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How Was Your Weekend?

Posted by V the K at 7:38 pm - October 16, 2016.
Filed under: Life

Went to Markoff’s Haunted Forest last night with three good friends and had an outstanding time. This is the sixth time I’ve gone, but easily the best time I’ve had there. The Super Full moon was the crowning touch of the evening. Also, I got pulled from my group and shoved down a mineshaft. MHF is just the best Halloween attraction I have ever been to.

Last year, we did the Ohio Haunted Prison (where the exteriors for The Shawshank Redemption were filmed) last year. The haunted prison itself was brilliantly done and definitely worth the price of admission. But Markoff’s wins hands down because you don’t wait in line for three hours (and that’s if you get there early) before getting in to see the scary stuff. At MHF, you get to hang around bonfires drinking hot cider and cocoa, watching flame jugglers, it’s like a big Hallowe’en party, and then they call your group and you go through the forest. There are two trails, and there always stupid liberal women yammering in line “Should we go on the other trail? Is the other trail better?” I like to think they ruined their evening by obsessing over the idea that the people in the other line had the better time.

My only thing about these attractions is my inability to suspend disbelief coupled with my hypervigilance. I walk into the ‘House of Scary Clowns’ for example, and I’m thinking, “They did a really nice job with the layout of this place. Note how the bright red eyes draw your attention upward, thus distracting your attention from the attack, which comes from the sides.”

Anyway, I hope you had a good weekend. I like to watch horror movies in October. These are some of my favorite scary/fun movies for the Season of the Lengthening Shadows. Feel free to critique or suggest your own.

  • Trick ‘R Treat — Multiple interlocking storylines and a werewolf orgy featuring Anna Paquin.
  • Young Frankenstein  — “What knockers.” “Oh, thank you, doctor.”
  • Dog Soldiers — Hunky soldiers versus Scottish werewolves.
  • Dead Space — Technically, a video game, but scary than most any movie and I usually play through on Halloween.
  • Black Sheep — I have a soft spot for cheesy movies, and they don’t come any cheesier.
  • Pet Sematary — It holds up well.
  • Shawn of the Dead — Who doesn’t love it? What, you’ve never seen it? Never? Well, FU, man.
  • Sleepy Hollow — Not a huge Johnny Depp fan, but this one works.
  • Darkness Falls — It’s a crappy movie, but it works for me.

Honorable Mention for Patrick Stewart’s most embarassing movie role. (Yes, even worse than Jeffrey.)  He played a space vampire. That’s right, a Space Vampire.