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When Zoftig White Women Attack

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So, there’s this woman, you see, and her name is Lena Dunham. She is the offspring of two New York Trustafarians who thought of themselves as artists. (Her dad liked to paint gross pictures of hairy ladyparts.) In her autobiography, she joyfully recounts sexually molesting her younger sister, and when Republican-bashing and fake-rape-claims became trendy, she obligingly claimed  a ‘college Republican’ raped her when she was in college. (This claim, of course, was false.)  Naturally, she has become a left-wing feminist icon because insecure unattractive women telling outrageous lies to bash men is what feminism is all about these days.

Anyway, so, this Lena Dunham person was at some gala. (Aside: I have never in my entire life been to a ‘gala.’ But every time I read about one, they sound just terrible. I think gala must be a word meaning ‘An event where terrible people go to look at each other.’)  And she was seated across from Odell Beckham who plays football — the real kind, not European Metric Kickball. And she apparently was distressed because Mr. Beckham displayed no interest in the dumpy feminist in the tuxedo sitting across from him.

I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, “That’s a marshmallow. That’s a child. That’s a dog.” It wasn’t mean—he just seemed confused.

I don’t think that’s a fair comparison; people actually like children, dogs, and marshmallows.

(Aside: I think Mr. Beckham was being most polite under the circumstances. Most normal people, upon finding themselves seated across from Ms. Dunham, would suddenly remember that they had promised to pick up their best friend at the airport and drive her to a hospital because of a family emergency involving the babysitters curfew.)

Anyway, Lena Dunham decided to have a bitchfest about the incident with fellow chubby feminist, the unfunny vagina-comedian Amy Schumer. Who gave her what I guess is the best chubby-feminist-to-chubby-feminist compliment she could manage.

You were dressed like a boy, and you looked sexy, and I really appreciated you showing me your tits several times.

I think she stole that line from the note Barack Obama passed to the Danish Prime Minister after Nelson Mandela’s funeral.

So, that’s pretty much the story, and if it seems like a pointless waste of time… yeah, it is.

BTW, Slate seems to think that if a black football player isn’t hitting on a chubby white feminist, he must be gay.  Yeah, that’s got to be it.

Comments

  5. Poor Odell Beckham, Jr. failed the feminist horn-dog test. There was Dunham sitting across from him all fat and sassy just waiting for the hung-like-a-horse jungle boy to zero in on her vagina and he didn’t so much as sniff in her direction.

    Lucky Odell Beckham, Jr. didn’t give Dunham the chance to start screaming “rape” because he called her “gal” or “honey” or something.

    Lena Dunham is a walking, talking bundle of raw nerve ends who is constantly trolling for micro-abuses which she can call out and go into spasms of nuclear hissy-fits over.

    Well, if she popped nude out of the cake, the party goers would throw plates at her. She is not Rubenesque (pleasingly plump) or pretty or cute or striking or eye-catching or even mildly noticeable …. so … she commands/demands attention by forcing her self and body parts on people who love degenerates going full metal egregious. Feminists and hag bags flock to her defense and berate the males and females who don’t rise to her fetid bait.

    Lena Dunham is self-entitled. She and her sisterhood are the contessas of contagion and defilement. Somehow we are supposed to be “blessed” and we are to admire her and learn from her because she has gained so much “resolution” from molesting her baby sister.

    Dunham and Schumer are a pair of dissolute counter-culture mouthpieces who believe they are the vanguards of some nebulous awakening or even enlightenment. Well, I, for one, don’t get it. From my perspective, they are slaphappy stooges who have no compass.

  6. Take heart: the SJWs did their re-shuffling of the victim-group totem pole yesterday, and apparently “straight white woman” now ranks below “maybe-gay black man.” Feminists are castigating for her for this incident. They’re also starting to say that she’s a no-talent hack; something those of us not blinded by the blinkers of the SJW cult knew all along, but which they are only now admitting. Perhaps because they no longer have to pretend to like her because of “feminist solidarity” or whatever B.S. reason they had?