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Well, This Comes as a Shock to No One

by

Boring, if true…

RadarOnline.com has learned that Richard Simmons is the latest Hollywood star to secretly undergo a sex change!

The National ENQUIRER broke the explosive news today with a jaw-dropping cover story that features never-before-seen photos of Simmons living as his female identity, Fiona.

The incredible pictures of Simmons, 67, with flowing brunette locks and womanly curves are photoshop-free. And a friend of the exercise guru insisted, “[This is] not just Richard Simmons in drag. This is Richard dressed as a softly spoken woman named Fiona!”

Comments

  1. At the age of the upper 60’s, lower 70’s, most men’s libedo tends to take a nose dive. When that happens, strange things occur in the psyche, especially when it comes to sex identity.

    Bruce and Richard are the result.

  5. Cray Cray, dont think there is anyone disallowing to live in peace.

    Except for vapid self-centered liberals who think that it’s their God-given right to butt into other people’s beliefs and traditions. (“Bake me that cake, dammit!”)

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  7. And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit. And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit. And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads. And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. – Rev.9:1-6

    Oh Lord G-d!, is there no end to this?

  8. So.. this explains the “disappearance” of Mr. Simmons that was reported a few months ago.

    Apparently so. So he was only being held ‘hostage’ via his own will.

  9. Well, fortunately for Fiona, she won’t need to change her wardrobe much… #pantyhose! #stripedshortshorts! #sportsbraundermuscletank!

  10. Cuing Eddie Murphy as “Little Richard Simmons”:

    Got a girl named Daisy
    The bitch is fat and lazy
    Blubber to the east, blubber to the west
    Bitch got long and floppy breasts…

    P.S. Richard Penniman’s ORIGINAL pre-radio lyrics of “Tutti-Frutti” were, reportedly:

    “Tutti Frutti, good booty
    If it don’t fit, don’t force it
    You can grease it, make it easy”

  17. Drudge posted a picture of the newly minted Fiona and I decided that the aberration formerly known as Richard was more than enough to warrant avoidance. Some things in life are better left to compost unnoticed, unmolested and unannounced.

    Good luck, Fiona, now just go away and get on with getting on in the privacy of your own fantasy world.

  19. #18 – Oh, how I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall to have seen that!

    Richard Simmons needs to be shot with a Prozac dart. Stat.

    Regards,
    Peter H.