. Trust me: as a cub myself, I can confirm that plenty of gay guys will want to hang out with/date you if you are comfortable in your own skin and just a regular guy.
Either work out or earn more money & move to a border state where you can still get an 18yo Hispanic boyfriend, with the biggest drawback of that being having an 18yo Hispanic boyfriend.
and this is what is called higher education!
I know plenty of chubs and even they wouldn’t go for this
Interestingly, in the article on campus reform.org, it talks about the stigma and social consequences of being fat in gay culture, but never blames anyone for it. When I first came out I was amazed at how intolerant (towards EVERYBODY) many gay people are. they never look in the mirror do they…
I have been “stout” my entire life. I dated A LOT until I met my “bean pole”. Maybe people don’t want to date them because they are a**holes. Who wants to date a man that needs a ” safe” space? Seriously… They need to leave middle school behind and move on
@ tnnsne1: Feminists always like to mock “the fragile male ego,” but I wonder if if shouldn’t be “the fragile gay ego.”
Since I started trying to get a boyfriend in earnest, I’ve been shocked by the number of guys who have told me I am “cute” or even “hot,” and some of them have been pretty fit. Of course, I think it helps that I don’t live in and around one of the big cities, and man-seeking dudes around here seem to be a bit more into the “average Joe to fit” types.
Sean: good to know that not ALL gay guys are so superficial; however, as a sassy gay guy who is 55, it’s pretty easy to give up. The only guys who are attracted to me want $$$. Oh, well…not that sure I really want a boyfriend anyway.
That was a refreshing break from politics. Thanks!
Sean L mentions bears. My bear history is a bit interesting in that I thought of myself in ursine terms even before I realized I was homosexual. Even at my ideal weight I would be what used to be called stocky. I am, at heart, a grizzly. Easy-going, gentle except when being gentle isn’t called for, and I know who I am. I have nothing to prove or to justify my existence.
Do I want to be down in weight? Yes. Will I be? I am working on it. Will I remain a bear in my heart? Most certainly.
As for fitting in, or getting dates: I don’t go out much, don’t care to go, I’m home about 8, just me and my radio. (Where have I heard that?) And yet, I have had people express interest in me. Cheer up, People of Poundage. There is someone out there for you.
Stupid nomenclature aka bears for morbidly obese homosexual and bisexual men. Is it possible for all of you to stop shoveling food in your pie hole and acknowledge you have to count your calories after age 30? The same goes for all men and women, regardless of their sexual preferences. The only thing that makes you fat is your lack of self control. Eat what you want, you still have to count your calories.
@ rjligier: The term you are looking for is “chub.”
Rjligier and Sean L are both correct — in theory, “bear” originally described a rugged Paul-Bunyan-esque man with a bit of extra padding (“well-marbled meat,” as it were) over a muscular frame.
In practice, though, it often seems that the only qualification for being a “bear” is that you like male/male sex and are as fat as a planet.
I would point out that there a valid reasons for NOT basing “bear-ness” solely on beards and overall hairiness — why should gay Asian men who’ve got the same macho, stocky-muscle build as Sammo Hung or Bolo Yeung be excluded from the “bear club” just because East Asians have a genetic tendency towards smooth faces and bodies?
(Even if you don’t recognize Sammo and Bolo by name, if you’ve ever in your life watched a kung fu movie, you’ve undoubtedly seen both of them in Villain roles.)