A gay entrepreneur has launched a business setting up gang bangs. Apparently, this helps gay men get in touch with their inner selves. Also, chlamydia.
Three years before becoming a proud American small business owner, Daniel organized a one-off group session on a lark for a friend’s birthday. But when word of the event’s success got around, he was approached by someone who wanted to try the experience, too—and they were willing to pay for it. So Daniel found his first prospective client. Then another. And another. “What surprised me more than anything is how many people have this fantasy,” Daniel told me. A waiting list developed with clients clamoring for priority, and some events overflowed with willing tops. Eventually, Daniel had to develop a business model simply to organize the chaos.
But lest you find this whole thing sleazy, rest assured that there is scholarly research on the subject that assures us that receiving multiple DNA samples in one’s rectal cavity is a perfectly natural… nay… laudatory and empowering activity for a gay man.
In his article “Breeding Culture: Barebacking, Bugchasing, Giftgiving,” humanities scholar and author Tim Dean discusses the deep, primal needs that might be at work in a gang bang—particularly in a bareback (i.e. condomless) context. At first, Dean’s assessment dovetails with Daniel’s in that both see the “multiply penetrated bottom as achieving an elevated status” because he alone enjoys all the men in the room, and through skin-to-skin contact establishes a corporeal connection between the tops, “a kind of bodily community.” The bottom is adored as the vessel that makes the moment work.
Obviously, this is an activity that needs to be brought up into the mainstream, normalized, and taught to middle schoolers as part of a well-rounded Sex Ed curriculum. It would be intolerant to leave such activities in the shadowy provinces of private relationships. Perhaps, gang bangs should be covered under Obamacare for their psychological benefits. And If you disagree with any of this, you hate gay people and want them burned in camps.